My lil sister (she is 17) just told me that she is pregnant. She found out by a test on tuesday. She had been taking birth control pills and told me that she had missed taking 3 and then stopped taking them. Her and her boyfriend was only using the withdrawl method. (I know it doesn't work always).
Besides herself, her boyfriend and me -No one else knows not even our mom. She is scared to tell our mom.
I told her she has options and that i am here for her but i can't help but to feel sorry for her. She still seems like that lil girl following me around, to me she dosen't seem 17. We are 10 years apart in age (I'm 27).
She was crying to me on the phone when she told me that she was pregnant and i feel helpless to her. She is still a baby herself.
I had my son when i was 21 ands i felt like i was too young but i have made it so far.
What can i tell her? How can i help her mentally? (She is depressed and so shocked) Should i help her tell our mom about it? No rude remarks!!!
2006-10-19 05:25:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
She is due in june of 2007. What can i do though to help her?
2006-10-19 05:26:50 · update #1
I had my son when I was 17. I am 23 now and am doing quite well for myself. The first things is just let her know you are here for her. If she is in school, encourage her not to quit. Also tell her she doesn't have to let your mom know yet, or may offer to speak with your mother for her so she doesn't risk the physical effects of the stress. That would be bad for the baby. Second, look for programs in your area that can help her as well. There may be pregnany centers in your area that will offer counseling and support services. They can reffer her to medical care too. If her current insurance will not cover the pregnancy, she will need to get medicaid or whatever your governemnt program is. Encourage her to get a part time job to begin to save for the cost and talk with the father and his family to see what help they will be so you know best how to guide her. You sound like a great sister and I am sure that with your parenting wisdom and love for her you can help her be as good of a parent as you. Just hold her hand, guide her, and encourage her. She can make it. I did.
2006-10-19 05:40:40 · answer #1 · answered by bamagrits84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definetely need to tell your mother. NO! SHE needs to tell your mother. Then she needs to decide what she is going to do. You don't say if NOT having the baby is an option for her (religiously? legally?). It is a difficult choice to make. I had the identical problem. I am 28 and my little sister is 18. As she is technically an adult, she chose NOT to tell parents and NOT to have the baby. I had my son at 19 (I was married) so she has grown up seeing how hard it is to have kids. She still needed support and to know that I did not think she was a bad person. That is the hardest part. Remember when you had your child, how unprepared you feel and wondering if you will ever be able to do all of the things you wanted to with your life? No mother is fully prepared even when a baby is planned. Now add to that the immature teenager mentality (which by nature is very selfish, if I remember correctly). Odds are she is going to second guess whatever decision she makes, but technically as a minor your mother should be involved atleast so your sister can be fully informed of her options and how each choice will affect her life (and he baby's father)
Good luck.
2006-10-19 05:47:30 · answer #2 · answered by Pixie Dust 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry about all of this. I know what it feels like to be pregnet at a really young age. I never told my parents because I was to scared but I look back at it how and wish I would have told them. Still to this day they do not know anything. I would tell the mom and dad (if there is a dad). Defiantly if she is still living at home. I mean you wouldn't won't to hide something that BIG away from a mom. All mom's won't to do is to be there for you and to help, support YOU. I know it will be hard to tell your mom but you need to do it for her and the Baby-to-be. Just keep supporting her and give her something good to look forword to. The hole she is even still a kid her self, might be a good thing maybe this will help her grow up and start looking at liefs big picture. well I really really hope everything works out. I hope I helped just a little.
Good Luck,
Zanetta
2006-10-19 05:38:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all...I am so sorry that you have to go through this right now. You are very young and if you share with others you will feel better. I know this seems very scary but you will get through this. If you feel comfortable talking with him tomorrow at school then you might want to. He may be someone you can confide in until you are ready to tell your parents. I don't know how your parents will react, but it may be good for you to talk to another adult that you are close to and get advice from him. There are a few options about what you can do in your situation, so don't make a decision until you have considered them all. Just remember to make your own decision and try not to let other peoples advice or judgment influence you. Obviously you made a mistake, and mistakes do happen. I wish you the best of luck!
2016-05-22 02:08:50 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you are there for her I did the the same thing when my little sister came crying to me saying she was pregnant I am was 21 and also got pregnant when I was 18, but I told her to calm down and not to stress then I let her know that I would help her tell my mom, but to be prepared cause she will be disappointed and mad, it helped her out allot that I was there for her while breaking the news, my mom didn't take it as hard cause me and my older sister kept telling her to put my little sister on birth control, and she did but got pregnant right before she got them.... So just let her know you will be there for her and if you want even help her tell your mom alone without dad being there it will make it a bit worse, but be sure that news does get broken to your dad within that week. Good Luck to your little sis.
2006-10-19 05:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by Lisha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my first child at 16. Telling my mom and dad was the hardiest thing to do. I got married to my boyfriend and had another child in 4 years. We were married for 21 years and it wasn't bad. He was a good provider and father and I was a good mother, my kids say so. I felt as if I grew up with them.
Your sister will be fine. She has a great sister (yes help her tell mom) and a family for support. I know it wasn't what you all wanted but it happened for a reason. God bless you all and good luck.
2006-10-19 05:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by flip103158 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well First off baby's ARE a gift from God... appreciate the gift even if shes still young, shes not dumb she knew what would happen if she had unprotected sex.. so theres no feeling sorry there, tell her to woman up, she layed down and made the child she may as well sit up and take care of it... I dont understand how young girls could even think of having unprotected sex then act so shocked when they get pregnant its life get over it.. Im 22 myself four months pregnant happily married.. I love my baby.. simple as that tell her to wipe her eyes and grow up.. sometimes you just have to be very honest with the ones you love...
You should help her tell your mother but you cant baby her.. shes officially a woman..
Good Luck
2006-10-19 05:36:09 · answer #7 · answered by Giggagirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
support her all that you can, Mom needs to be told and it would be great if you could be there when she tells her. I hope she know that life is not over but she needs to think hard about her future. My son and his wife were 17 two months before my grandson was born. They finished school him in the honor roll and she was in the top 10. They got married just out of school. She went to college first and when she was done he went. They did great! My grandson was born in 1993 they married 1994 and are still married and happy . And my grandson is doing great very much loved by all side .
2006-10-19 05:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by Nani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should tell your mom and get it over with now. Mom will be scared and pissed but then figure out what to do to help. And your sister won't have the pressure of a secret to carry in addition to a baby. As long as this is a secret she's on her own.
2006-10-19 05:40:39 · answer #9 · answered by Mark S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling your mom should be the first thing you/she does even if you are worried about her reaction. Don't even think about going behind her back and getting an abortion because there are so many things that can go wrong.
If you love your sister, you will be able to support her and it will come naturally to you. You don't need to be told how to support her, you know her well enough. She's your blood, your sister... So just love her and show her that you care.
2006-10-19 05:28:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋