what are the things to look for in a Team Lead for a software position?

Answer 1

Hi!

Team leader is an important position. The leader should be a manger with technical skills, according to the project that the team is on.
The leader should be communicative, but task oriented (not people oriented), friendly but determined. Should also be a negotiator. People should see him both, as a friend and as an expert. So, programming language is required.
If you are interested in extreme programming teams, well, there is something you should know: the team members are all equal (in theory) and should be treated accordingly.
Keep in mind that programmers are, usually, not very good at communicative skills.

Good luck!