Why does my girlfriend have such a horrible attitude?

Question

In the beginning its always good, I already know that much, but the problems didn't start until she got pregnant and ever since it hasn't slowed down, all friends and my family don't like her at all and keep telling me i should leave i can do a lot better, we have plans to get married sometime next year but today we got in a small argument over basically nothing, I feel like sometimes its the hormones, but then when i talk to her ex-best friend that is still my good friend (we were friends before they were, and before me and her got together) she tells me that she treats all her previous guys like that and thats why she can't keep anybody, i really do love her and i know she loves me and we are about to start a family but i can't understand why she acts like this, and its not just towards me she yells at her mom and her sister, i want to make this work but is this the best thing, some people told me that people like this are very controlling, please help me with detailed answers

She already has a son so this is here second pregnancy, the first father was there throughout the entire prenancy then left after the baby was born

I know she isn't happy about being pregnant, but why push me away when shes already been left by the first father?

Answer 1

Some of it may be the hormones. She sounds like she has issues with being close to people. Like she is testing you, acting her worst towards you to see if you will take it or bail out. Some people are truly afraid to be happy, so they sabotage the relationship in order to protect themselves from being hurt. I would sit her down and talk to her seriously. Good luck!

Answer 2

Hmm, advice from an ex-best friend might not be your most reliable source. Ex tends to have a little bit of bitterness attached to it.
Pregnancy can be really rough on women. The hormones definitely cause problems with the emotions. And not to mention the big chance that this brings into her life. It's a lot of stress.
It's good to be supposrtive, but at the same time it's not your responsibility to take abuse. How did she treat her family beforehand? That's generally a good sign of how she will treat you in the future (I know that's an odd thing, but it's true)

Answer 3

I have been right in this same situation. I got really moody after having my first child to the point where I would pick a fight with my ex just to do it. But I realized I wasn't happy so I felt I had to make it miserable for him as well. Love is a great thing to have but to be happy you need more then love. Ask her if she is happy and if not what could be done to help it. Kids do tie you down so maybe she just needs a break to have a "girls day". You keep the baby the and let her have the day to pamper herself. Good luck hope this helps.

Answer 4

Perhaps she is stressed out with the pregnancy, or maybe she's mentally ill. Some folks are so frightened of abandonment they act out against those they love most--kind of a weird test of loyalty. My parents took a course before they were married--it was through their church and it just involved talking, counselling, helping them prepare by knowing what to expect from marriage and children and the accompanying stresses. They've been married for 39 years. Perhaps you can find something similar. Good luck.

Answer 5

It could very well be that, she is a dominating lady. At the same time it is also a fact that, when girls are pregnant they are going through a huge hormone changes, that effects their emotion as well. They do need a lot of care at that time. So take it easy and thing all the side and take a decision.

Answer 6

It sounds like her bad attitude is a defense mechanism. She may feel insecure about herself and this is a way for her to be in control of the situation. If I were you I would have a long talk with her you guys are about to be parents and the child doesn't need to be raised in that type of environment

Answer 7

First off I wouldn't listen to her ex bf. Girls can be very nasty towards ex friends. Second most women are controlling. They have to be to keep the ship running smoothly. Third she is going through all sorts of hormonal things right now. Being that she's carrying your child dont you think its too late for all this thinking ????

Answer 8

well i think that obviously yea she has issues within herself that makes her like that but to be honest the pregnancy and hormone flare-ups arent making matters any better. u need to tell her str8 up that she needs to get her attitude in check because im sure u cant spend the rest of ur life with someone doggin u out all the time. and think about it......what if u two argue in front the child? do u want to bring ur child up in a hostile household like that? just think about it cuz ur child should be ur first priority

Answer 9

i'm not sure about what, but your future wife is angry. it could be something that a boyfriend did to her but i believe it goes back much farther than that. if no one can remember when she did not act like this it probably goes back to her childhood. what ever it was has been pushed way back in her subconscious. it has laid there and fermented until it has become uncontrollable. ask her in a moment of tranquility if she likes being that person that upsets everyone. i'll bet if she is honest she will tell you she doesn't like herself when she is like that.
there are allot of people with those actions that don't even know they are angry about something. my daughter, now 15, cut her hair really short when she was 4 or 5. she was very angry because her mother scolded her for cutting her hair and then MADE her show me. she wasn't afraid or remorseful. she dealt with the situation with anger. as she grew older other members of the family noticed her behavior changes but my wife and i thought she would grow out of it. when she started cutting herself we took her for professional help. in one of my conversations with her counselor i realized that her actions were motivated by anger. as i tried to think of how i could help her i realized that i too was angry. i let go of my anger. just made the decision to lay it down and never pick it back up. through talks with my daughter about my ephiony i was able to help her realize that she too was angry. she still has blow ups now and then but her behavior has improved greatly. she even plays with her little brother without hitting or calling him names.
ps - i'm sure that the pregnancy has exacerbated the poor behavior. never ask her "what is wrong with you", but instead ask her what is bothering her. talk to her parents and siblings and see if they may know of an incident that might have been tramatic enough in her childhood that would have left her angry. the 1st cousin to anger is depression. they usually go hand and hand. women often have negative changes to their emotions during pregnancy. this often comes out as irratation to even a person's voice. i do not believe that anyone wants to feel that way. i also believe that everyone wants to be happy and pleasant. have patience with her and help her explore the possible causes for her anger and anxiety.
good luck with the new family.

Answer 10

She has a bad attitude all the time beacuse she's a b**ch and now because you got her pregnant, you're stuck with her forever. Maybe you two should seriously talk about adoption. You dont' sound anywhere near prepared to be mature, responsible parents who are role models to their children.
I feel sorry for the baby who has to grow up with this crap.