How can a Catholic have a Protestant wedding ceremony and not have to raise children catholic?

Question

You see, my fiance is protestant and I am catholic. Well, I want a catholic wedding and I want to raise the children catholic. My fiance doesn't care if we have a catholic ceremony but he isn't so sure about us raising our children if we have any catholic because he doesn't know much about Catholicism.
How would I get married and not have to raise my children catholic? I would also like to know if it's very common for a couple to teach their children both the protestant and catholic faiths.
Could you help me here?

Answer 1

--Is Catholic--

Well first to get the dispensation to marry a non-Catholic the priest has to be sure that you will not be in danger of defecting from the faith and that you will raise your children Catholic. It is important to keep in mind two things 1.) Religious differences become more pronounced when you actually have kids and the reality of raising them Catholic starts. 2.) Raising kids in multi faiths does not produce more religious people but rather less religious people. Kids are not mini adults and they simply cannot process the differences between Catholicism and religion X and rather they generally see that religion is either not important or simply a matter of personal taste such as liking chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Of course that is completely wrong and not at all what religion is about.

Because your future fiance doesn't know much about Catholicism, let me suggest that the both of you read the following books.

Catholic for A Reason: Scripture and the Mystery of the Family of God by Hahn et al.

Good News about Sex and Marriage by West

If you can find it
From Death to Life the Christian Journey by Schonborn

The Founding of Christendom by Carroll

Answer 2

Are you Catholic because your parents raised you as Catholic or because you really believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church?

If you really believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church than a Sacramental Marriage within the Church would be very important to you. So would raising your children as Catholics. In this case you really must find a husband who would agree to this.

If you are Catholic just because that is what your parents raised you to be then you need to decide whether you wish to remain Catholic or not. If you do not want to follow Church teachings than really you don't want to remain Catholic. You and your fiance should find a church where you both can believe what is taught.

Sometimes trying to raise children in both faiths works but it can also lead to many arguments. You need to have a strong agreement on how you are going to do this before you get married.

Answer 3

My husband is Catholic and I am Protestant. We discussed this a long time ago, and I refused to convert, which didn't matter much to him anyways because he's never set foot in a Catholic church. We decided that we were going to do a civil ceremony instead, and ended up getting married in an Irish pub (we both have Irish ancestry). We're going to teach our children about Christianity, not necessarily about Catholicism or Protestantism.

Answer 4

Well, technically...a long time ago the children took whatever religion the mother practices...I'm not sure how much that holds true today, and you definitely don't want to give your husband that explanation...My father was protestant and my mom catholic and we never learned about anything that wasn't catholic lol...

You could always try to do what my husband and I do with our son...we switch. I take him to church with me one weekend and he takes him the next. We're two REALLY different religions and we figure we'll let our son choose when he's old enough and feels okay doing so....

The thing is, with other religions, such as the protestant religion, you don't have to go through all the other things that you have to do to when you convert to catholicism...you basically just have to adhere and believe in what they believe, and in some cases be baptised...So you could theoretically convert to protestantism pretty easily...

Hope that helps a little!

Answer 5

Does this help in any way? My mother was Catholic, my father was Protestant. I was christened in the Church of England, and my sister, was baptised in the Roman Catholic church. Neither of us grew up to be religious, mainly, I think, because we were allowed to make up our own minds on religious matters while still young, having learned about both divisions of the what is, essentially, the same belief system. We are not alienated from each other, nor from our family. We simply did not succumb to the brainwashing of organised religion. Yet we are both respectable and, I hope, respected adults, well educated and with friends from all walks of life and religious backgrounds. Indeed, the religious issue has _never_ been an issue and I suspect that what ever you and your fiance decide it won't be a problem for you, or your future children, either. We are now in the 21st century, not the 14th and it is about time that civilised people learned to accept people of different religions, or of no religion at all.

Answer 6

In the case of me and my wife (her Catholic and me Protestant) we had a Catholic wedding and later she became a Protestant. I think you need to decide on one faith for the family and not confuse your children with conflicting view points when it comes to Faith. I was a Catholic at one time myself and I think it's easier to go from Catholicism to Protestantism than the other way around.

Answer 7

you need to talk to a priest I am catholic too and my daughter married a protestant and as what the priest will say. he can do the wedding with the pastor(protestant ) and the church will recognize it as well recognize the children to be catholics and or protestant. as for your hubby he can talk to the priest and ask questions that's what they are there for he doesn't have to change religions.... You will be fine and just talk with each other and dont let people confuse you two

Answer 8

Regardless of how you raise them, they will eventually have to make of their own minds. My two brothers and sister were all raised Catholic and went to Catholic school. Now my sister is an Episcopalian Minister and neither of my brothers or I go to church at all, so don't think they'll believe what you tell them too. The more you try, the more they will rebel against it.

Answer 9

Then before you consider marrying him he needs to attend some RCIA sessions or do some reading on the Catholic Faith. Because for you that is not an option. Your obligation is to Baptize and raise your children in your Cathoilc faith.

Answer 10

In my family, my great grandfather was catholic and my great grandmother protestant. They taught their kids both religions and let them choose when they were older. The important thing is to teach the core of both beliefs. Salvation through Jesus, etc.