I don't love him anymore, but he still loves me. He's a great guy and doesn't deserve to be treated badly, but I don't want to be in a relationship with someone I don't love. He tends to be a bit emotional, clingy and paranoid. He lives down the hallway from me. How can I do this without it turning nasty?
2006-10-19 08:30:31 · 31 answers · asked by femion 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there is no way. thats like asking if a broken heart really hurts.
2006-10-19 08:32:20 · answer #1 · answered by marie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunatley when one person feels a spark the other person always doesnt. And thats totally okay, its human nature.
The best time to discuss the situation is alone. Doing it in person is key. Ending it with a phone call will make him feel incomplete and more emotional. And since he lives down the hall from you a phone call would be extremley immature since you will be seeing him often after you arent together. Tell him how you feel. Say "You know, +Josh+ (or whatever his name is), you are a cool guy and all but I just dont think that we blend well together as a couple. Id love to be friends with you still ((Only say that if you mean it though!!)) and hangout but Id prefer it if we'd see other people." Be totally sweet and casual. Dont morph into biotch mode and get defensive if he starts to ask you questions. Answer them. It will help with closure in the relationship and will avoid any future issues between you two. He may become emotional. Its okay. Let him cry if it helps him. Tell him you understand he is upset but that he will be fine and everything will work out for the best. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!
In the future, say HI in the hall and flash a smile. That will keep the whole thing civilized and avoid drama.
Goodluck.
2006-10-19 15:45:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There isn't a kind way to dump someone -- emotions will still hurt, you will be missed, etc. However, there's a decency level to it.
You need to sit your boyfriend down and talk to him about what you're feeling about the relationship. Whatever greviences you have about it, this would be the time to air them. Also, express your concerns about your proximity of living arrangements. Tell him what you think would be best for your post-relationship lives, but also encourage him to give you some imput. Listen to what he says, and, if it seems rational, take it into account.
The tricky part will be the whole dating new people thing. You should consider whether or not you want any new boyfriends coming to your place for a while after. However, don't lie about what you're doing -- if your current boyfriend asks, tell him honestly. The entire purpose of keeping any new prospects from running into your ex is to prevent uncomfortable situations... sometimes just seeing someone with someone new is enough to set somebody off, even if they already know about things.
Hope things work out, hope it isn't too uncomfortable.
2006-10-19 15:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by Andrew Jesse Brown 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him how you feel strieght out and if he really does love you he will respect you, but you should never hide how you feel.It does sound lkie you are afriend of him,which means you need to move out of that building before something but does happens .When you do tell him how you feel have some people around so you have a way out .Also make it arule not to date someone in the same building or work place because it is hard to pass by that person everyday know what i mean
2006-10-19 15:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by vannzannt20002000 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lots of bad scenes there kid. Living so close is a bad thing. Paranoid is a bad thing, clingy is bad too. I think your only way out is to be frank and honest. Tell him your not romatically interested in him but do like him as an aquaintance, (if you do, that is). He may have hurt feelings and he may get mad but if you don't like him you don't like him. If it gets nasty then just do your best to ignore him till things cool down. Above all, don't encourage him or mislead him.
2006-10-19 15:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by plitsmay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have no control over his reaction...only your behavior...simply tell him that it's just not working for you anymore and although you care about him (or however you feel), you do not want to date or be in a romantic relationship with him any longer.
Anything you say is likely to hurt on some level...but do put it as gently as possible, and don't place blame. If he gets angry or hurt, express your sorrow at his pain, but don't let him antagonize you or turn it into a fight. Just wish him the best, and walk away.
2006-10-19 15:35:53 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just say. Sorry dude but I don't think this relationship isn't going to work anymore. Just be straight forward with him. I hated breaking up with people but you have to do it. Tell him that you thought you wanted to be in a serious relationship but your second guessing it and you want time to yourself to figure this out. Then ask him if you two can still remain friends. Then try to avoid him until you get over it. Good luck!
2006-10-19 15:35:00 · answer #7 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a dip of Skoal and when he goes to kiss you next time let him and I bet you don't have to worry about him anymore. LMAO, OK Now I am serious, Tell him that you do not feel for him what you once did and you don't want to drag this out any longer. It is straight and to the point in a nice sort of way. Good luck.
2006-10-19 15:37:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would sit him down, and speak your mind. Tell him he deserves to be in a relationship with someone who cares as much for him as he does he. You just don't feel like you once did about him. He is a great guy, and that's why you had to tell him. It would only hurt more in the long run, so it's best to tell him now.
2006-10-19 15:35:41 · answer #9 · answered by shondak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately there is NO way to do it nicely. But there are ways to do it cleanly and neatly, namely just telling him outright that you no longer feel the same way and you want to go your own ways (with or without remaining friends).
Under the circumstances, it sounds to me like he is emotionally insecure and immature and is likely to take it hard. You will need to avoid all contact with him after the break, and if he starts harassing you, you may need to consider legal action or even moving out of the building.
Such are the hazards of having a romantic relationship.
2006-10-19 15:34:24 · answer #10 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF you live close to the guy. I would wait till he gets out of line, (emotional, clingy, paranoid) Then sit him down, or Scream him down, that you aren't into the relationship as you need to be. We need to be friends for awhile...Blah blah blah...It won't be easy, cause you will prolly see him ALOT. Otherwise... like the others have said. There isn't aynthing easy about it. Be blunt and to the point.
2006-10-19 15:40:03 · answer #11 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋