how would u handle a child saying that she is getting headaches? She is 4 urs old and it seems when ever she feels tension with one of the people living in the house she gets these headaches. Now when he is home and I leave the room she tells him "stop looking at me" when I come in the room he says I was not looking at you. Now this only happens when I am not in the room. He says that she is lying and that one day she is going to lye about something else and get someone in trouble. She is only 4 and does not know about that stuff that he is talking about. If get get what I mean! She is well beheaved untill he gets home . When her dad gets home she does not act up. But as soon as he is around(the house guest) she does I am at my wits end and I am all out of ideas, he is leaving in a month or two. What can I do? any suggestions?
2006-10-19 04:18:25 · 10 answers · asked by whats up all 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
CAn this be causing her headaches? she has gotten them before but alot more lately.
2006-10-19 04:19:09 · update #1
FIRST OF ALL, THE HOUSE GUEST HAS GOT TO GO!! TOO MANY RED FLAGS FOR ME.
AS FAR AS THE HEADACHES ARE CONCERNED, PLEASE TAKE HER TO THE DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I SAY THIS BECAUSE I HAVE A HEADACHE OF SOME SORT EVERY DAY, AND HAVE FOR AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER. I HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD THAT USED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT HEADACHES PRETTY REGULAR -- ESPECIALLY WHEN RIDING IN A VEHICLE. WELL, OF COURSE I JUST THOUGHT SHE WAS FEEDING OFF OF ME COMPLAINING ABOUT MINE. BUT THEN LAST YEAR, AROUND THIS TIME ACTUALLY, SHE STARTED COMPLAINING OF THEM MORE AND MORE REGULARLY. AND THEN SHE BEGAN TO HAVE NAUSEA AND VOMITING WITH THEM. THEY GOT SO BAD THAT SHE STARTED MISSING SCHOOL ALSO.
I TOOK HER TO THE DOCTOR AND --GOD BLESS HIM-- HE WAS VERY AGGRESSIVE IN HER TREATMENT. WHEN TWO DIFFERENT MEDICATIONS DIDN'T HELP, HE ORDERED MRI AND CT SCANS. TURNS OUT THAT SHE HAD AN "ARACHNOID CYST" ON THE LEFT SIDE OF HER BRAIN. NON-CANCEROUS, PRAISE GOD, BUT NEEDED SURGERY NONE-THE-LESS. THE FRIDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING, SHE HAD A CRANIEOTOMY WITH SHUNT PLACEMENT (TO DRAIN THE CYST) AND HAS NOT HAD A HEADACHE SINCE. THE SURGEON SAID THAT THE CYST WAS COVERING THE ENTIRE LEFT SIDE OF HER BRAIN.
I REALLY THINK THAT YOUR DAUGHTERS HEADACHES ARE BEING CAUSED BY THE HOUSE GUEST - OR SOMETHING THAT HAS HAPPENED WITH HIM - BUT PLEASE DO GET IT CHECKED OUT JUST IN CASE. BEST OF LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!
2006-10-19 04:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by LIPPS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sounds like you daughter is afraid of your "guest". I would watch carefully if I was you. How well do you know this person. Obviously she has some kind of problem with him. Talk to her. And don't kid yourself - she is old enough to know "about that stuff". And if she doesn't, you need to talk to her about it. If this is creating a problem for her, I would tell this person he has to leave NOW. You are the mother - take control of the situation before something does happen. You can see for yourself that she is upset when he is around her. Could be she thinks he is trying to take her Dad's place. And of course she feels safe around her own father, so that is why she is o.k. when he is home. Talk to your husband about this. Something is wrong here. Don't delay. Your child should come first. Get rid of your house guest. I don't think she is making anything up, so take action. How do you know "something" has not happened to this little girl. Wake up and smell the roses.
2006-10-19 11:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have questions on if something happend between the two of them how old is the house guest? Is there something that your missing that is going on in your house. Maybe she is fine when Daddy gets home because she might feel more protected for another man figure being there. I would follow what some of the other people have said don't leave her alone with him. The headace are probally more frequent due to stress. Because of the tension of not wanting him there.
2006-10-19 11:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by viper_chick2ridewit 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Headaches can be a sign that a child is feeling stress and tension. If they occur predominately around one particular member of the house, it very likely your daughter has concerns about this visitor. If possible having this house guest find his own place may be a good idea. On another note give your daughter more credit, at four she may not understand what a lie is, but she is aware of how to keep herself out of trouble.
2006-10-19 11:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by novelwyrm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be concerned about what this houseguest has done that has made your 4 year old daughter so uncomfortable around him. I wouldn't let him any where near her and never leave her alone in a room with him. This is a huge red flag. Take her to the doctor and make sure she's not really having headaches. But he is already trying to cover his a** by saying that she's lying and one of these days she's going to lie and get someone in trouble. I wouldn't allow this man in my house. I think he has molested her.
2006-10-19 11:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE tell me you are KIDDING!!! This is obviously a cry for help from your daughter! Listen to her. Get him out of the house! Do you need to wait until it gets worse and something very bad happens in front of you to feel you have proof. You are right, children that are wouldn't lie about that because they don't know what it is yet. If she is bringing it up, there is a reason!!! Also he must be doing something wrong or why would he be getting so defensive. Guilty people usually over react in situations. Sit down and talk to your daughter about it. Ask her specifics. If anything is found, don't just kick him out-CALL THE POLICE!!!! If he did anything to her, chances are he will do it to someone else! You could stop it. Don't be afraid to look like an @ss hole, This is your child!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-19 12:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are putting your childs safety and well-being at risk for a HOUSE GUEST? I think you're the one that needs your head checked...you better hope that child-molester questioner doesn't read this question, he'll be all over it like it's proof of his stupid question...
Seriously though, don't leave the room if he is causing your daughter to feel uncomfortable. That's just common sense. Why would a 4 year old lie about someone "looking" at her? Tell him to leave, your daughter is more important.
2006-10-19 11:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by jeshzisd 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to your child about why your guest makes he head hurt. He may have said or done something that is upsetting her. If he upsets her so much I would tell her she doesn't have to be in the room with him alone. Reassure her that she can talk to you or your husband about anything that is bothering her. I hate to put such a negative spin on the issue but is it possible your guest may have hurt her and she is now scared of him? Something has clearly mad her stressed in his company. You may need to ask him to leave. I would make very sure that he has not hurt her or threatened her. She needs to know that your will protect her and that if anyone hurts her you will make sure they never do it again. Be open to what she says and do not dismiss anything she says. Closely monitor her and your guest.
2006-10-19 11:30:48 · answer #8 · answered by bamagrits84 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your guest is already has a play for your daughter sayin any thing else.. He says that one day she will lie about somthing else ? seems like he is planting his seeds. He needs to go i would never leave them alone in the house together at all !!!!
2006-10-19 12:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by jaydaka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for starters---I think i would kick out the house guest
Your child should be more important then any house guest
2006-10-19 11:22:08 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋