my bf and i have been dating for about 3 years. well he just recently told me that his friends are just important as i am. shouldn't i be a little more important considering the fact that i love him..and they don't...they have only been friends for about a year.
he sees them every single day and sees me 3-4 times a week..maybe 5 if im lucky. they will never love him unconditionally like i do. he says "my friends wouldn't make me chose between you or them" i said im not making you chose. chosing between people and having someone more important then others are two completely different things.
help?! what do i say to him to get it through his head that if he didn't have them..he would have nobody but me. i have tried explaining it. he doesnt listen
2006-10-19 06:31:58 · 14 answers · asked by Lisa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go, and share your problem with his friends. Tell them politely that you have no problem with their friendship but you want to be more important and special to your bf.
2006-10-19 06:42:48 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you are in a no winner here. I have been there and it will get know better. You can not make him chose. Start looking for you some New friends and see how he fells then if he does not mind move on be cause he never will put you first in the relationship. good luck I have been there so I know what you are talking about.
2006-10-19 13:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by liza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't know how old you are but sounds like he is taking you for granted. That's why, if you are looking for a future husband, you shouldn't spend more than 2 years dating to see if you're compatible. Then if there is not a mutual love and engagement, it's time to move on. Sorry, but that's the truth in most cases.
2006-10-19 13:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to understand that he probably has a lot in common with the 'guys' and they have been a part of him longer than you have.....my friends are more important to me right now than a boy at this point.... over time that will change...maybe you should ask him for some space if you are not happy and show him that he does need...let him now how important he is to and how important you are to him.....if its the same mutual feelings both ways then he'll see how you are important to him... andif not then its better to find out now than later when you think that your serious..
2006-10-19 13:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by rudi trudi phoenix gordon 7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dealing with a philosophy that is common amongst men...its called "broes before hoes".
The problem is...that you have a man in your life that is probably romantic and/or sexual with you. He is not however your best friend. And you apparently are not his either.
You need to figure out what things you have in common and work on the friendship thing now that you have the romance down. Get close to him...otherwise he will eventually do his own thing, cheat, or slowly wonder from you.
2006-10-19 13:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by aarondarling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some reason or another, you women out there, ( try as you might ) to change a man from doing things that he loves doing or have been doing long before you two meet. So stop with the bitching and let him be. You ever here of letting the bird fly away and if your bird comes back then it was meant to be!!!!
2006-10-19 15:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look being a guy you will find its just probally a phase hes going through you will find that when it comes down to the crunch and has a disagreement with his friends your the one hes going to turn to in the end and another thing have you tryed to involve yourself with his friends to do things as a group if that dosnt help try and spend a little more time with your friends have some girls nights out and you might just find he will start to see what its like to take the back chair ....... hope in the end that it all works out for you good luck
2006-10-19 13:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by stuckbetweenlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fight fire with fire! Hang out with your friends all the time and play him to the side. Ration his visits. If he doesnt shape up then maybe you need to explore other options. But if he tries to say you are spending too much time with your friends just say the exact same thing he said to you!
2006-10-19 13:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he knows logically that you're right about his friends. What you won't want to hear is that I also think that you may not be in his long-term plans. You are right not to give him an ulitmatum regarding his friends, but if he were serious, your relationship would take priority. He may be 'acting up' a bit here to see if he can push you away... good luck.
2006-10-19 13:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by morlock825 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Looks like you are in a tight situation right now. If I could help you, I would.
2006-10-19 13:36:36 · answer #10 · answered by supernerd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋