Please help!?

Question

Ok guys, it's like my mom died when i was 10 years old...so spent most of my childhood alone with my then 3 year old brother..dad was always at work.Now m grown up, n iam 20 years old. But i am realising that i am missing my mother more than ever..i have become very sensitive..feel alone without my mom...and really insecure also. Small things make me cry..n i just cant stand the loneliness of the night n darkness. What is wrong with me. Does this happen with everybody? or am i experiencing something that i can't figure out? Tell me pls coz it is really hard to pass evryday like this.

Answer 1

You probably didn't get to mourn your mother because you had to immediately become the responsible "mother" to your brother. So all of the feelings of sorrow, guilt, anger, and insecurity were buried, and your subconscious now feels it is "safe" to express those feelings. It may seem like irrational crying and loneliness, but it is really feelings that have been subverted and are now needing to come out. This is a very normal process, and don't feel bad or like you're going crazy. Are you thinking of becoming a parent soon yourself? This could trigger a lot of unresolved issues that you may have with her death. The way she died could have some effect on you as well. If it was sudden, like an accident, it may be harder to come to terms with.

Some things you can do to help yourself through the mourning process: Find family and friends that knew your mother and talk to them about her and her life. Look at photos, find out about her. Go to the local Hospice for grief counselling. If she died of an illness, find some volunteer work to do with people with the same thing, i.e., cancer, diabetes, etc. These activities may help you process the loss that you experienced at a young age.

I'm so sorry, This must have been devastating for you. I hope any of this has helped. Good luck, I hope things work out for you.

Answer 2

Honey i am so sorry...but also know how you feel. See when i was 11 my boyfriend hung himself. and i am so not over it. i am now 13 and really miss him alot. There are these 3 kids at school that say that i'm making it up..but there guys what do you expect. hah.sorry this is not a funny thing. n-e way i so know how you feel!! you are just missing her. alot! And don't listen to ppl who tell you to get over it b/c they don't under stand how hard it is and how bad it hurts. I have lost MANY!!! family members and it was a a young age....heck i'm still young i'm only 13. but i hope this helps. e-mail me if you need someone that understands to talk to . Also i know how you feel about the whole dad thing....i mean yea i may have both of my parents still but they don't give a s**t about me at all. So really e- mail me and i WILL! help you through this. my e-mail is [e-mail]. Alyssa

Answer 3

Losing someone you love and who is close to you is always very hard, especially at a young age. You won't ever forget your mother, but that doesn't mean you have to be sad about it. Seek counseling and talk to someone that can help sort out your thoughts. When you think about you mom, try to think about all the good times and how wonderful she was. I don't know if you're religious, but sometimes going to church helps. Keep a journal of your thoughts and fears to help you recognize certain patterns; you may be able to overcome some of these things if you can recognize what triggers them. Most of all, though, find someone you can talk to, preferably a counselor. Good luck, and my condolences.

Answer 4

Hey there,

I am in my thirties and I lost my mom 3 years ago. Gosh, its been so tough for us. About 3 weeks ago I got really depressed when the weather started to get cooler. It was my moms favorite season, and I started to miss her a lot.

With you being so young when you lost your mom, you should really talk to someone about it. There are alot of books out there that deal with young girls losing their moms (books a million, etc)

One thing we have found is that at 10 years old you really don't have the emotional skills to handle something so horrible. So, it gets stored inside until you are in your late teens, twenties until you do have the skills the deal with it. So, that is probably what is happening to you right now.

Unfortunatley, its something you are going to have to deal with and there is help out there for you!!!

I KNOW what its like to miss someone and I know how hard it is, but you are not alone!!!

Answer 5

Loss can be a hard thing and also that most children count on both parents in order for normal Psychological development. It is normal to desire her being with you on Earth, but understand she really is with you now. I think it might help if you went to church, become closer to God and get your comfort your spirits. You are in the age where you probably have a boyfriend. With the added stress of college this really can be hard. I do hope you find "love, luck and light" within your future ventures.

Answer 6

I don't know a lot about this, but I dated a young woman about your age whose Mom had died when she was 8. She did go through a period where she was shy, insecure and had a lot of panic attacks. Maybe you could speak to a counselor or something. Good luck. I know it must be hard.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

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Answer 9

i don't think your question is something can be easily answered over the internet. i believe it would be helpful for you to go see a counselor. most of the time you should be able to access a counseling center at school for free or community centers for a small fee.

take care.

Answer 10

hiiiiiii so sorry to hear that you lost your mom, i can see your pain as i lost my dad too & i was too close to him. yes at time i too cry but now i always remember the nice time i had with him & feel happy abt it. i feel my dad will never like to see me cry, so will you mom she will never like to see you cry. so cheer up. you seem to be too lonely get hooked to some good books, join some classes which interest you, chat with good frnds, keep your self busy. if still it doesn't help plz do visit a counsellor.