I have a 11 yr old daughter. She just started middle school. She's a 6th grader. She's had detention since her first week of school. Her problem is that she talkes too much in class and does not do her homework. I've punished her in different ways and she seems not to care. I get calls from her teacher at least twice a week of how she dosen't take school serious. Anybody know what I can do to get her straighten out? I have 2 other sons and I have no problem with them. Sometimes I feel I'm not being a good parent.
2006-10-19 08:40:12 · 18 answers · asked by yo_010180 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I had the same problem when I was a kid. i was being teased and it made it difficult for me to concentrate on school. Ask her what is bothering her. Better yet, take her to a counsler, she is more likley to open up to them because she will think you dont understand her. also get involved with her school. Act intrested in what she is doing and become active with it. Help with homework and help her study. I wish my parents did that.
2006-10-19 08:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by Prissy_kitty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who is she talking to? Why hasn't the teacher taken the initiative to move her to a different part of the classroom? If she's yelling across the room, then you've failed in discipline somewhere. She should know better by 11 years old on how to behave. If she's talking to herself, then you have bigger issues on your hands.
Do you have to take off work to come pick her up? Does the school provide an after-school program? If so, shame her by placing her in the afterschool program - Normally only the younger students are in this program, children that are too young to be home alone or cannot be trusted at home alone. Leave her there until you get off work to come pick her up. Even if you don't work, send her to afterschool til the other parent gets home.
2006-10-19 15:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you may what to have a conversation with your daughters physician. I was having all the same issues with my 9 year old son who is in the 4th grade this year...they diagnosed him with ADHD, gave him medication, and he's a totally different kid. Also, there is a disorder called ODD, which is oppositional defiant disorder. I'd seek medical help if I were you! It's definately NOT a reflection on your parenting skills.....help your daughter as much as you possibley can...also, a visual rewards system has worked well for me. We made a calander...for every day he does not get in trouble and does his school work, he gets a star on his calander..at the end of the week, with 4 or more stars...he gets a reward. (which is determined at the beginning of the week so he knows what his goal is)....these must be short term goals...as the long term seems to children to be out of reach and the give up very easily....hope this helps!
2006-10-19 15:48:36 · answer #3 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like she's immature and is not only not taking school seriously, but she's not taking you seriously. If she honestly thinks that you feel school is important she will straiten up, but I wonder if she just thinks you are harping on her because of your parental duties. If she's talking to much in class, she's got to be talking to someone split them up! Threaten her with embarrassment. That's a great tool at her age. Spend a day in her class sitting behind her, shake hands with all her friends let them know why you are there! This is going to embarrass the snot out of her! Know she knows your serious! Now you have a tool in your box you can always pull out and use "Do you need me to come and sit in your class again?
2006-10-19 15:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by brandon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey dont blame your self... thats the most important thing... try talking to her .. if she refuses to talk at first assure her that you love her and are willing to listen to her whenever she wants to talk.. find out if you can from her friends if she is facing any problems at school like a class bully.. or even problems at home that might be causing her turmoil...try to look into these and resolve them....and something thta most parents are unwilling to consider is learning disabilities... try and see if she has trouble at school with studies like dyslexia etc...usually positive reinforcement works better than punishment.. try to catch her studying.. or behaving well in school.. and reward that .. try and understand your childs needs and you will have improve ment... all the best! your concern for your daughter is evidence of your love.. so dont worry about not being a good parent
2006-10-19 15:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by The phoenix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this worked for me, although, my daughter was a bit older. Punish her, yes punish her, by placing her most prized possession in your care for a time. If she enjoys video games, take hers away, for a while, until you see improvement, If the video games doesn't work, then take another favorite thing. Maybe refusing to buy new clothes....whatever she enjoys. Then tell her that when you see improvement, you can start returning SOME of her favorite things.
2006-10-19 15:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by violet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work in the Public School system and I know that most schools will allow parents to come and sit in class with the students. this may work, but if it doesn't you will face bigger problems when she gets into HS like missing class and not turning in assignments. You need to find her soft spot and push her from there. Homework time equals computer time or TV time is a good method that works for most students.
try here as well http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/discipline.html
2006-10-19 15:47:54 · answer #7 · answered by jaysangman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As controversial as some people consider it, she may have A.D.D. or A.D.H.D. I was diagnosed with it when I was around that age, and I was always screwing off in class...not paying attention etc. I was put on Ritalin and it actually worked quite well. I know some people are convinced that there are all kinds of problems with this course of treatment (and most of those people lack medical degrees), but you need to do what works for your daughter. You may want to see a doctor to see what he/she may recommend.
2006-10-19 15:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she child number 3 if so she may feel she is competing with her brother's . If so sometimes rather than risk failure they don't bother and become totally rebellious. You will have to encourage and praise every little effort. At the same time keep telling her how important it in life to have an education.
2006-10-19 15:47:39 · answer #9 · answered by cr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must do what it takes to get her attention. Have you talked this thing through with her?
You can take away more and more privileges and you can give her more and more housework. You can reward behavior that heads toward the goals you are seeking.
Or, perhaps you can get help from a family member.
2006-10-19 17:22:40 · answer #10 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋