Gay father, straight mother?

Question

I have just been asked/told by my roommate that he wants a child. He is currently close to his 30's and gay. I am straight, but single. I have been thinking about his proposition about having a child, it would be all done medically, but, how would this go on? There is alot to think about, but I don't know if anyone has had this situation...do I say yes? How will this affect us as friends?

I read answers and thank you all, I also want to add, he doesn't just want the child for him and his partner he wants me to be the mother.

Answer 1

There is a LOT to consider here, so take your time to look at all the issues thoroughly. Let your roommate know you're considering things, but that you want to take a lot of time to explore the possibility. If he doesn't appreciate that, he is definitely NOT the man to father your child.

Questions to consider:
Are you ready to be a mom--emotionally, physically, financially?
How would having a child with a gay man affect any future relationship you may have?
Will your family and friends be accepting of your baby's father should you choose to do this?
DO YOU LIKE AND RESPECT AND TRUST THIS MAN? If you have any question in this area, run for the exit now!
Two reasons: your child will have qualities of this man, and will spend time with this man, so if you don't like him, that's a huge problem.

How long have you known this man? Do you know his partner/s, friends and family?

If you decide to explore this option further, get legal advice before proceeding and draw up contracts about child support, custody, etc.

Answer 2

first of all honey there is no proof that people have genetics of being gay my parents are both straight and i am not so there is really no arguement there and there is no reason that this man should not be able to father his own child maybe if more gay couples had children the world would be a better place children need to know that being gay or straight is a life decision it is not something that they were born to be it is all a matter of preference and when they get older they will know which they prefer it is not like all the gay people in the world came from a gay parent if you know what i mean. also if it is all going to be done medically i assume that you will be having invitro and i think that is great for those that made the comment about diseases they screen the sperm before it is implanted so you are probably safer that way than any other way in the world. invitro was a gift as a woman that was told that even if i was straight i could never have a child i think it was one of the best ideas that the medical society has ever come up with there is no reason that if you are comfortable with this you shouldnt do it

Answer 3

Having a child changes everything. I am a gay father myself and know this. And yes, I had my children the old fashioned way with a woman whom I married to give our children legal statis. Needless to say the marraige did not last(4 years). So to answer your question. Unless the two of you are going to seek lawyers and have a total joint custody decree written and stick to that, then I'd day that this plan he has will not work. Me and my ex-wife were going to do this, but having a child can change a person's mind. And afterward we went through so many custody battles, court hearings, and child support hearings that the courts finally gave up on trying to console us or try and make us happy with any written decree. In the end we had to come up with a win/win situation that was good for the children. And that took us both growing up a bit. And in the end letting the children decide where they wanted to be.

Answer 4

I would say that the main issue you will have with this is your future. When you meet the man you want to marry, and decide to have children together, how do you think he may feel about the arrangement made? Also, he will have different views on raising a child as opposed to the baby's father. Your husband may have preconceived ideas that the baby may have genetics to be gay.....the list could go on and on. Unless you are prepared to deal with what you may face, I would not recommend doing this. He can always adopt, and I am sure any baby would be lucky to have him as a dad.

Answer 5

Just because he is gay does not mean he could not be a good father. I know that one of my oldest friends is gay and has always worked with children but, never had any of his own. It is a real shame he would be a great dad and some lucky kid has missed out on that. Good luck to you and if you are ready to have a baby then more power to you. I don't see anything wrong with your situation. Your child will be more likely to love everyone and not been racist towards anyone. :)

Answer 6

Go buy the entire season of Will and Grace! It might help! But I say go for it if it's what you want. If a child is going to be loved I see nothing wrong with it. I do however want to know why he doesn't adopt?

Answer 7

If your gay friend wants a child tell him to adopt .

Do you want to be single parent Mum for the rest of your life?

Answer 8

see an adoption attorney. a gay rights center may help you both d and give more information that you definitely need too.
you have lots of risk and work and there can be many medical and legal complications.for years to come.

Answer 9

No way. Shouldn't interfere with what God intended for His purpose. I don't believe in in-vitro either.
If God wants you to have a baby, you will have one. When you do it outside His wishes, that is when trouble starts. People are messing around with something that is not thier right to mess with. If he want's a baby, get a wife like you are supposed to do.(two left shoes aren't a pair any more than two penises are) It really hurts me when people want to live apart from God's purpose but want God's benefits.I know it hurts God, but He loves us so much, he often gives us what we don't deserve. I know he has given me more than I deserve and I am only sorry I am not a better person for Him. If people really think that having a baby in a broken home (divorces included) doesn't create a void in that child, they are lying to themselves. There is nothing superior to a child created between a man and a woman, who love each other and are connected to God and experience that when they are creating the child and raising the child. There is nothing more perfect than that. Nothing.
You are having doubts and questioning it because it is wrong. You know it will be dysfuntional in the end, because it is a perversion of the intended design. It is innate in people. They will fight it like crazy, but deep down, justifications and analogies aside, they know it is wrong.

Answer 10

NO DONT HAVE HIS BABY WHAT KIND OF SH1T IS THAT HE'S GAY THAT NOT ONLY SET U ATE RISK FOR DISEASE BUT INFECTIONS AS WELL IS HE WANTS A CHILD LET HIM GET HIS ACT TOGETHR FIND A WOMAN HE LOVES ENOUGH TO MARRY AND HAVE DONT DO IT BECAUSE U ARE FRIENDS
A CHILD DESERVES A GREAT LIFE IN THE ONE U TWO ARE SETTLINGTO PROVIDE FOR HIM IS ******* CRAZY, SICK AND DISGUSTING .

DONT HAVE YOUR BABY BY A GAY MAN THINK ABOUT IT
A REAL WOMEN AND FRIEND WOULD ENCOURAGE HIM TO FIX THIS PROBLEM WHICH IT IS
AND HAVE A CONSISTENT COMMITED RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOMEN BEFORE WANTING TO BE A DADDY HOW CAN U EXPLAIN TO YOUR CHILD HE HAS TWO DADDY ONE MOMMY BECAUSE DADDY LIKES BOYS TOO
BECAUSE THAT WILL ONLY CONFUSE AND RUB OFF ON YOUR CHILD

THINK ABOUT WHAT U ARE DOING
CAUSE IT WOULDNT BE RIGHT
THATS SICK
LET HIM GET HELP AND U NOT HAVE HIS BABY.
GOOD LUCK