This is in no way my husband's fault...lemme just get that out of the way.
Ok 5 years ago my husband got into a BIG physical fight with my best friends boyfriend after the bf pushed her over a desk a day after she had cancer surgery. It lead to the other man trying to pull a gun and a ton of drama. I was terrified of him fighting after that.
Since then there have been other times when he has fought. (Not ever his fault but hes a kinda big guy so it is a challenge for other men) Its always bad..and I always have a mental breakdown afterwards. I was in a halfway house for 5 days last October because he was a security guard at a haunted house and he had a knife pulled on him and got into a huge fight.
It is to the point now where I can't really go anywhere crowded with him...or anywhere I feel unsafe which includes family functions at times. It is not fair to him, me , or our 1 yr old. I want and need to overcome this. Please give me suggestions to overcome this or your story.
2006-10-19 08:02:50 · 5 answers · asked by })i({ J and D's Momma })i({ 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Oh and I went to the pysciatrist today for it and asked about meds and she wouldn't even consider it and told me all she is going to do is give hubby and I counceling...which is good I am sure but I need more! Sitting in an office 1 time a week for an hour talking it out won't fix it anytime soon. I am seeing another Dr. ASAP but in the mean time I need to be able to get thru life with some sort of normal life. Thank you so much!
2006-10-19 08:05:49 · update #1
Sorry to keep adding...but I guess I want to explain how bad it really is. I am afraid of stuff like driving and him getting in a fight because we accidently cut someone off. And if anyone in our life is mad at him/us I am afraid that they will come to our home and hurt us. I live every minute of my life in fear. It keeps me from making friends and having normal relationships with people...I hate it...and desperatly want to fix it...I am crying now because it is hard to talk about.
2006-10-19 08:08:48 · update #2
A mental halfway house that you sign into and can't leave until you are feeling better and are ready to stay in the real world again. And I was there because he had to keep working and life had to go on....and I couldn't handle it alone.
2006-10-19 08:20:11 · update #3
Another note: neither my hubby or I drink or do any street drugs of any kind. And my huby does not ever start a fight but isn't going to walk away from someone else getting hurt...as in my best friend or the people at the haunted house...
2006-10-19 09:33:33 · update #4
Sure there are !
Mine is from combat and thats all I'll say about that.It's normal to not want to be around people
Or trust them or to want to think the whole worlds going to crumble apart.Find you some wisdom woman to hang out with
and it will make it easier but not better!
2006-10-19 08:13:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your husband is that big then he has absolutely nothing to prove and should be able to simply walk away. If he cannot then he is the one with the main problem and if he cares about you and your child he will want to reassure you not leave you in a state of constant dread. Probably not what you want to hear and I am not unsympathetic but the solution, no matter how bad it seems now, is not medication, drugs of any kind including alcohol, because when the affects waer off the problem is still there, ask any person who is addicted, they will tell you. The psych is right, talking therapy involving you both is the only long-term solution and if either of you are on tranquilisers or any other form of mood stabilisers it won't work. I have worked with people in your husbands position, and yours, for years so you can trust me when I say that if you both work at it you can resolve your problems and he can learn to be as big emotionally as he is physically. Good Luck to you both, you can do it
2006-10-19 08:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by Samuel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How on earth is it "not ever his fault"?? Normal, healthy people do not repeatedly get in to physical fights.
This sounds like his problem to work on, not yours. (But how did you end up in a 'halfway house'? What do you mean by halfway house, here?)
You shouldn't be medicated because your husband is a brawler. And no, it isn't fair to you, and it's miserable to your child.
2006-10-19 08:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get fear of my teeth getting knocked out. I feel sorry for your situation. I wish I could help.
2006-10-19 08:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably need to go through EMDR therapy..... it is specifically for PTSD...... google it and you'll get tons of info.....
2006-10-19 08:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by myheartisjames 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋