i still have the promblem with 4th grader, everything you have suggested i have done,spanked, sat in school,?

Question

took away games,quit buying stuff,right now he is in the corner 4screwing up today at school.

Answer 1

He is old enough to become repsoponsible for his actions. Make him partof the discipline by using a ladder discipline chart. I started using it for my children and now that they are a ccountable for their actions and what rewards they get they've started behaving better. Also, maybe your child needs to have some extra one on one time with you. It could be a grab for what ever attention he can get. Does he show remorse for the bad behavior he is doing at school or at home? If not then I would make an appointment with a counselor somewhere that deals with conduct disorder and make sure we're on the right path and can straighten him out now. A child is "programed" by the ages of 10 to 13 and it becomes almost impossible to change negative behavior after that time frame.

Answer 2

I have a friend who had a son that had the same problem. She stopped trying to punish him so much. It seemed that everyone just got so use to punishing this child that he got use to getting this attention even though it was negative. She basically stopped making such a big deal out of it. If he came home and had a bad day, she hugged and kissed him and made him go to bed. She gave him no more attention than that. She made a chart on the frig that showed him a goal or reward. The goal/reward was picked by the both of them. If he had so many good days of school then he got the reward. It worked. She talked about this with his teacher and the teacher starting using the method too. Now he is one of the top students in his class and gets in no more trouble at school. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Sit down and talk to his teacher. Talk to his third grade teacher, his second grade teacher and so on. These people are professionals, they have also spent a lot of time with your child. The school is a great resource, that's just what they do. They are not going to intervene or offer advice unless you express your concerns to them first and ask for help and advice. A kindergarden teacher may tell you this is normal behavior for some children, while a first grade teacher may say that she had noticed some difficulty in social interactions.

When I had these problems with my son around that age I spoke with three of his previous teachers. We decided to hold him back a grade. It was a very hard decision for me, I felt like a failure as a parent.

It turned out that he was struggling with the work (even though he was recieving passing grades) and the social interaction with other children. These things were destroying his self esteem and causing him to act out. We worked with the school to help him (and me) understand that being held back was not something to be ashamed of. They addressed all of his concerns about being held back. The next year, and each thereafter, he excelled!! He made more friends than ever, got good grades and quit acting out.

Turned out I ended up feeling lousy that I hadn't figured it out sooner because I had been punishing him for something that I should have been helping him with. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

You may have a child like I had. We didn't know about ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) then, so we pulled our hair out trying to get him through school. He was continually getting into trouble and causing disturbances in class. We went through the same ordeal with punishments, etc.. Finally, after he got to high school, a concerned teacher pegged his problem and we were on the way to giving him help. Your child may be hyperactive on top of everything else which makes things a lot worse. I would suggest that you try to get help by visiting the doctor. Don't get discouraged and keep on the trail. You ought to have enough information describing his behavior to pass along to a professional. Also, you might try to enlist the help of your school councilor - sometimes the teachers don't give students the benefit of the doubt. Hang in there and good luck.

Answer 5

i had been there and done all that and mt best soultion is now that he is a 4th grader its really not much u can do here what i did with my girls i done did everything u have done and belive me that crap didnt help but either get 2 switches and put together and go down town on his or her *** and another soultion is put him /her in a dark room for sometime and dont give that child anything but a hard time let that chid knows whos the boss and still show love for that child.i tell u now dys u cant even whip your child the way u want to but hey im old school and i be dam if that child of mines get over me wish u all the good luck.

Answer 6

Try a school counselor to see if he will talk with them and to see if there is anything going on. May be he can't concentrate in school and is acting out ti get help. Take him to a neurologist to see if he has any type of a disorder and see if that helps. Try some after school activities. Look at the friends he has and see if the attitude is coming from them. Open up to him and let him know that you are there to listen and if he has a problem let him be open about it.

Answer 7

What does he do? Is he just an all around bad kid in school. Like bullying or being rude to the teacher. Being inapropriate? Well I whould have told you to slap him up a couple of times. But since that didn't work why don't you show him some stuff about what happens to people who do those things. Take him to a jail and show him what happens to bad kids. It might work.

Answer 8

maybe he just wants to run around the park or something.

im not saying reward him for acting out, but you should praise him for doing a job well done, even if it's for a simple thing like washing his hands before eating dinner with or without being asked.

if he keeps acting out, JUST SPANK HIM!

im not saying go Mommy Dearset on him or anything, but i know firsthand that spankings do help ADD kids.

in 7th grade, i positively would not sit still. id drive the teachers CRAZY because i wouldnt listen, wouldnt do any work, talked and disturbed the class, etc.

the problem with today's society is they dont have any discipline. where else, except america, can a child blatantly disobey a request and get away with it??

well, they tried to diagnose me with ADHD, but then we found out it was just plain B-A-D.

when word of my disruption reached my parents, they tried to ground me. after all, i was almost 13, and they felt that i no longer needed to be spanked.

long story short: i still acted up.

one day , my father had it. he tried to talk to me about it, but old habbits die hard. i figured i was cool enough to speak my mind, so i said the WRONG thing.

my father spanked me. HARD. once was enough to get his point across cuz the rest is history. the problem child turned into a quiet, respectful student in litterally a nanosecond.

in retrospect, the reason why i acted up was because i thought i could do whatever i wanted without repercussions. i thought my parents and i were on the same level because they did not physically discipline me.

once they did, i saw the boundary line. PARENTS> me.

most radicals will say this traumatizes kids but that's not true. it's healthy, and i know it helped me. now that i know who my superior is, i've actually gotten along better with both my parents.

i am now 16. i can drive, hang out with friends, high school stuff. my parents have given me FREEDOM which i appreciate because i know who i answer to.

SPANK YOUR SON! it will help him later on in life!

Answer 9

Why are you punishing him.

Haven't you ever heard for Bad attention is better than no attention.

The more your punish him the more he will do it. He just wants to get the reaction out of you. He is a bad boy personality when he grows up.

You need to spend more time at the park..and play time..get into it with him..run around the park..kicking a soccer ball. The more running around and physical activity he receives the more oxygen will get into his brain..the easier for him to think and make better decissions and the more he willbe worn out...He won't have the energy to get into trouble.

You are driving yourself nutz for no reason.

Take him out ..right now..and go run around the park!

Answer 10

Have you changed his diet? Preservatives, colours, flavours as well as natural chemicals in foods can effect behaviour and learning. This is a good website www.fedup.com.au - yes it is hard at first but it does work.