For parents age 25 and older...?

Question

What is your view on spanking?
Do you spank your children?
If not, why and what do you do for discipline?

I am not talking about abuse. Spanking is not abuse, it is a form of correction. For some children it is taking things away. For others it is spanking. I am not looking for verbal abuse here, just a simple answer will do.

Answer 1

As a Dad of 22 years for 5 children, I have spanked my children at rare times.

I never spanked if I was overly frustrated, angry, or emotional.

I only spanked on a clothed butt with a flat hand after a short clear direct explanation before, and a short clear direct explanation afterwords. I never hit any other time.

Rarely, did this discipline need to be used, but it I did use it on some of my young children, not all, but usually safety actions were involved, or lack of integration or focus. For every negative I had to administered, I tried to later compensate with 4 positive reinforcements that were not connected to the negative incident.

Voice tone worked best, with stern facial expressions and consistent rules. My daughters and one of my three sons always responded to these techniques. My older son did well with this but only after a rare incident of controlled spanking.

My middle son was strong willed from the start, very smart, lovable but ornery. He was spanked the most and now as a grown young man, respects me the most. He is still head strong at times, but I redirected this problem to an asset as he grew up. This child I believe the physical reminder to redirect dangerous behavior or control over aggressive actions towards others. He fought me for leadership of the family.

Luckily, I won the battle early because now he is much larger and stronger than I am. Yet, he respect me more than all the others.
Dad

Answer 2

I am a full believer in spanking. This is how I was raised, and my parents before me. Once I got a good spanking for something or my mouth washed out with soap, I didn't do it again! Take a look at society when we were kids and before that, then look at the youngsters today and tell me there is not a difference in respectfullness, morality, etc.. My daughter will get a spanking after she's been told "no" or had "time out" and still doesn't get the message.
Other people need to butt out, unless a child is truly being beaten and have physical marks of abuse.

Answer 3

I believe that spanking is not a form of abuse, unless it is taken too far. Yes, I do spank, however, I mostly use spankings as a last resort, unless she does something that I know no other discipline will work for. However, I don't think spankings should be administered when the parent(s) is/are angry, this doesn't send a healthy message to your child. Make sure to explain to them why they are being disciplined this way.

Answer 4

I do not spank children. Spanking can do way more harm than good. Discipline should be designed to "help teach" a child right from wrong. Talk with your children about problem situations, discuss the negative natural consequences that can result from the bad behavior. Make the punishment fit the crime and their age. Children that are very young do not have the ability to reason. Teach them by explaining the problem, consequences, and benefits of stopping and by being reasonable in their punishments such as 1 minute time out for each year of age.
After punishment, talk with your child about the reason for it. Let them know that you love them and that you want them to make good choices so they can have a good life. Grounding, removing privileges, time outs, hard work, writing: I will not..... 100 times, etc.
Talk "with" children about problems, consequences and solutions before there is a problem, when there is a problem and after will help give them the tools they need to think things through (reason) help them to learn problem solving skills, and make good choices. Communication is key. Let them talk too and share their feelings, questions, or suggest possible solutions as well. Listen to them.
What does spanking teach? If I do something wrong, make a mistake or do something they don't like - I deserve to be hit.

Answer 5

I am 33 years old. I have a 3 year old son and another son on the way in Jan.

I believe in spanking. I use it when needed. I do take toys away from him too. Nothing is wrong with it. I was spanked as a child and I am fine. It is not against the law to spank a child. In fact if you talk to police officers they say the the problem with kids today is the lack of spanking. Most of them spank their kids.
To me "TIME OUTS" are a joke and don't work.

Answer 6

I do believe in spanking when it is necessary. Yes, I have spanked my kids. Now that they are older I take things away like computer and telephone.
How anyone raises and disciplines their children is their own choice. Every child is different and their is no set "rules" for doing the right thing. All one can do is their best and what works for me may not work for you and vice versa. As long as a child is not abused or mistreate of course/

Answer 7

I know you posted this for parents 25 and older but every opinion counts. I'm 21 so close enough I have one child of my own, but I'm oldest of 6 siblings I believe in spanking depending on the situation. A lot of smaller cases as if they were playing with something they were supose to would be something for time out. But let your child know that it;s a chain of event you do this you get told, do it again you get time out, and usually by time out they don't do it. Bigger cases spanking may become that third event. Just an idea that might help good luck though.

Answer 8

We only spank our child as a last result. After taking away TV Computer freinds allowance etc.. We do this becuase my husband father would spank them too much and too often, my mother used it as the only form of punishment while I was young and we believe that alt methods work better. Our daughter is 7 and I can count on one hand how many times she has been spanked.

Answer 9

Physical violence isn't the lesson you want to teach. Reserve spanking for the most serious life-threatening situations, like repeatedly running into the street. Don't simply use spanking because you're frustrated and nothing else seems to be working.

If you have a healthy relationship with your child, teach them right and wrong, and get them involved in the daily tasks then they will become mature and responsible contributors to the family. Much of the problem these days is that parents ignore the kids and just leave them in front of the television where they witness a lot of violence. The kids start hitting the parents so the parents start spanking the kids in return.

Answer 10

Yes, I am 36 and I believe strongly in spanking when it's called for. I still use other methods such as Time out, taking toys away, grounding, and point charts. Spankings are used when our girls break one of our core rules, or as a last resort.