How old is too old?

Question

I work at a fast food restaurant, and one of our regular customers, who recently got divorced, has made it known that he wants to go out with me. I like him, but he is 20 years older than me. I have never really thought much about age, but my mom had a fit. She said that I shouldnt go out with men old enough to be my dad. Whatever. I just want to know someone else's opinion.

I am 21 he is 41.
I am not looking for just a sexual relationship!!
He had 2 boys that love me to death
He does treat me right

I am 21 he is 41.
I am not looking for just a sexual relationship!!
He has 2 boys that love me to death
He does treat me right

Answer 1

Parents want what is best for their children. By getting involved with a divorced man with two children, you are putting yourself in a very tough situation; I understand your parents upset. However, their "freaking out" will subside, because they will eventually accept your decision. They love you.

I would be more cautious about the fact that he just got divorced, rather than about his age. A person needs time and space to grieve.

I also would be concerned about the fact that he has two children. I wonder how old they are. If they are as old as you, that just seems wrong; if they are younger, I really hope that you are mature enough to give love and devotion so that they don't have to go through another separation experience.

This is not a situation to take casually.

Honestly, I have had over ten years in marriage, and it is difficult for me personally to trust this man based on my experience and what you have written. However...

If you are sure that you love him (and not just in love with the way he treats you), love conquers many obstacles.

Answer 2

It all depends first on how old you are, and whether the two of you are looking in the right direction for a relationship.

I'll break it down for you… if you're 18 and he's 38; it's really all about a booty call, which if he's cute, i would concede to him. But that's just if you're looking for sex.

If you're 28 and he's 48, there's a real good chance for a relationship, but bear in mind he will be carrying divorce baggage. It could still work if he's the wine and dine type.

If you're 38 and he's 58, you're in good company, so age doesn't matter.

Anything in between the ages, and you might have to do some date research… dinner, movies, sex. Gauge the progress and go from there.

But one date shouldn't hurt.

Wish you luck!

Answer 3

What you need to do is get to know him better. If he's the man of your dreams, then you should go for it, but if he's a regular man, then you should try and find someone better.
But do "not" lose this opportunity to get to know him or else you'll simply look back and wonder what it could have been all your life.

Another drawback is kids. If you ever want kids, then they're gonna wonder howcome their daddy is so much older. They'll probably be teased at schoo also.
"And", there's a risk in having kids with a man older than 50 years old. Your kids might have mental problems.

Answer 4

I say go for it! What is that you have to lose? If you find that you don't like him well then at least you tried it! But you should not look at age alone! I have been in a relationship for 5 years with a 14 yr age difference and it has been the best thing I have ever had! As long as he does not bring his past junk into what you 2 wanna have it should be all good! Good Luck

Answer 5

Each situation is different and I do not know your age but typicaly I would say go for it as long as you over 18. Just be leary of the just divorced thing because guys can get clingy and strange right after.

Answer 6

I usually never thought about age in a relationship until my friend met and married a man 30 yrs older than her. At first,things went fine for them. They have 2 children. But now she is taking care of him,much as you would your grandfather,and she had 2 children to worry about and care for also. If you like him,that's fine,but I would be very careful not to let it get too serious. It would not be fair to you or to him.

Answer 7

It truly depends on how old you are. If he is twenty years older than you and you are 20 years old, that's not too bad. But if he is twenty years older and your 15, hello you have a problem. So answer your own question do you think its okay according to your age to be dating a guy 20 years older than you???

Answer 8

I am 30 and there is no way I could date someone who are 50, I agree with your mom. I couldn't imagine dating someone old enough to be my dad, that is just weird for me. It is your life though and as long as you are of age, you can make whatever decision you want. I am sure you will make the right one for you. Good luck!

Answer 9

I think that you are old enough to make your own decisions and that your family will get over it. They love you no matter, and they will get mad at you but they will get over it. Be happy and live your life. I am going to be 26 in January, and I have a wonderful friend who is 46, and he is very good to me. We have at times went beyond friends but it was great, and I loved it. I would do it again. You are your own judge. If hes good to you then give it a try. Older men know how to respect women, they are more mature, and they are more settled. Enjoy him.

Answer 10

so your about 19 or so...that would make him about my age. I would love to meet a nice young woman like you and get my divorce agressions out with you in a weekend of just raw sex and have no strings attached!!!!

Where are you located!