I've been in a relationship almost a year now, I've told my girldfriend I love her (which I do) about eight months ago. She still hasn't said it to me. I am not flawless, and neither is she however I try my best, I randomly buy her flowers, I tell her I love her a million times and I'll randomly call her just to make her smile. The only negative aspect about me is that I tend to get upset very early.
I sometimes think she loves me, however at other times her actions prove to me otherwise. It is both of our first major relationship, she was hurt by her first boyfriend but told me she never love him and she is my first serious girlfriend.
I tell her I love her all the time because she loves to her it, she asks me, just as i ask her how much we care for each other and we tell each other so on a regular basis. However I do my best to make sure she doesn't have a worry in her mind, while the reverse is not true. That makes me think she dosn't love me.
What should I do?
Jack
2006-10-19 04:24:19 · 21 answers · asked by Jack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As long as you two have been together, it's okay to ask her. Ask what her feelings are or the depth of them. If she's not feeling love toward you by now, it's probably time to part ways...
2006-10-19 04:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First: The words "I love you" are ultimatley meaningless. It's the acts that matter, does she act like she loves you? And if you say "Um..well... maybe." Then she doesn't. Your answer should be "Oh hell YES!!"
Second: She sounds very needed (you do too). Why does she need to hear it all the time, and why do you keep giving it to her. Make her earn it. The words should be a gift she gets for doing something that shows she cares about you. She suprises you with a candle light dinner, you say I love you, she tapes your favorite TV show because she knew you would miss it, you say I love you. Don't just throw those words out there because she wants to hear them, that's why they are meaningless.
Thrid: This girl does not love you, she is clearly using you, maybe not finically, but diffently emotionally. Yes, she was hurt before and now she is using you because she does not have open up to you, you give her love without even asking for love back. You aren't her boyfriend, you are her puppy, you give her love when she wants and leave when she wants and ask for very little in return. If you want to see if she loves you, pull back your affection for her, usually if she cares about you this will throw her off and realign your relationship in a way where she does not take your love for granted. If she does not care for you (as I suspect) she will just move on, which will hurt you now, but at least you can get out with your pride knowing you didn't let her use you.
Last: You sound very young, I would be surprised if you were out of high school. I was in your exact same spot long ago. I wish I was smart enough to know that love is a two way street. I really hope you are smarter than me, and I hope things turn out well for you.
2006-10-19 07:05:53 · answer #2 · answered by The Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is that you can't force her to say something she isn't ready to say...and don't make her feel backed into a corner with demanding questions...you may not get the result that you want...
Take into account that she was really hurt by her last bf...she maybe a little scared that if she tells you she loves you she is making herself very vulnerable to you...so takes things easy...she has been with you for a while...that has to mean something...
Talk to her though...tell her that you love her so much as a person...tell her what she brings to your life...tell her that you think there maybe a chance that you guys could go the distance together...then tell her that you know that she was hurt before...and you are trying your hardest to never make her feel that way again...that if it were you, you would be scared to care about someone and tell then that you loved them cause you would be afraid of getting hurt again...let her know you understand and you would never want her to say something that she doesn't feel...and ask her...where does she see your relationship going...and let her know she can be honest and you won't be mad (even though you might be if you don't like what she says)...see what she thinks about your relationship...then maybe you will get a better understanding and who knows she may just say those three words you want to hear...I hope this helps...good luck to you both :)
2006-10-19 05:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by Luv_bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st I want to let you know that the phrase "I love you" should be used sparingly in a dating relationship...the less used the more special it will become...the more used it more likely the meaning behind the phrase won't mean so much to your girlfriend. Try using other phrases (I care about you, I like being with you, You make me smile..happy,etc.)
Also, try communicating with your girlfriend about your concern. I sounds like you want to see if she is as committed to you as you are to her...since you both have been in this relationship for awhile you should be able to talk to her about this pretty openly.
Since you have a bad temper...prepare yourself for the worse answer so you won't loose it in front of your girl.
Since your girlfriend has had a bad experience in the past she may need a little more time in the commitment area of her life...you have to ask yourself if you think she is worth the patience you must endure...is she something you are looking for in a long term relationship...if she is then stick it through and try to be understanding but also a better communicator on how you feel about the relationship.
2006-10-19 04:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by Chantla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
plz read !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you should either tell her how you feel... maybe its to soon to say she loves you and she might feel that way. although i known my boyfriend for 2 years and been with him for 2weeks i feel he should be saying that already though i would wait 2 years. just by the fact that he is with me would make me feel love. stop thinking so much negative. like i said talk to her and tell her why is that she does act like that. well if the case is been that she has been hurt before maybe she is making sure ... and this is very good in your guys relationships ... realize she is a keeper and that she probably loves you more than you emagine..... don't estress over this instead prove forever you aren't going to hurt her... that way you won't have to be another disspontment for her. when she does realize that you are the one she will tell you i love you i could promise that. don't be impatient but if you think its because of another reason then you should move on........
take care
flaquita
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you are invited 2 gina's web tell me what you think about my poems and email me at mariegina7@yahoo.com screen name is mariegina7
2006-10-19 04:35:05 · answer #5 · answered by gina g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's been hurt in the past, so she probelly has a hang up about the words I love you, now don't push it, ask your self do I enjoy being with her? are things going fine right now? if the answer is yes, then be confident, and happy in that, don't push the I love you thing, it will come, just continue being a good boyfriend, continue growing as man, and it will come, don't push it, enjoy what you have right now
2006-10-19 04:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems as though she does. but i do understand the whole thing about her first boyfriend. that is tough. You should reassure her that it isn't going to happen again and that you are not going to leave her. if you really love her, which i am sure you do, you should do that. You will know in time if she loves you. Also if she says for you to tell her that you love her, ask her to tell you that she loves you. i am sure that if she does, then she will say it. If this is as serious as you say it is, then i am sure it is fine to just ask her
I wish you all the best of luck
2006-10-19 04:27:47 · answer #7 · answered by Belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop saying "I Love You"... say things like... "You know how I feel about you, don't ya" or "your my best girl"... my a little doubt in the picture... if she cares... she'll be wuestioning you on what's up with no more ILY's...
In all relationships there is what I call... a butt and the butt kisser... she is the butt... and you are the butt kisser... when the butt kisser stops kissing butt... sometimes the butt will change and start being a butt kisser... get my drift here... hope the helps!!! Oh... and the best relationship is when you have to butt kissers.....LOL
2006-10-19 04:31:44 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she really does love you she well tell u when she is good and ready don't think that she don't love u just cuz she has not told u yet.she has been with you for a long time and that means she does fell something for you b/c if she didn't she would not be there so give her time and space and she well come and tell you one of these days when u r no espeting it.
2006-10-19 04:31:31 · answer #9 · answered by melissa_werner2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at the little things.
If you forget something, does she remember it for you?
Does she worry that you eat enough?
If you're hurt, does she care?
If you're late, is she upset?
Does she ask for more time together?
If you travel, does she call your motel room without you asking her to?
Does she dote on you?
If no to all those, probably not.
2006-10-19 04:27:01 · answer #10 · answered by it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋