Over 25 only - sorry, but I want opinions from folks that have been around the block before. Before I even ask, if you are saving yourself for marriage, I completely respect that, but I live a different lifestyle and am not looking to be lectured.
So, for those of us that are older & wiser...How soon is too soon to have sex after you've met someone you really hit it off with? Here's the history - I met up with a guy for a couple of dates, had a BLAST. Total gentleman the entire time. On our 3rd date, he was still being a total gentleman, although dropping hints that he might want to get more physical. I really like him & ended up pretty much jumping his bones on date #3. From what I can tell he enjoyed it. :o)
So my question is - what impression would I have left (he has called me afterwards and said we would get together again this weekend)? And should I feel guilty about this, or is this normal nowadays?
2006-10-19 03:43:31 · 16 answers · asked by M K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh good lord, even when I say EVER SO NICELY that I don't want a lecture, I am still told I am going to burn in hell. Thanks to all those leaving mature and reasonable answers :o)
2006-10-19 03:51:21 · update #1
No worries...timing is different with everone, and in my opinion, the fact that he has already called and made plans with you should confirm that you did not mess anything up.
Just becareful not to let everydate turn into just sex. It can be easy to let that happen...but try to focus on continuing to get to know each other as well
2006-10-19 03:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the person - for me it would be too soon, but for other people it's fine on the first date!
"Should" you feel guilty? The question is DO you? If you don't feel right about it, don't try to justify it by comparing to what other people do. You have to do what is right for YOU. If you want a relationship other than just sex, then just make sure you continue hanging out & spending time together besides sex. (Don't get all serious on him though, just keep some balance.)
Obviously the guy is interested in seeing you again... you will get an idea by noticing whether he asks you OUT, or if he asks you to do something staying in (watch a movie etc) which pretty much means more sex. Not that that's a bad thing ;)
2006-10-19 10:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No worries, it's totally normal. 3rd date is sort of the baseline for not just jumping in, but not waiting a long drawn-out time. But honestly? Unless you have religious considerations, there is no reason to feel guilty about having sex with who you want, when you want. You are an adult, and not accountable to anyone else's judgement. If you want to date a guy for six months and never do it, I would find it odd, but not wrong. First date? Not my usual style, but also not wrong. Third really is pretty average for everyone I know, though.
2006-10-19 10:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by Beneficentia 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I'm of the opinion that sex shouldn't be a big deal and there shouldn't be all these rules and sh*t. However, society does tend to judge. I feel that at your age, sex on the third date with a guy with whom you are going to start a relationship is not likely to be looked at disfavorably by society. Of course, you'll have the upright moralists giving you crap, but I don't think any normal people would see that as bad. Plus, he's a lucky guy to have found a woman who's not afraid of sex or who treats it like it should be a big production.
2006-10-19 10:48:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a 33 year old male.
My opinion is if he truly is a genuine guy (a true gentleman) he would be speaking with you often and looking forward to the weekend.
If he fails at the "weekend get-together" than I would start to be suspect.
Bottom line is that you should try to be abstinent as much as possible and wait for the wedding night to "proceed further" with the physical.
my two cents.
2006-10-19 10:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by raecliff95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with physical attraction between 2 people. The problem comes if one or both of you are with some-else. So go ahead and have some (protective) fun. Sounds like he was waiting for you to make the first move. You did and he has called back so have some fun this week end.
2006-10-19 10:48:33 · answer #6 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No lecture - it's apersonal decision. If you feel bad about yourself, maybe you weren't ready. Do you think he looks down on you? I would let him know that you are not just looking to get laid. There is alot more about you than a piece of butt. Only you know what your values and morals are, now show him all the other wonderful things about you.
2006-10-19 10:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by leigh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if that is what you both wanted and u both like each other, u should not be feeling guilty about anything.
For over being over 25, i think 3rd date was a little to soon, but everyone's needs are different.
2006-10-19 10:50:10 · answer #8 · answered by reene2g 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I read what you said.... But it doesn't change the fact that sex before marriage is fornication, a mortal sin. You should care more about the good of your soul than what feels good to your body now... Would you rather burn in hell for all eternity because you wanted you few moments of enjoyment ... or would you rather have eternal happiness in heaven because you over came the evil temptations of the devil on earth.... hmm.. I don't think eternal fire is really what you want my dear... stop being selfish, God created sex for marriage, period!!!!!
2006-10-19 10:49:17 · answer #9 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
dont feel guilty unless its cos you waited for third date he obviously likes you to want to meet up again and its perfectly normal in this day and age to do what you like when you like with whom you like so go get him and get laid again if thats what you want by the way i'm 47 yrs old
2006-10-19 11:32:14 · answer #10 · answered by mr_grumpy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋