He says I am the girl of his dreams. I am his first 'love' and he has made this big deal about how he has waited for the right girl, and how I'm 'the one'. I know I should be so happy that I have this wonderful guy care so much about me, so why does it make me feel wierd everytime he tells me he loves me, or something like that? I want to love him back... I want to feel completly comfortable with this, so why don't I?!?!
2006-10-19 07:11:10 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We are both 16
2006-10-19 07:16:46 · update #1
maybe it is just to fast for you to handle at this point.
you have a lot to risk; with you two being good friends and all.
just take your time. don't feel obligated to say i love you back just cause he said it. if that makes him feel like a problem then that is his problem not yours.
when you are ready say it, until then play it cool :)
2006-10-19 07:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be the girl of his dreams; unfortunately, he's not the man of your dreams. The dilema lies in the following; the relationship has now changed forever. There is no doubt that this person is very special in your life, and you and he have shared so much in the time you've been friends. Unfortunately, while he was building a castle around you, and the hope that eventually everything would fall his way, you were caught in the crosshairs like a deer staring at the coming headlights. You didn't see it coming.....although I'm certain that if yousit down and really think about it, the signs were there all along. The other dilema you have to deal with is the fact that this IS you best friend, and that is not something you can say about everybody you meet.....and it's something you would hate to lose. Once again....Unfortunately, the friendship is now forever tainted, because who you see as a great, fun, open, honest, and faithful friend, sees you as something completely different. Let's just say that you are both victims of circumstance.....it's no one's fault. At the same time, something has to be done in order for you two to have a clear understanding that this friendship has run it's course. He will not stop feeling what he is feeling, and eventually will want to take the relationship to another level....and in the end you will both be very hurt. So.....please be honest with him, even if you don't want to jeopardize your friendship with him. This is not a time for you to be selfish (and I don't mean it in a bad way) and think about only your feelings, take his feelings into consideration. If you continue this friendship the way it's going, you will eventually break his heart to no end......and if he's your friend you wouldn't want that to happen to him.
I'm sorry I don't have a more optimistic view regarding the friendship......but I lived through a very similar situation, and I'm glad I did the right things when I did.....it saved a lot of heartache in the end.
Best of luck with your decision!
2006-10-19 07:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by Ralph 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't feel comfortable with the "love" thing because your mind set was already comfortable with being best friends. The idea of pursuing a romantic relationship scares you a little bit and it will take time to adjust to a new level. If you don't have feelings for him, then you should be honest with him and try to avoid awkwardness. Talk with him in an attempt to spare the friendship that you had. Unfortunately, it may always be weird between you two if he still loves you and you don't feel the same way. Whatever you do, don't lead him in the wrong way. Nothing would be more devastating then for you to falsely tease him into believing something was going to delvelop.
2006-10-19 07:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by jazzyfresh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make yourself feel something your not ready to feel. Just be careful if you are not sure. Don't push him away and just see where things take you. Try going out on a date and don't look at him as a friend. It is great that you are best friends. Something to think about... Would you want to marry someone like him? Does he make you laugh? Is he attractive to you? Is he successful? Does he treat you well? If the answers are all yes's.. What are you waiting for? If you don't act n what could be the best thing ever you may really kick yourself later for not giving it a shot. If it doesn't work out it and you are really best friends then things will work themselves out. It may seem weird at 1st but just ask him to be patient. Keep being honest with him about your feelings. Best wishes for you both.
2006-10-19 07:19:32 · answer #4 · answered by Acid Burn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he knows that you're uncomfortable. Clearly, he has been a good friend to you, and sometimes the transition from friend to more than friend is a little messy. If you really think this guy is a good match for you, why don't you try sticking around and see if you begin to feel differently? Above all, make sure he knows how you feel now, and how you'd like to feel, but that perhaps you need a bit more time. If he really cares about you, he'll wait until you're ready.
" O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely."
2006-10-19 07:18:21 · answer #5 · answered by lovesaidgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation but that kind of thing happens more than you think.
Open your "feelings," your heart and give him a chance but let him know (if you are willing to take a chance) that you might NOT feel the same way about him in the end. Love is wonderful but also means taking a risk.
Good luck to you!
2006-10-19 07:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know like I know, you'll hold on to him and NEVER let go. Let me tell you a story. About 12 years ago I had a male friend who was my very best friend. He was closer to me than any of my girlfriends. This was about two years after I got divorced and we did everything together. I don't think I realized at the time how supportive, and significant he was in my life. He adored me and kept telling me how much he loved me and I kept telling him "naw. .w'ere friends I don't want to ruin the friendship." But the truth of the matter was I wasn't attracted to him in that way (he was kinda on the skinny side). I always had a pattern of having the handsome but worthless types. .who thought more about themselves than me. Now, years later, I've never gotten remarried just decided to wait on God to send me the right man. . and guess who I ran into a year ago and am now engaged to? YEAP my best friend. And it's like we didn't miss a beat, he still adores me, treats me like a queen and see as you get older. .what I've learned -- I know what I don't want cause I've had plenty of it - - now I have someone who puts me first, someone who is my friend, and we can talk about anything and everything . . and communication is essential. . and I feel totally blessed I'm marrying my best friend, he's a sweetie - and I wish I knew THEN what I know now!
2006-10-19 07:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by Cris 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's probably because you don't want to lose his friendship. It doesn't mean that you don't love him. Your love for him is that of a friend. Just be honest with him and if he continues to pursue you after you've told him your feelings then maybe you should reevaluate your friendship. If you two are best friends then he will respect your decision.
2006-10-19 07:15:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't feel the same way then don't settle for a great friendship. friendship if very important in a relationship but there has to be more in order for it to last. i think the reason you don't feel comfortable with this is because you don't feel the same way and don't know how to break it to him. the sooner you let him know the better. don't fake it.
2006-10-19 07:15:08 · answer #9 · answered by lo_zeke8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never love him i guess
be honest tell him the truth ..or that maybe u need some time ..try to have feelings for him ..maybe u really need some time that's all ..but if you don't ..tell him no ..and don't make him hopeful any further
2006-10-19 07:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by ^^ANGEL^^ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋