i love my fianace dearly, but i don't feel like i'm really engaged. i love sharing the news, and planning the wedding. but since i've been engaged for about 3 months, i still feel like he's my boyfriend. what should i do?
2006-10-19 06:32:45 · 25 answers · asked by justinslovelymrs 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
hes cheating on you............ leave him go to Vegas and have a one night stand............ and never get married
2006-10-19 06:35:39 · answer #1 · answered by flavorlicious 2 · 2⤊ 5⤋
Hi, I just got engaged in September and I feel the same way about boyfriend (oops fiance) lol. I still refer to him as my boyfriend and my friends always correct me. I dont feel any different either. As a matter of fact it took me almost a month to start buy my first wedding magazine or to even think about doing anything wedding related. I still sometimes look at my ring and I'm like "IM ENGAGED" So what you're feeling is perfectly normal. Esepcially if you haven't had an engagement party or started any real wedding plans.
2006-10-19 13:40:27 · answer #2 · answered by nefertiti186 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
why what are we suppose to feel? LOL
Getting a ring doesn't change anything... heck, I wish it would stop him from throwing his dirty clothes on the floor...
Only in the movies is their this "big" dramtical change.
Truth is as it's actually harder to become one then it is to be single. Sharing your life with someone is not glamours or easy sometimes. Just enjoy planning your wedding.... I think your just over thinking the whole thing or is someone putting this crazy notion in your head. You know what's funny- do you ever see that show "till death" about the two married couples... one young and one old. It's funny cause everyone I talk to, even newly engaged says they too are like the old couple, and who the heck is like the "young" couple!! LOL
2006-10-19 14:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way for months after we got engaged. The funny thing was, that I didn't actually feel "engaged" until I was already married. It's like your brain takes time to catch up to reality.
I think it just takes time. Plus, we go into it thinking we'll feel a certain way. It sounds like your love for your fiance hasn't changed. You sound like you're very committed to him and to making a life with him.
Focus on planning the wedding and being together. The rest will fall into place.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!
(PS...you'll feel engaged when you have your shower...and when you find your wedding dress)
2006-10-19 13:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this may be because there is waaaaay too much hype on engagements. When you are engaged though, you should at least feel excited that you are getting married There's not much of a difference between a boyfriend and a fiance. Now that he's a fiance, he's just a boyfriend on a countdown to marriage.
J
2006-10-19 13:43:07 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We humans create these virtual realities in our heads about how things are supposed to be and how we're supposed to react and feel. Because of that, we think we need to feel something very different and special when we get engaged or married or whatever. It's all a layer of stuff we put on top of reality. You love him and that's it -- all the rest is just artificial stuff. When I married my wife, I didn't feel anything magical or special because we were married. I try not to make our relationship into this overly-romanticized, overly-idealized magical thing and the irony is that because of that -- because I realize I love her without she or I having to satisfy some weird and artificial set of expectations -- I love her even more. When the rules and the expectations go away and you're left with two human beings who don't try to make romantic characters out of each other in their life scripts, you get to real love which sees and accepts all of the flaws. Important note: I've gone through periods of not being attracted to her, of not wanting to be with her, of doubt -- and it was all ok. By looking at it and not thinking that I was thinking horrible things, it made me see that these are normal things that occur in relationships. Because of all of this, I am so deeply in love with my wife -- and it's a love that doesn't exclude other people. I have female friends and male friends whom I spend time with and have strong love for as well (albeit, in a different form). Jealousy, expectations, possessiveness, and trying to make someone fit our own ideals will cause problems. And it will occur but it's helpful to realize it.
2006-10-19 13:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what did you think it was going to feel like? Just becuase you get engaged doesn't mean everything changes and you love him more and all that. Things are exactly the same...but you have to plan the wedding....You better get used to it, because it is the same when you get married! You never feel different, there just happen to be different things going on .
2006-10-19 14:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's really no particular feeling. You probably don't feel different because you've made a choice to get married but you're not married yet. Once the wedding day comes closer you should feel different-I know I will! For now just be happy and don't freak out about this b/c it's nothing strange.
2006-10-19 13:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by my_belovd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that has changed in your life and his is the commitment you have made to each other. Being engaged simply means to two of you have agreed to make a permanent commitment to each other at a set date. Nothing has changed to make you feel any different. What you are feeling is about as 'natural' as a woman can feel. After all he is still your boyfriend!
2006-10-19 14:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by sistervoodoo2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that really changes is that you are planning your wedding if you are doing that already. When I got engaged I was really excited but the only thing that changed was my finger felt funny! He had given me a promise ring but they felt completely different from one another! And we didn't have to start planning our wedding right away. We got engaged August 2004 and got married June 2006.
2006-10-19 13:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will feel like that until about 2 months before the wedding and then you will start to fell it. It happen to me to and don't worry it is very normal. Maybe through an engagment party and help you fell more like an engaged couple. Then maybe you will feel more like his fiance as opposed to his girlfriend.
2006-10-19 13:42:36 · answer #11 · answered by Alisha C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋