Since he and our daughter are divorced, we aren't privy to his consultations with his oncologist and they only tell us what they hear and they are telling us it is endocarcinoma. I can't find that on the internet. Is this a cancer and since he has only a few weeks to live he wants the children, ages 8 and 11 to be with him until the end. We worry about how the disease will progress and whether the kids should be around to see terrible suffering or worse outbursts of rage from the pain. Can I get some insight as to what is about to happen. It has spread throughout his organs and into his brain but as of today he says he has no outward symtoms. His doctors says it probably started in his pancreas of liver.
2006-10-19 08:22:10 · 10 answers · asked by William A 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
Don't give up hope, unless he has.
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2006-10-20 01:33:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could not find any useful references to endocarcinoma but it could be adenocarcinoma. Your description certainly fits with that type of carcinoma. A carcinoma is a cancer, yes. It sounds like in this case it has metastased to point where treatment is palliative, meaning just to make him as comfortable as possible. For getting more information, I can only suggest you call one of the cancer helplines. I am sure there is one in your area, and they can at least give you some advice based upon what little you know and can tell them.
In situations where the brain is affected, it is very difficult to say how the symptoms will present themselves, but yes, it is possible that he will have changes in behaviour and possibly changes also in how he perceives things. Again, it is far better for you to talk to people who deal with these things and who can advise you honestly about what to expect.
As or the children seeing their father, I think that is a matter of personal judgement and it will depend on how he is on any given day and at any time of the day. But it is far better for the children to see that their Dad than not see him at all. Providing you get good advice and counselling support (which can always be arranged in cases like this), the children will benefit far more from seeing him than from being left in the dark, so to speak. There is so very little time, and when they are older they will treasure the memories of when he was well enough to hold them and talk to them, and even though there may be some bad moments they will look back with love and understanding -- and not just on him, but also with love and gratefulness to their Mom and to you for helping them through -- and for giving him those precious moments too.
Peace,
Lenky
2006-10-19 08:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by Lenky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want to deny the man anything reasonable and having this time with his kids seems very reasonable indeed. They will still be in contact with you or their mum anyway so I don't see how you could even consider denying his request based only on what you think may happen but has not.
Surely this must be a time for sympathy and support and the benefit of the doubt. You worry the kids may be upset but the man is losing his kids and his life. Who is in greater need?
You and your daughter will have a lifetime exclusively with the kids after he has gone, surely you can find it in your heart not to try to make him fight in the terrible position he is in.
How would you feel if it was you?
And how will the kids feel in future if they didn't get this time to say goodbye to their dad.
2006-10-19 08:35:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry on your loss. It must be a negative feeling to lose a newborn, i will't even initiate to imagine the discomfort you're feeling. i imagine out of those 3, As I Lay Me Down is the ultimate determination. Ut is about lack of existence, and being so close that lack of existence is not any impediment. i'd not recommend the different 2 though. different songs that are strong are: a million. One sweet Day - Mariah Carey/Boyz 2 adult men. 2. You advance Me Up - Westlife. 3. Tears in Heaven - Eric Clapton.
2016-10-16 05:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should check out or call the American Cancer Society. I would think that your daughter would want to know truthfully, the severity of the father of her childrens condition. Would he let her go to an apt and hear for herself the diagnosis and prognosis? You should be concerned. There are side effects to therapy and emotional state. I would try to get the information first-hand, then go from there. There are social workers that can help. Good luck, and god bless.
2006-10-19 08:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by Summerbead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of it and couldn't find anything through the reliable websites, either. If it has spread, then he has to be symptomatic.....especially to his organs and his brain. He'll probably be in a coma soon. I think the mother should go in first and if he is really bad off.....then don't bring the kids in. She needs to protect them. I am glad I didn't see my father in the hospital when he was dying of cancer. I wouldn't want that to be my last memory of him
2006-10-19 08:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him his time with the children. Why wuld you deprive him or them of that? It will certainly do them no harm every one has to learn about death and dying at some point, and
they will probalby treasure the time they had with him in his last days, and would eternally resent their mother or you or whoever if they were not allowed to be near him at this dark time. the progrssion of the idsease is no more your business than he wants to share, I am not sure of your relationship with this man, but whatever underlying problems there are you need to look past them. terminal cancer is terminal cancer. the details don;t really matter at this point, do they?
2006-10-19 08:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by Honey pot 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
20% of all cancer have no know primary site. My mother was one of them.
Call your doctor and ask him to refer you to oncologist who specialty in that type of cancer who can give you general information regarding the progression of that cancer. Again, it will be general but it might help. Good luck
2006-10-22 21:24:14 · answer #8 · answered by wild4gypsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not deprive the man or his children of spending every moment together that they can . maybe now is the time for everyone to come together and do whats right , irregardless of the divorce. treat him as you would want to be treated ..................
2006-10-19 16:54:04 · answer #9 · answered by sindi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God Bless you and your family. I will keep everyone in my prayers.....
2006-10-19 08:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by roxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋