we always fight once he gets around his family. why does he do that? does he not want me? plus it gets worse when he doesnt get his way. How can i talk to him, he doesn't like to talk to me when he's mad.
2006-10-19 09:47:28 · 30 answers · asked by jenny001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is it worth it? I'd be heading out the door pretty soon. Life is too short to waste it on arguments.
2006-10-19 09:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by Gene Rocks! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I'm not sure if I understand your situation correctly, but I'm assuming you mean that when his family is around, you guys tend to get in a fight? If so, maybe he is more tense when his family is around. Being around certain people sometimes cause anxiety for some.
My bf doesn't like to talk to me when he's mad either. He just clams up and gives me the silent treatment or ignores me. I usually get him to talk by buttering him up, and being persistent, and trying to cheer him up like little kid, and using ever ounce of my feminine wiles to break down his barrier.
The key is to not put him on the defensive, so you play it like your a harmless little kitten. It usually works for me.
Do you care enough about this guy to make it work? You say that it gets worse when he doesn't get his way. That makes him sound spoiled and controlling. A healthy relationship is about compromise..we give a little and we take a little. If he is using his family as leverage against you, that is not healthy either. If you are looking at a long term relationship with this man, he needs to treat you with respect when his family is around so that they can see you with equal respect.
2006-10-19 10:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by CloudRider9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jenny, it sounds to me as if your bf tries to use his family as an audience to support his ego. It must make him feel as if he's more of a man to be able to talk to you in any kind of a way when they are around. As long as you allow him to continue to talk to you in such a manner, he will. Stand up for yourself and set some rules. Let him know that it hurts you and upsets you very much when you all fight. If he continues to exhibit the same behavior, then you may need to make a move. If he loves you, and really wants it to work between you guys, he'll try to make a change. And just in case he doesn't, there are plenty of other great guys out there who are willing to treat you right. Good Luck
2006-10-19 09:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by fabulous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When something like that happens, sometimes the best thing to do is to take a break from each other. It can work wonders. Don't necessarily break up, but just take a break. That way you can sort out your true feelings. You can take some time to put things in perspective. It can make the situation much clearer.
2006-10-19 09:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by cannonball 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't fight with him anymore. Either there is a root problem to all your fights that you need to find that you MIGHT be able to resolve that will stop you from fighting.
If not then you should have a long chat with him as it doesn't seem like the two of you are meant to be together.
2006-10-19 09:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is a good thing to leave him alone when he is mad, you don't want it to get physical. Let him cool off. As far as the disrespect in front of the family, don't let him do it. When he does that walk out, show him that you won't take it.
2006-10-19 09:50:38 · answer #6 · answered by sea shell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Leave him alone when he is mad.
2. Tell him you would rather not be around his family because it causes you to fight.
3. Ask him if he wants you.
4. Learn english.
2006-10-19 09:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he's just going through a hard time in his life right now and thinks that nobody understands, not even you. That's normal though. Since he doesn't like to talk when he's angry, then try talking to him when he's not. If that doesn't work then try hanging in there if it doesn't hurt you too bad to do that. If nothing works then you should just maybe be friends.
2006-10-19 09:53:11 · answer #8 · answered by honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it seems that your boyfriend only fights when he's around his relatives,then it a possibility,that he's trying to prove to them,that he is in control of you!. It is not neccessary for him to have "his way". If he wants to act like a child,then let him stay home with his mother,and you find yourself another boyfriend,who will treat you with respect,no matter where you are.
2006-10-19 09:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants to show his family that he has controll over u, he wants u or he may find excuse to leave u.......Ask him once when he is not mad that u can talk to him... The answer is always mad when u want to talk to him.
2006-10-19 09:51:04 · answer #10 · answered by harry d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋