Tell Me WHY?, read on please.......?

Question

Can someone tell me why there are all these young girls, and I mean like 11, 12, 13 year old girls, who are wanting to play grownup and have sex? And where are the parents, especially the mother to explain these things? I didn't even allow my daughter to date until she was 17, then the boy had to come and meet me first. There was no "going out with somebody"......these kids aren't even old enough to cross the street alone, let alone go out with someone. What is happening to our society?...Please..anyone with coments? How do we stop this?

Just because "not too many years ago" girls were married off at 15, doesnt make it right for todays children to be playing house. Education is much more important now then it was back in those days. And without education, our children will not be able to survive in a world that is ever changing.
And to the "parent" that said you will give your kids a box of condoms on their 13th birthday so they are well informed....you need help......I would much rather be "overprotective" then give them open range to sleep around.......I want to know where my kids are and what they are doing and who they are doing it with....I dont want them to think that I condone a "loose" life just because I trust their decisions after I give them condoms and explained lifes ups and downs.

Answer 1

It's a sad commentary of today's society that kids that age are so sexually active. I work with young offenders and they all believe that they are the adults and most have very poor relationships with family and peers (other than their boys or girls). A friend of mine is a high school teacher and told me that young girls are also performing a new kind of oral sex called a rainbow also. Each girl puts on a different colour lipstick and gets on bus with football team etc. and each give oral sex to the player. I haven't honestly any idea of how to stem it other than having more parential control like you had with your daughter. Perhaps all this sex education that we are teaching and throwing in our kids faces is working in reverse, and rather then teaching them of safe sex is actually telling them in their minds that they need to be sexually active. Sadest part of it all is that most that age are having unprotected sex.

Answer 2

I, like you, find this sort of behavior totally inappropriate. I don't know what the answer could be other than each parent should take a lot more interest in, and responsibility for, their children. Too many children are being raised by daycare because the parents both work to support the large houses, the 2 and 3 cars, the expensive (but not needed) toys and trappings they think they deserve.

If everyone lived well within their means, the children would have the proper guidance and attention that THEY deserve!! A little child doesn't know to care about whether or not they live in a huge house, whether or not mom and dad drive expensive cars, whether they have a home theater or even a television! All they care about is if they're loved.

I could go on and on about this because it infuriates me when a young person gets in trouble and the parents look around for someone to blame. I tell them to look in the mirror!!

Answer 3

I am going through this right now. I have a 12 year old daughter that is trying to sneak around and have a boyfriend....I mean a real boyfriend like calling him, him calling her, her going to his house (he lives 2 houses down) , and my son who is 10 goes to the same school and tells me how he sees her with him all the time at recess etc. I definitely have had to put my foot down on this matter. We have already talked openly about sex because she asked several years ago, but now that her hormones are maturing she is totally forgetting our talk. I keep her quite busy with school, and at home, but every chance she gets she is wanting to sneak over there or sneak calls in! Many of her classmates are doing this and have been since 4th grade. I know I haven't answered why they are doing this at this early in their life....I am just as stunned that it is happening so soon. My husband and I have monitored the things she does and watches. We play active roles in our children's lives, yet still have this problem. It seems this generation thinks they should have no boundaries. And yes, we as parents need to be proactive, but there also needs to be less access to all these "vices". Even the clothes are provocative, which I don't allow but if you look in the stores...it is hard to find classy looking clothes.

Answer 4

There is no way to stop this, none of this. Each parent raises their children the way they see fit, even when there are a majority that disagrees. The past 2 generations of parents have made today all of our realities. Now here we are wondering why, and what can we do, and what is going on with today.

The only thing you can do, and that I can do, is raise our children the way we know is right, and hope that we have done and succeeded in what we were trying to do and teach our children against all the odds against us in the world that our children are now growing up in. If it helps, I feel the same way you do, and I don't understand either how things got this out of control and this damaging. But, I hope I can beat the odds, and raise my child the way I so long and hope to. BLessed be.

Answer 5

I think it depends on the person. I've know 11 year olds who really seem like children and others that you can't tell if they are a late teen or not. Seriously, I went to school with two girls who developed breasts by 9 years old and already had their periods. They looked like 20 year olds and don't look any different than when we were 11 now that we are in our 20s. One of them lost her virginity really young. She had already been doing drugs at 11 because she had older brothers that she hung out with. I think she lost her virginity to a 20-something year old. In all honesty, it sounds horrible, but at the time and in this situation, it wasn't so weird. Everyone was on an even playing field, it wasn't like some weird older man came to the school yards to seduce her, it was that she went out with her older brothers (who were in their 20s) and they'd lie about her age and she looked a lot older and was incredibly smart and mature (she is now in medical school) and a relationship formed.

I know other circumstances close to this one... as well as my own of losing my virginity and a very young age as well. I still don't think there was anything wrong with it for me. I had dated the guy for a year (we were similar in age though) and we had talked seriously about it, I went to the gynocologist for birth control and an exam and then we had protected sex and felt like we were in love at the time. I think, that if only kids could have such a positive experience and be so responsible, who cares at what age it happens? I was already working a job at a fortune 500 company at the time and felt mature and responsible even though I was barely a teenager.

A year later I was working at another major company that didn't hire anyone under 21, but they made an exception for me and so nobody I worked with knew how old I was and might have dated me if I wasn't already dating someone else.

I also went to school, college, and continuing education ... even though I worked.

Growing up to soon didn't hurt me in any way... if anything, it allowed me to make some mistakes before getting to college and then once I was in college I was way better equiped to handle the new-found freedom.

Answer 6

I hear you loud and clear! It's sinful! We need guard dogs, satellite visual, a tracking mechanism, all the guns in America and the ammo. Just in case some pedophile wants to hurt your child. Some of the adults to these kids need monitoring just as bad as the children themselves. It makes me so pissed every time I turn of the news just to find out that another young child (mostly girls) are missing. What next? Live in steel homes; don't let your children out of the house until they're all grown up? It's really scary out here. And some of these kids think that it's hilarious that someone else is being hurt until it's someone they know. Then here come the tears. Well I do believe that we can't live in fear. Not for myself at least. But I do fear what happens to our young people. Hey-----I wish I had the right answer on this one.

Be Safe!

Answer 7

When I was young, my parents didn't like talking about sex. So at the age of twelve, I would ask other kids my age questions. Of course, they all had raging hormones and couldn't give me proper answers. Really it starts in the home. Parents need to keep their children educated about sex. It is not a bad word. But it can become a bad thing if our children are not prepared. This world is getting worse when it comes to sex. When we watch Dateline, it appalls me to see so many sex predators out there. Telling our children what they need to know, is a protection for them. Today in many homes both parents work, so they don't know what their kids are doing. It is very sad to me. It is a good thing you are guarding your daughter and having her wait. Our children should enjoy their youth and not try to play grown up to soon. It is hard enough to be young, and in school. Parents, please teach your children about sex, and how waiting is for your own good, its not a punishment. Talk to other parents about your concerns, maybe you can have a day for kids to get proper answers to their questions. Or even make a pamphlet to give out.

Answer 8

Children need to stop having children.
If you live in the states it is known that you cannot beat you kids. That is a big mistake. Children need to be disciplined at times.
I live in the Caribbean and i got licks and it made me the woman i am today.
Also parents need to stop trying to be their children's friends. My mom is my best friend but she was always my mother first. Now that i am older she is still my mom but she is also my best friend.
I am not against a woman working, but their are some woman who do not know how to be mothers wives and co workers at the same time. My mom was all and as i said before, it made me the woman i am now. Not to mention i grew up in a single parent home. My dad was there for me when i needed him but he didn't live with us.
Not all women could raise a family on their own which ends up in children doing there own thing because their mothers are too busy being caught up in their own drama.

Answer 9

I am now 26 now and have to admit that I am on of those girls that started experimenting with sexual desires when I was 11 and 12... My mother gave me a curfew and I obeyed it... but who would've known that directly after school I was going to boys houses? Its not society... its just puberty. I didn't lose my virginity for years after that... I have my own morals to obide by...my parents raised me well... but I could not help wanting to satisfy the new urges that my body was getting. Nothing is happening to our society... We are just letting our kids make more of their own decisions at an earlier age.

Answer 10

hmmmm. Strange. First let's say that in our not so distant past girls were married off to older men by the age of 15 or 16. So it's not a matter of what's happening to our society as it is that society is an ever changing beast. You sound very overprotective. I plan to give my kids a box of condoms on their 13th birthdays, so they can make healthy smart decisions. We are sexual animals in a very sexual culture...watch MTV lately?

We don't need to stop it, just educate and inform our children and create open pathways for communication.