and we absolutely would like to have a child together, I already have a 5 year old from a previous relationship. Do I stay with him, or do I walk away now. I want another child but our chances aren't looking too good.
2006-10-19 06:59:25 · 15 answers · asked by hofers65 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not looking at the big picture. If you love him, stay with him, and adopt a child. It's not his fault that he can't have children, so don't punish him for it. Instead, stay with him and adopt a child together.
2006-10-19 07:02:24 · answer #1 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this man UNCONDITIONALLY, then you wouldnt be asking this question, right? You would be looking for a way to solve the dilema without having to leave. So apparently there are some conditions that would keep you from loving him completely. Now, just ask yourself, if it were another condition how would you react. Say if he lost a limb, or he was severely disfigured by some sort of accident, or if he slipped into severe depression and didnt come out of it for a few years. Would you stay or would you go. If for any of these questions you believe you would have to run away, then yes you should also leave now, rather than later. Don't lead the man on and hurt him because you are not ready for an all out till death do we part type relationship. If having a child born from your womb, from the man you love is important to you, and you can get past the fact that he cant provide that, I would advise that you do walk away. It has been only 8 months. Leave now, before feelings become deeper. You don't want to end up being miserable and resenting this man because you stayed with him. Things can end up really bad.
And do not take the suggestions to adopt a child if that wont make you truely happy. Your unhappiness WILL manifest in, and effect the childs life. Don't submit an innocent child to a life of added emotional difficulties and feelings of low self worth and low self esteem. Do not do that please.
You know in your heart what you want to do. Alot of people dont like to hear the truth, but if you absolutly wont be happy under the circumstances that have been presented to you, you cant sell yourself short, you cant sell this man short, and you cant adopt a child and sell him/her short.
However, if you think that your love for this man is so deep that it can transcend any obstacle. Then stay togethwr, and work on it, there are options. Do what you have to to make it work.
Good luck, do what you need to do to make yourself happy. If you are not happy with who you are and decisions you have made, there will be nothing anybody else can say or do to make it right, you will have to be the one to set things straight. So lead yourself in the right direction. You know in your heart and mind..the answer is there not here!
2006-10-19 14:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by RAW29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't that he can't have kids?
But that is beside the point, if you love this men and have been together for almost a year, and he accepted you with your child and is good to you and your kid, why can't you try and see what other options he has and if there is something you can do to help him. Not just think about yourself and try to walk away from the relationship. How would you feel if you were in his shoes, not very good right? A relationship is about helping one another, so instead of thinking of walking away stay and look at the options and see if there is anything you can do. And after then you can figure out if you want to stay or walk away.
Good Luck.
2006-10-19 14:06:12 · answer #3 · answered by latina lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean i wouldnt just leave if you all have been together for 8 months i would think you all have strong feelings for each other and just because he cant produce kids you leave i know that would hurt... ask the doctor if there is anything you all can try and there is always adoption there are a lot of kids who need to be loved in this world...oh yeah but at the end of the day what your heart feels is what matters
2006-10-19 14:05:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love him, you will stay with him. You are blessed with one child and with the way technology is they will probally find out why he can't have kids and fix it. I would never walk away from someone I love. You can end up with someone who you don't love, who knocks you up, and then leaves you. Being a single mother of 2 is not fun. Think about it long and hard before making that decision. Good luck.
2006-10-19 14:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by lynlee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask then you don't love him enough to stay with him.
Guys sometimes lie about such things.
Be careful or you may get another baby and lose another relationship.
I see no reason to keep him. He can't give you what you think is important or he's a liar. Either way dump him now.
2006-10-19 14:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want more children of your own one day, then leave him now and walk away.
If you can live with the fact that you will never have another child of your own then stay with him. You can always save money and adopt later.
2006-10-19 14:03:35 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him you couldnt walk away there are loads of things you can do to have a child however if you have any doubts you need to sort them out and let this man find someone else if your not willing and for yourself aswell but if you really love him check out all the options you'll find loads!
2006-10-19 14:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by keevy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs to go to another doctor for a second opinion. It may not be as bad as it seems. There are so many advances in medicine there has to be a solution. Keep digging.
2006-10-19 14:07:08 · answer #9 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about adoption?
And, if you love him, and think you have a good chance of making a marriage work, then don't you think it would be a bit shallow to leave?
2006-10-19 14:02:49 · answer #10 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋