my girlfriend ran over our cat?

Question

It was horrible. She came home and was driving the car into the garage and our kitty got under her tires. I was at work when it happened, and apparently he died pretty quickly. She was an absolute wreck, as you can imagine. He usually avoids the car and the garage, but for some reason the other day he didn't.

I need some advice on how to help her deal with this trauma. She feels awful, and I feel terrible cos I keep crying when I think about how much I miss him but I don't want her to feel any worse than she already does. She doesn't like to talk about it, she keeps seeing him dying right in front of her. (She wouldn't let me see him, she had him wrapped up before I got home, I would've lost it.) Any advice? Has this happened to anyone else?

We took him out to her parents place in the country and buried him in the family pet cemetary. We loved him very much.

thank you all for your warm support. it means so much to both of us.

Answer 1

You have to find a level ground, where you can greive, but she can stop feeling guilty. You shouldn't have to put your own greiving aside because someone feels bad.
In the same breath, you also need to make her understand, that even though you are crying and upset, and miss the cat, that doesn't mean it's her fault. She needs to understand that you need to greive, but that's no reflection on how you feel about her.
Keep talking to her, keep reminding her that accidents happen.

Good luck, and I'm sorry.

Answer 2

I am sorry for your loss. Pets can become like a part of the family. I had a cat for 13 1/2 years and felt guilty because of the things that I could not control before he died. It took time to get past it and sometimes I still feel guilty and cry. I miss Blue alot.
Grief is a hard thing to deal with. Healing takes time. She probably feels guilty. Just remind her if she mentions that she feels this way that she can't be faulted for this. The cat just got into a place she could not see.
She probably doesn't want you to see him because she wanted your last memory of your cat to be of the way he is not the way she saw him after.
Be supportive and let her heal in her own time. She will be alright.

Answer 3

OMG, I am so so sorry about your loss. Losing a pet hurts as much as a human and I challenge anyone to refute that! I know this doesnt help right now, but he is in a better place now and died quickly..take heart in knowing he didnt suffer long.

I have lost several cats and dogs over the years and it doesnt get easier over time. I still see them in my mind everyday as will you and your girlfriend. I cant even imagine the hell she must be putting herself through. You have to let her know *Im sure you did already though* that you know it was a horrible accident.

Please try to take heart and know he'll be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge

Answer 4

I am so very sorry. What a terrible tragedy. I can not imagine the horror she feels. You are doing the right thing by not making her feel worse. Just keep telling her how much you love her and mostly that it was a very unfortunate accident. It will take her a while to get over this, just keep supporting her. I feel so bad for you both.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for your loss. It's horrible I know, but you said the cat died fairly quickly. That's a good thing that he didn't suffer much then. Look up the poem called " The Rainbow Bridge". It's VERY helpful and might make you look at things a bit differently. My heart goes out to you both.

Answer 6

It will take alot of time for both of you. You are never really going to get completly over the loss of your Baby. Go to
http://www.catster.com/ and you can find support there and if you would like there is a page you can dedicate to your Baby, and meet others who has lost their "family" members. You can set up the Web Page for your kittie any way you want to and there are people there that will help you in doing so. DO NOT go there UNTIL you are READY though, you may not be able to do it now with your grief being so fresh. If you care to, go to my Yahoo 360 Page and I have two Web Sites, one for each of my "Cats" in my Blog, and you can click on them and see how it works and get the information if you are interested WHEN you are ready. Get your girlfriend to help also, and that will HELP her a great deal in doing something for your Kittie as a Memorial.

Answer 7

I am very sorry for your girlfriend and for you. My heart go out to you both. But my advice would be to leave your girlfriend alone for a couple days. Let the shock and trauma wear down then talk to her about it. Get her to recount the whole incident from the beginning even if she doesn't want to. She needs her space for now but she really needs you to be there for her and to comfort her.
I lost my two cats and after my last cat died I found this website that talked about coping with the death of a cat. http://www.2ndchance.info/grieving.htm

After my first cat died, I was given this poem that to some degree helped me through it

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

I hope this helps you both and I am so sorry.

Answer 8

it is always very hard to deal with loss. It feels like we get a little piece of heart torn out. It will take time, but soon you will heal. Remember the good times and just go with the flow of the feelings. whenever you are both ready you can get a new kitty in your lives. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

sorry to hear of your loss.
he may have had a lot of near-misses with cars that you don't know about and this time was just unlucky. When we invite animals to share our home we give them a lot of benefits, warmth, affection, food, but we can not hide them from the dangers of the outside world. Like humans, they have to take their chances and like us, unfortunately sometimes it does not work out.

He is not suffering now but the cats in the rescue centre are, they need someone to look after them. ***Perhaps your friend could make a donation to them, in his name ***, with a little card

Answer 10

I'm sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say to help but time will help. make her talk about it, both of you grieve together and when/if your ready down the line go to the shelter and have a cat pick you out.