I cant take anymore...?

Question

I just want to snap... I was on anti-depressents for 12 years and got off of them about a half a year ago... I feel much better off them but now stress with my family the past 3 weeks is making me want to find the highest building in town. Im having thoughts of just going into my basement and hanging myself. I refuse to go back to anymore theRAPIST or taking meds or any more of that... im done with that all. I cant leave my house either, i have no where to go, no car, no money... No friends to take me in or family... Im seriously just thinking of pitching a tent in the woods somewhere and freezing/starving to death. When will it get better? I cant take it anymore... im inching to close. I hate being weak.

Answer 1

Hello coffeejitterzz,

I feel for you. I understand what you are going through.
I can understand why you refuse to see a therapist, or take any more medication - you have done good to stay off the anti-depressants, but don't let the stress you are going through now put you back on them, because pills are not the answer.

Neither is suicide.

Everyone has family stress, and while I know this won't help you at all, because to you, your family stress is unique to you, at least know that you are not alone, and there is help available.

You say you cannot leave your house, that you have nowhere to go... where would you like to go? Away from your family? Are they the ones causing you these problems?

You do not need a tent to freeze or starve to death. While I am not condoning your suicidal wishes, I am pointing out that, in reality, you don't fully want to reach this conclusion... I feel that you have hope - why else would you post a question like this otherwise?

It will get better when you start taking control of your life.
You are only weak because you tell yourself this.

You have three choices in life. Only three.

1 - You can kill yourself, and reach your death as soon as possible.

2- You can go through life being depressed, be miserable, and then die.

or

3 - You can do all you can in life to make yourself happy, and then die.

It is a fact that one day you WILL die.

Bearing that in mind, what have you got to lose? Live your life how you want to...

It will get better, but you must want it to.

If you have nowhere to go, I have a spare room, but of course you must pay rent. (I'm being serious - if you want a place, email me. I'm in UK though, so probably no good for you).

I wish you well. Be strong for yourself because no-one else will do the job for you.

Answer 2

Your not weak your overwhelmed. Your also blocking options by saying what you cant do rather than focusing on what is actually possible. There must be something that helps you feel better when things seem as they do now. Given that you have been off meds for six months (well done by the way, must have taken some courage) you must have found something that works. Whatever it is do it. And if your family are too stressful to be around at the moment take a break from them and make contact with someone who is supportive. Whats the point in going through all that you have over the years just to make yourself suffer a miserable, torturous, painful death. Stop thinking of ways to punish yourself. Stressful families are punishing enough. Remember everything passes at some point including the way you feel now. Hope you do feel better soon. I wish you well.

Answer 3

Hi - it sound like you need a reason to be. Everyone needs to have an occupied mind or we'd all go mad. Do you have a job? This not only means money, but meeting people, keeping busy and gives you a purpose. If not, maybe a hobby or college course? try not to let your family get to you - most families are a pain in the rear, my husbands certainly are.
Everyone has sh*t times. But time is a healer. That is so true. There are always people a lot worse off than you and always think - this time next year your life could be totally different. Taking your own life is NOT an answer. This is a sad thing to do that will leave everyone who knows you absolutely distraught. And what a waste of a precius gift. I have experience of this. Things WILL get better but you need to take control. Small positive steps to change your life. One thing at a time - a job = money = friends = independence = your own place = holidays/social life = meeting people etc etc you see my point.

Good Luck - be positive.

Answer 4

Talking works wonder and you should not be on your own when you are feeling so low. Try the Samaritans whilst they will not be able to provide material help they can listen and sign post you to groups and services within your community such as the Sally Army.

You can probably get by without a car but why do you not have any money. The lack of it can do strange things to the brain especially if you have noone you can talk to. I would suggest that you find your nearest branch of the salvation army and go and get a cuppa and a biscuit. Find someone there who is in chanrge and they may be able to give you the support you need to get you back on your feet.



All the best and let me know how you get on okay. xx Annette.

Good luck and no more talk of jumping off of anything

Answer 5

You are not weak, but you are 'standing at a crossroads' and need to make some decisions. The 'hate' you feel should be relabelled as the seed for making positive change. I bet you haven't always felt like this - and you don't have to help yourself out of this alone. Even if you did have friends or family to talk to you should still seek some professional counselling via your doctor or the Samaritans (as other posters have already suggested). Get away from your family for a while - and don't think their world will fall apart if they make you feel trapped into staying. Things will start to feel better as soon as you start sorting out a game plan (day by day). Hold on in there - and I wish you strength.

Answer 6

Stop being a victim and start being a survivor! You are doing well, it is normal to relapse some do it days, weeks, months or even years after coming off their meds. So get yourself down to the doctor get back on the meds even if it is for just a few weeks just till you stop thinking like a victim and are strong enough to start believing in your own inner strength. We all have it, in some it is just berried deeper down . Find a good clinical phycologist discuss all your problems with them hopes, fears, wishes and especially your darker thoughts. Find a hobby something to take your mind off your problems that might help too. Oh and since you have access to the Internet join a support group.

Answer 7

You've taken the first steps and vented your feelings on here. The next step is to speak to your doctor as frankly as you just have done. Tell him/her that you don't want to return to anti-depressants but you need help on a one to one basis. This help provided can guide you to centres/refuges where you can get a place to live. Your identity can be kept a secret if you wish. You know that something has to change in your life and only you can make the first move. It won't be easy at first but in time it will be 100% easier and you will look back and never regret it. Don't think that it's the end of the road for you and that you have nowhere to turn. You can do this if you really want to and I hope you do.

Answer 8

Calm down, take a deep breath. Actually you need someone to vent with, I did not say on, I said with. There is no better way to release frustration than to yell, scream, talk, or cry. If you are feeling stress from your family and you do not have somewhere to go, find someone to talk to, online, outside of your situation. They could give you a better outlook on what you are going through. Therapist just tell you what they think you want to hear, and get paid for as well.

Answer 9

12 yrs is a lot of time to be on those drugs. They definitely mess with your mind and may take a long time to completely get out of your system. Suicide is not a good option at all. Being weak is not a flaw. Every city has a mental health facility that is free and or sliding scale. Any phone book has these places listed somewhere in the beginning of them. Suicide Hotline is also a great place to start, if only just to talk to someone who cares. You were smart to quit the meds. Don't give up kiddo. "The Best Way Out Is Always Through." (Robert Frost). Find comfort in music, writing (in a journal), talking with God (even if you don't believe in Him, He believes in you and will listen if you trust...).
Take care.

Answer 10

you are not weak. if you were you would jump off a building, or go and pitch a tent. cant you see this as a challenge, its a life problem that needs to get to the root to solve. you can take more because you are a survivor well you sound like one. tablets dont get to the root of any problem, only you can.

i dont know where you are, but if you are in the uk you can get help as i did i got rehoused. just remember if you are determined you can achieve anything. be strong and never give up. in life you have bad patches followed by good ones.