Worthless birth father vs. Fiance that gives a dam*!!!?

Question

I was wondering -

I have an 18 month old boy, Precious as can be mind you! :-).. Who's birth father ( I was with him for 2 years, And @ 5 months pregnant he decided we 'weren't going to work out'...And has since had nothing to do with my son, He's never made any attempts to see him, He doesn't e-mail to check on him (I can not give him my phone number as he would do nothing but harass me)... I was wondering, Would it be morally wrong, For my fiance (Which has been in his life the past year, And has been daddy) to put his name on his birth certificate, And 'really' be his father as far as the 'law' goes?

I have every intention of telling my son the 'truth' when he is old enough to understand, But as of right now, My fiance is who he calls daddy, My fiance is the one that provides for him, Not only emotionally but financially as well, And he loves him like he's his own, You couldn't tell him, That my son ISN'T his child.
Any answers would be greatly appreciated! :-) Thanks!

I thought, Since his 'birth father' was not and hasn't ever been in the picture, And since there is no father on my sons birth certificate at the moment, We would just have to go to the courts, And my fiance would have to sign the paternity affadavit, stating that he is in fact the father, And show proper ID, And that'd be it, I know that's probably not the most legal way to go about it, But, I've asked his birth father if he would be willing to sign away his rights, In the state of Indiana, They do not allow a father to just 'sign away' their rights.

It would just be a lot easier if I left Bryan (the SD or BF) whichever he should be called, Lol, out of the picture all together, And went about my business, Letting my fiance declare that he is in fact the 'birth' father.

Answer 1

I'm doing that. My son is 10 months old. The Bio Father hasn't been around since the day I found out I was pregnant. At 8 months pregnant I met an angel from God who fell in love with me. I wanted to just be friends(even though i felt something special would happen with him) because I was about to be a single mom, my last semester of school, and confused about my own needs. I gave birth, he was there the whole time at his request, came home from the hospital(he stayed the night the week to help me recover from c-section) and in June we married. It is a complete fairytale. I love him so much and HE is my sons daddy. The father didn't even want to see him and thats fine with me, I'll tell my son the truth one day, but for now, he only knows his daddy. I could not have asked for a better husband or father for my son. So NO you are doing nothing morally wrong. It takes any male to donate sperm, but it takes a MAN to be the father, and you have found one. Congrates on your upcoming marriage and the completion of your childs heart. P.S. If the birth certificate is blank-who cares if its fraud-you can add him on and you will not have to even talk to the bio father ever again. My sons is blank, and we're adding on, instead of adopting. Just be sure your marriage is forever and he truely is accepting full responciblity as father.

Answer 2

I don't think you can just go to the court after 18 months and say oh yeah this is his birth father. Paternity would have to be proved. Your fiance would have to go through the adoption process which wouldn't be that difficult if your ex gives up parental rights without a hassle. i don't know if this is an issue or not but if your fiance adopts your son you can't collect child support from father whether or not he's in your child's life. I have a family member who actually used her new husband's last name for her son since they were together since son was infant. Nothing ever was a problem, not getting him into school or insurance or anything, nobody asked questions back then i guess. But when this boy went to get driver's license he could not use the last name that he used his whole life. They actually had to hunt done biological father, have him give up rights, and have the other one legally adopt him. To shorten this all up I advice you do all this now. It will make it a lot less traumatic for your son.

Answer 3

I think that is fine if his biological father wants nothing to do with him and so long as you tell your son the truth eventually. I just don't know if you will be able to do that without the court requiring a paternity test. Who has been paying child support? Didn't the courts want to know who the father was by this time? I don't know if it would work, but if it would, more power to you. If the court has no idea who the biological father is, then I don't see why they would question it if he signs papers saying that he is the father. Good luck!

Answer 4

i think that is terrific that you fiance is doing that, but however, it is wrong to do what you are going to do. The right way would be have you fiance adopt him, and the biological father has not choice but to sign his rights away. In the long run you will save your butt... What if in 2 months, days, hours, years or even seconds he wants to be in the child's life and he takes you to court for a paternity test... This way by having your fiance adopt him the biological father would not even consider doing this... really look at the whole picture...

Answer 5

That is great that you found someone for the two of you. Though, I always thought that the birth father was on the Birth certificate. He could always become his legal guardian. So I am guessing that you are trying to keep it simple. I am sure there are hundreds or even thousands of birth certificates with out the actual birth father on them. So of course, the choice really is yours to make. When you make a decision think of what the child may feel when he finds out.

Answer 6

That is fraud.

Have your fiance adopt your son and forget the birth father (but don't talk bad about him to your son. Just be realistic and let your son make his own decisions on that when the time comes.)

If the brith father is not on the birth certificate, it may not be as difficult to give your fiance parental rights.

Answer 7

the birth certificate is legal documentation of biological relation. you can not substitute fathers legally... once the document is drawn it is a done deal unless you can prove through a biological paternity testing (dna) that the listed father is not correct. only then can you have it changed to either "unknown" or the proven named father. however, that does not mean that you can not file for a legal name change so that the child no longer shares the same sir name as the biological father.

Answer 8

Have your fiance adopt your son. My children were adopted by my husband and in my state, they gave the children new birth certificates with his name and new social security numbers. Even if things ever don't work out for you as a couple, that boy has a father who loves him.

Answer 9

the father has to give up his paternal right then you can. You con't just put your fiance name on the birth certificate if he isn't the father and the "sperm" father hasn't given up his rights. Since he hasn't been involved in his life. It shouldn't be to hard to get those rights taken away if you can prove that he hasn't been taking care of him.

Answer 10

i'm not sure if you can put anyone on the birth cert, but how is anyone going to know he's not the "real" dad if you don't tell them? It's your business.

As far as the sperm donor, seems like he's a real piece of work. Pat on the back to your fiance for beng a wondeful man to treat your child like his own! As long as you are going to be straight with your little boy in the future about his biological dad, I'd say go for it. Your fiance deserves the title of daddy to him even if he isn't his biological one!!!