My wife and I have been having marriage problems for sometime.
I am a good husband and all but we just do not have any passion for each other anymore...I want to take this big job offer which is something I want to do. My pay will go from 120k to about $450k yr. But its a big change and wife is "NOT" willing to move. I married her for life but she is putting me in a corner over this. I would not leave her just because the sex went bad..Its through good times and bad...The choice I can choose Mexborgn, Austrialia or Naples, Florida I chose Florida I guess?? I am going to choose one whether she wants it or not......my question is this should I divorce her if she does not move with me?????
I am a good husband and all but we just do not have any passion for each other anymore...I want to take this big job offer which is something I want to do. My pay will triple every year 120k verses $450k yr. But its a big change and wife is not willing to go. I married her for life but she is
2006-10-19 08:10:07 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
stay where you are with her...dont use the job as an excuse...do you love her? then stay....she is making a mistake in my opin but she cant be forced...she sounds nuts to me...
2006-10-19 08:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
First of all I find it hard to believe such a successful businessman is on Y! Answers. But putting that aside. You said a couple times what a good husband you were. Well if you were so great, then why doesn't she have a passion for you anymore? Do you think she misplaced it? Lost it, like and earring? No, it's something that you gradually loose. Maybe it's because you're not as great a husband as you'd like to think. You also mentioned you married her for good or bad...and wouldn't leave because the sex had gotten bad. But you WOULD leave her to make more money.
The thing is...if this is true...you're looking for a reason, and you want to come out shinny and clean from this mess. Well that isn't going to happen. The fact is if you are going to leave her and get a divorce over the potential to earn more money then the relationship was over long ago.
If you seriously don't want to ruin this marriage then you won't take the job, you'll spend more time at home and look into couples counseling. You failed to mention if you have children, I hope that wasn't an oversight.
2006-10-19 08:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Stephie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you've been married for awhile, what may feel like a lack of passion may just be a pause, not a lack. Before you divorce your wife I think you two should seek some marriage counseling. Even if you decide to take the big money job and separate for awhile, I think you two need to make a serious effort to work on the marriage while you're separated and under NO circumstance should either of you start dating others. Bringing a 3rd party into the situation will only complicate things for all.
2006-10-19 08:19:34 · answer #3 · answered by P. C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A big alteration in sex life is indicative of much, much deeper issues, whether people want to admit it or not. Everyone has a cowl of 'LOVE FOREVER OMGEEZ' cast over their eyes, blindsighting themselves to the harshness of reality and conflict. It's obvious you care for the woman, and that can be the foundation for a wonderful friendship in the future... as to whether that friendship is in conjunction with being 'man and wife'...
Would you be willing to suffer the extreme pains of a permanent long distance relationship; of your already distanced lives rifting irreparably? Would she? Maybe for a week, or a month, or a year, but forever? Nada. She may be using her stubborness as a smokescreen for just ending things outright. I suggest sitting her down, and explaining the passion's gone, your needs aren't being met, and commitment goes both ways... if she isn't willing to work with you to bring the passion back, and be your wife *by your side* then you're married in nothing more than name.
Best of luck to you.
PS; off topic, but Australia or Naples sound like they could be a blast.
2006-10-19 08:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by Leena Rosen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead and take the job and when you get settled in and you haven't recieved any divorce papers call her up and tell her that you have a place and you will be there to get her and the rest of the stuff the weekend. Just go from there and see what she tells you then, if she says no then ask her if she wants a divorce. Good luck.
2006-10-19 08:16:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you have already made up your mind, but still feel guilty about it. Is that marriage salvable? Are there children? She must not be happy if she is not supporting you and this oppurtunity. If there is no time crunch on the decision, try counseling as a last ditch effort. Maybe she will come with you. If you are going to divorce her, you should do it before you start making $450,000 a year that's for sure. Alimony.
2006-10-19 08:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Tara P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do what you got to do I guess. If you've already made up your mind, then go. But I will point out that you should try marriage counseling if you actually want to make this marriage work. And overall, it sounds to me like you and your wife both do a lot of talking, but not to each other, and neither one of you is listening to the other........ So, if this is one oppourtunity you don't want miss, and these are the priorities you want out of life, then go for it.
2006-10-19 08:19:00 · answer #7 · answered by Yahoo! Answers Chic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes and no theres 3 options you could look at ,if you decide to take this offer and leave,
and you or her file for divorce she gets a weekly
settlement based on the 450k yearly salary you earn,or you could divorce her now ,wait for a similar opening somewhere
else and settle your alimony at 120kyearly salary,or just stay
with her and be misrable....
2006-10-19 08:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by tomtoride 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk it over, tell her you are taking this job no ifs ands or buts about it, and either she will come with you and support you on it or she will choose not too, and then you have your answer. if you are truly a great husband than you should have no problem finding love again.
2006-10-19 08:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
450K/yr will get you a newer more improved model wife. Tell her your getting a pay cut though, so she doesn't get a free ride from your hard work!
2006-10-19 08:15:57 · answer #10 · answered by ©ubs Fan™ 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Put the house up for sale and go. She might change her mind, because where you live now is a "comfort zone" for her.
2006-10-19 08:20:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋