How many men love the idea of two girls? How many Girls have secretly enjoyed the fantasy of their men feeling sex in the way she does? Well, with us, both could happen. BUT - u knew it was coming.. How can two commited lovers go beyond two without breaking that 'commitment' line?
I've been in threesomes as a single male, as a couple, and it's almost always hurt the couple! Have others found a more successful method? I've even joined BDSM communities, but try to find someone without making a big spalsh!...
Quiet, patience, and hunger, make for an erotically charged wait..
2006-10-19 09:51:06 · 4 answers · asked by Shelli_k18 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Of course you can a good relationship and still incorporate all the things you both love. No, it will not be easy but if you really love her then it will work. The first thing you must have a "true" parameters therefore, the commitment line will not be broken and you two as a couple will always be successful. Ask yourself why each time it ended up hurting the couple more. Once you realize that then don't repeat the same mistake twice. It may also come down to a trial and error type situation to begin with. The bond lies between you and her anyone else shall remain on the outside. Always remember that and the successful method rests right before your eyes. Always sit back and listen to what other people have to say and they will let you know where they are coming from, don't rush into an sexual relationship with anyone and if you don't then you will be hungry for what is anticipated.
2006-10-19 10:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Swan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
research polyamory
In any relationship communication is key. Introducing a third person in a relationship, having discussed it honestly before and, if necessary, after, will complicate things, but not unbearably so, as long as everybody is honest and committed. If the relationship was off to begin and communication was not great, then it ill spell disaster. Remember it is not for everyone. And even for those that can handle it, it takes a lot of honesty with others and especially themselves.
Negotiate up front being honest and KEEP TALKING about it, and stay honest, when you start hiding you start loosing.
2006-10-19 19:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by Don't look too close! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My primary partner (pp) and I are both lesbian, and we have a poly family with 3 girls - one straight, one bi and one lesbian. We are into BDSM - my pp is the dominant of two and I am the dominant of one. In addition, my pp is submissive to me. Additionally, my pp and I have a "girlfriend" (i.e. friend with benefits) who is a "friend of the family".
It is a LOT of work. We have to make sure everyone gets equal attention, but that all of our individual and collective needs are met as well as possible. We are lifestyle bdsm - we have one "vanilla" night a week to play poker and go to a bar with our vanilla friends. I can tell you right now that we spend a heck of a lot more time taking care of our relationships than we do having sex. Let's see, on average my pp and I have sex about twice a week, we see our gf about once a week, and we try to see our girls once a week - although that only incidentally involves actual sex. All of our girls are allowed to have outside sexual relationships with the person(s) of their choice.
I realize that having a man involved would change the dynamics of our poly family - that by having only women it has a different flavor than it would with one or several men, or if we were all men. Basically, this is our Family Of Choice - and we also know that it will not last. These kinds of relationships are organic, and they sometimes work - until they don't any more.
My pp and I were completely up front and honest at the beginning of our relationship - and I mean _completely_; painfully and embarrassingly so. We decided we're too old for the crap of bothering to date someone we will end up not liking or trying to change or who will try to change us. I would say that is the difference. We're no longer willing to waste time on relationships that are _almost_ what we want. (We're both in our 40s.)
I would say that your best bets _are_ the BDSM community, or the swingers community (where else are you going to find people who, in general, are willing to accept all kinds of relationships?); choose a family friend, or maybe a couple that you are friends with; or choose someone who neither you or your partner knows well. Oh, also, I can tell you that just because we agreed to have sex with our gf, we only do it together, and that includes no emotional cheating. (She can't borrow my sweetie to snuggle her on the couch while I'm at the grocery store. But she can borrow my sweetie to cut her grass - as long as ours gets cut first!)
Really, think seriously about the time and relationship commitment this is going to be. Perhaps it's one of those things best left in the realm of fantasy.
Good luck!
2006-10-19 22:02:34 · answer #3 · answered by redlips1487 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly i have tried that one having a gf and bf at the same time and then my gf having a bf too it just made things all to complicated cause then u got to try and spend equal time with one or the other and then one of them is complaining about the other it is just way to complicated to even try and be with two people at once.
2006-10-19 16:58:19 · answer #4 · answered by psycholilblondegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋