How can I get along w/ my brother? Okay- I'm 27 yrs old. I have 2 younger brothers- 1 is 24 N the other is

Question

18. I try 2 B there for both, even 2 this day where I am now married N live farther away. I give them gifts on every holiday N birthday, N I never expect N E thing in return. I give them $ when they need it, N get them out of trouble N E sumtimes. I'm very close 2 both, esp. w/ "18". I used 2 B close w/ "24", but we grew apart over the last few years, as I grew even closer 2 18.

It's been about 8 years since I've lost the bond w/ 24, N have been trying 2 get it back. It all started when he started doing drugs, N he already has a bad temper as. At first I tried 2 help him, hang out w/ him, N let him know that I can show him a better environment w/o the drugs. It didn't help- N he would start fights with me. He would hit me, pull a knife out on me, pushed me on our stairs, 4 no reason- but I knew it was from the drugs. And I understood, B cuz I love him. He sees how close I am 2 18, N it hurts, cuz I wish it was the same w/ him. But it's hard to 4 get the fights.

I've already tried to sit and talk with him, and he's already stopped doing drugs. But there is still tension, and it's hard for me to talk to him.

Answer 1

One of the reasons its hard for older siblings is because the younger brothers often look to you as a parent-figure. So when they want to rebel, the often rebel against you.

It sounds like the middle brother is working through a hard phase. It's nothing you're doing because you're still able to have a good relationship with the youngest brother. As hard as it is, you have to realize that it's NOT all up to you. Half is up to this middle brother and it doesn't sound like he's willing to meet you halfway.

Since you can't force "behaving like an adult" on anyone, you might just have to wait middle-brother out. Until he stops his destructive behavior, he isn't going to have a healthy relationship with ANYone - even you :(

p.s. I just read your update. I think in time you'll grow to be close again. Some wounds just need to heal for a while. My sister did drugs as a teen and I never imagined she'd be close to my parents again. But over time, their trust grew and now things are fine.

Good luck!

Answer 2

It would be hard to forget a brother doing you so wrong. I hoped he has changed for the better. It sounds like you care a lot for your brothers-even to the point of spoiling them! I hope in time that all three of you will be close to each other again. Drugs can ruin relationships! Tell your brother that is 24 that you love him and will try your best to have a better relationship with him if he is willing to do his part! A simple act of caring may give him the strength he needs to stay off the drugs!

Answer 3

my brother was also on drugs for about 2 yrs and it ruined our relationship at that time .. we are 4 yrs apart and i am older neways i would cry just thinking about how much he was wasting his life.
He was always the straight a kid and i was actually the bad girl but when he started using it was scary he tried to beat up my mom for money he would steal from me and it was very hurtful but he has now been clean for 5 yrs and we have our relationship back .. i had to let go of all the bad things he did and realize it was the drugs not him .. but you probably wont get the relationship back until he is sober ... sorry you have to go through this ..try and help him but he is an adult and has to clean up on his own you can't put yourself in danger

Answer 4

I have the exact same problem with my brother. Although we are both adults he decided to never grow up. He is on drugs and says that he likes drugs so he won't be quitting. He is 27 years old and has 4 kids. He does not work or take care of them. He has violent mood swings. Because of the mood swings he is impossible to be around. My sister and I both keep our distance from him. We have tried and tried to 'get along' with him for our parents sake. However, it is impossible because of his violent mood swings. Therefore my sister and I stay away from him. We finally understand that this isn't something that either of us can help because he will not admit that there is a problem. so, until he is able to admit that he has a problem and take steps to better himself we will continue to distance ourselves from him. There is nothing more to do. At this point he is not our brother, he is a drug addicts. Drug addicts do not care about anyone except themselves. It's sad. But, what else can you do?

Answer 5

You can reach out to help, but you also must have some limitations to protect your own dignity.
You must always stand firm on your morals and values.
It is the right thing to help someone in need, but when it becomes abusive, you must learn to let go and let God.
Do not allow a hostage situation to continue.
You have a right to happiness just like he does.
The first thing that must be addressed is he needs to take the first step and get some help.
Your moral support and love is what he will need.
Helping someone to continue a dangerous lifestyle really is not help.
Good Luck

Answer 6

I think family counseling might help. You need to find out if he's still using and then learn to practice new communication styles with each other. Above all, you must forgive each other and put the past behind you. If he's clean, just forget the past as if it were another person!

Answer 7

You need to get him into rehab. You're not gonna be able to get close with him again until he realizes what he's doin and he won't until he gets help. You will get closer to him if you can get him into rehab and show him that you are there to help him through it so he can have a better life. GOod luck.

Answer 8

Tell him to get into a rehab progam and you'll be happy to hang out with him again.

Answer 9

i thibnk maybe he kneeds to go to rehab because drugs are not easy to get off of and they make u become a person that u r not

Answer 10

im sorry to tell u that but because he on drugs it dangerous to get closer to him