My 11 year old son talks about everything to me, except his little girlfriend. He totally clams up about that. I know its normal, to some respect, but I'm wondering what I can do to let him know he can talk to me if he wants. I don't nag him or anything, but I do like to know who he surrounds himself with. Any advice?
2006-10-19 08:33:18 · 14 answers · asked by Shelley L 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I'm throwing a Halloween party for the kids and I told him he could invite her, if he wanted (this is when he clammed up). We'll see if he asks her or not, I guess.
2006-10-19 08:42:25 · update #1
relax.... its normal for boys that age to have girlfriends. think about when you were that young. I'm sure you have a crush. Just give him his space and let him know that's its alright. You don't have to embarrass him about the sex topic hes only 11. just let him know that's its OK. You could even make up a story and tell him that you had a boyfriend/girlfriend ( don't know if your a guy or girl..lol) chance are that he will see that's its OK and open up. The space that you give him now will pay off when he opens up to you in the future. Most important thing...DON'T EMBARRASS HIM!!!
2006-10-19 09:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by sreno0207 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 12 year-old and he has been having a girlfriend since he was 5 let him tell it. I shared some experiences. I explained to him about emotions because that age I didn't want him to become depressed when they broke up two weeks later. I explained that he has his whole life to live and everyday he will learn something new about people in general. I didn't hound him, I had already spoken to him about sex, and from experience I told him I understood peer pressure, I had him when I was 14. But just listen, don't bash. And just teach him early how to treat a young lady. I told him since he found a young girl he like, carry her books sometimes, just taught him how to be a gentleman,
2006-10-19 09:26:22 · answer #2 · answered by trice_ward 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! It's all right. Your son just doesn't feel comfortable talking about her because he's probably afraid you might reject her. Take it slow. With the whole party thing, he will ask her. I'm pretty sure about it. Although, they might have broken up, so he doesn't want to talk about it. In time, he'll get better and may talk more freely to you about her or any other girlfriends. I say, don't sweat it.
2006-10-19 09:10:36 · answer #3 · answered by Yolanda F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really there yet with my kids, but with the neighbor boys and my husband's friend's kids.....
I find something/anything I can compliment about her. Usually they are embarrassed or hypersensitive to you being critical. Be relaxed, easy, don't nag, and make sure not to say anything that they can take the wrong way...that's the tough part. Good Luck!
2006-10-19 08:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jupiter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, parents talking to their kids about dating is probably up there on the number ten most embarrasing list. No one wants to talk about a thing like that. But it has to happen eventually, just try to ask him subtly, don't corner him or he'll think that you're trying to horn in on his personal space. He's eleven, and a boy. It's gonna be hard getting him to talk to you. Just ask him questions like what did you do in school today? If he answers something like: We did blablabla in pairs. Ask him who his partner was. If he answers his girlfriend, say Was it fun? After he answers that, don't ask any more questions about her. Know if they're having fun together by asking questions like that. In your question you called her his"little girlfriend." Remember, he's not all that little anymore. He's growing up, so try no to baby him.
2006-10-19 09:59:47 · answer #5 · answered by dillobrillo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U jst have to b there for your son wens he is ready to tell u everything he will just open up jst make sure that u are ready to be there for him ok!!!
The worst and biggest mistake a parent can do is nag at their child so you are doin the right thing!
2006-10-19 08:36:02 · answer #6 · answered by Hazel t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say something once like "you know if you ever want to talk to me about your girlfriend or anything else i am always here for you right?" That way he knows for sure everything is cool between you two and he can talk to you when he is ready. Then drop it, you don't want to be annyoing about it or he will shut down and not want to talk to you about anything.
2006-10-19 08:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
11 is a bit young to have a girlfriend. just put it out there that you are available and interested in learning about who the 'woman' is that he is interested in when HE is ready to talk. it may require an exercise in futility on your part, he WILL come to you. it will lead to another open line of communication on girls and dating. DO talk to him about sex, make sure he knows abstinence is the best. when you talk to kids that young about sex, they get grossed out. but it makes them realize that dating and having a girlfriend is a serious matter. again, opening the door to communication when he is ready. just teach your son to make good decisions and he will come to you.
2006-10-19 08:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by deathwishpussy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello!!!! What kind of parent are you??? Why in the world would you allow your 11 your old boy to have a girlfriend. He is way too young! I would ground my son until he was 18 and out of my house if he had a girlfriend at that age. My sons will not be allowed to date or group date until they are 16. You are just asking for trouble if you allow him to have a girlfriend at that age. I have only 1 word for you: GRANDMA.
2006-10-19 11:23:33 · answer #9 · answered by LITTLE 1 :o) 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Start off small. If you have met her then tell him one thing you like about her and asked him one thing he likes about her. Or after you tell him what you like ask him if he likes that about her too. This might open him up for conversation. If you haven't met her then tell him she should come over for dinner.
He's probably just a little embarassed right now.
2006-10-19 08:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋