Help! How do I get rid of him?

Question

I have dated this guy for about a year...the first 6 months were great. Suddenly he changed. He became very emotionally and verbally abusive. We have broken up so many times its ridiculous. I always take him back because he seems sincere and sorry. After a few months of the verbal abuse I slipped back into doing drugs after 15 years of sobriety. He found out and made me feel so low that I cut my wrists. I got clean again and now all he does is remind me of the slip up. He calls me an addict and weak and tells me I dont have the courage to commit suicide. I have lost my job over this relationship and I cannot get him to leave me alone. Restraining order will not work as there is no physical violence.Everyone thinks he's Icharming. I change numbers - changed emails. Im losing my mind. I have no freinds as they all are sick of me for going back so many times and will not talk to me anymore. I have no family and now no income. Im going crazy!

Thanks so much for the suppport. I dont have the money to move but I was starting to think it was me. Thank you!

Answer 1

Be firm and stick to no or hire a hit man

Answer 2

You are correct, you cannot get a restraining order in this case because he [from what you write] has not threatened you or physically hurt you.

YOU MUST end this relationship, and DO NOT take him back under any circumstances. Then, and only then, will you be able to work on getting yourself better.

I am sure you know, when someone is displaying suicidal behavior that it is VERY serious sign. You must get some help for yourself--and do it ASAP!

The heck with the boyfriend, you have more urgent problems. When you are better, then you can worry about dating again.

*A foot note on restrainig orders. Every state's laws are different regarding PPO's. I am a licensed social worker, in my state the perpetrator must display threatening behavior, must have assulted the victim or have been stalking the victim. PPO's are not issued in my state for emotional abuse.

Answer 3

If you have no friends, no family, and no job, what's stopping you from jumping in the car and moving to a new city (or better yet, new state on the other side of the country) to get away from him? It will give you a great chance to start over, and you have nothing to lose.
Just get a map and pick a city at random - and as soon as you get there, open a local phone book, and find the local support group for your drug addiction. Stay strong and take care of yourself, you CAN be free of all this unhealthiness!

Answer 4

have you been to any narcotics anonymous meetings? you might be able to get some support there,

I was abused as well, I understand that part of why I had trouble was because I allowed myself to stay in abusive relationships.

I tell you to go to the police again , tell them this guy is stalkling you and they'll give you your restraining order. If not - leave the state, go to Alaska, go anywhere, get out fast, now. don't leave any sign. Pay cash for everything. You pack a bag, go to the train station or whatever, you fly or ride, you pay cash for your ticket, you get out and you go to a new place and then you make new friends. You go to a new church or whatever, and you just get out now.

Do not stay in any relationship with anyone who is abusive.
honestly this situation is more intense than I know how to handle myself. Even though I've been there in ways, I know how hard it is because YOU HAVE A BOND WITH THE ABUSER. These are called betrayal bonds, so we continue everything by forming relatinoships with people who abuse us. I know that.

Get a book and document everything - and there's your evidence for your restraining order.

Please dont' kill yourself. That's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. you'll get through this one way or another. It'll be hard, but you'll be ok.

get out - build a new life for yourself.

Answer 5

OK, I'm going to be more honest than nice here - but it sounds like you need it. #1., No one MAKES you do or feel anything. You choose to respond to his comments, be it depression, anger, whatever. It sounds to me like your self image definitely needs some work. Do you have caller ID? When he calls, DON'T answer! If he knocks on the door, DON'T answer! Or hang up, or close the door. You can NOT speak with him if you really don't want to. If he keeps it up, you can call the police and tell them he is stalking you.
I can understand your friends frustration. If you really want to improve your life, your self esteem, your overall well being, have nothing more to do with this guy no matter how charming he acts. The drugs (you didn't say what kind) are nothing more than a temporary escape from your real life and a way to avoid dealing with your reality. It won't help. Life is still there waiting for you, hon.
If you had a friend who was going through what you are, what would you say to them? Take your own advice, stick to it. Get rid of this guy and work on yourself. Be strong, be honest with yourself, and get your life back on track.
YOU CAN DO IT!

Answer 6

move out of town and start with a clean slate. Do you have any family members out of town? If that is not an option then just move to the other side of town and have no contact whar-so-ever with him! Not even a text message or a e-mail. If he is not physically harming you then you should be able to get over this as long as you are no where in the vicinty of him so that he cant do any emotional or verbal abuse towards you. be strong, carry on, but you will survivie! P.S. Where are the male members of your famiy? Have one of them kick his ***!

Answer 7

First off, stop taking him back....If he abuses you in anyway....tell him its over and get a restraining order against him and let him know that he will be arrested if he comes close to you or try's to talk to you in anyway. I know it will hurt but you don't deserve to be abused. No one does. I had a similar experience, my brother-in-law was abusing me when he lived with me and my husband, and I told my husband and we got a restraining order on him. It was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Once you do this, you will feel free and beautiful again. Once he is out of your life, get back on track and get off those drugs, you deserve so much better.

Answer 8

restraining orders do not require physical violence to be effective. You need to get away, and STAY away. This person needs to control everything, and the lower he makes you feel, the more likely you are to stay with him cause after all, who else would want you right??? You need to pick up your self esteem, lose the excess baggage (as in HIM,) and rebuild your life. How much more are you willing to let him take from you? You are worth more than what he is giving, which is NOTHING!

Answer 9

Restraining order

Answer 10

prove to him that he is wrong.... get rid of him.... find U a church... if Ur friends was real friends they would still be with you in a time of need.... U stopped during drugs.... that in itself shows that U are strong.... he is showing his weakness by putting U down..... U already know that he does not have Ur best interest in his heart.... Exodus 15:2 The LORD is my strength, the reason for my song, because he has saved me. I praise and honor the LORD-- he is my God and the God of my ancestors.
GOD bless.....

Answer 11

You already know the answer! Break up for the last time and DON'T!! go back. This is a dangerous relationship you need to end it now.