What do you do to shake off unpleasant thoughts?

Question

I've been thinking about a situation that I cannot change and the thoughts are just going round and round my head making me feel sad.

As it's not anything that I can change, or any kind of major problem, how can I stop thinking about it?

It's easy just to say 'stop' but the thoughts just keep popping back.

Any ideas? (Yes, I've tried drinking!)

Answer 1

i know what you mean! its so such an uncomfortable feeling when something plays on your mind! i suppose you just have to give yourself time to accept the fact that you can't change the situation. also reading a good book or doing something you really enjoy may take your mind off it! sorry for the lame advice. hope you sort yourself out!

Answer 2

Different things work for different people, but here are some things you might play with. This is basic NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming) which I have found very useful for this kind of problem.

Notice whether your thoughts are images or voices, or both. If they are images, notice if they are still or moving, colour or black and white. Where are they? Inside your head or outside somewhere? Is it your voice you hear, or someone else's? (Parents' voices are common.) See if you can change little things about your thoughts, the volume of the voice, or the brightness of the pictures. Generally, bright, close, fast-moving pictures, and loud, fast, close voices bother people the most.

Imagine you have a knob you can use to turn down the brightness and/or volume of your thoughts. Hear and feel a satisfying click as they disappear completely.

Talk to the part of you that gives you these thoughts. Thank the part for giving you these thoughts, and tell it you know it is trying to do good things for you. Tell it you are doing everything you possibly can about this, and ask it to come back if there is anything specific you can do to help the situation.

Move the thoughts around and behind you so you aren't aware of them any more.

If you are running an imagined situation over and over in your mind, notice if there is a resolution to it. I once was bothered by thinking over and over again about an anticipated encounter with my boss. I realized that I never ended the encounter, just went back to the beginning again. I deliberately imagined ending the conversation and leaving her office, and it never bothered me again. It is the looping nature of these things that often bother us.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I feel your pain. I do this often. Everyone will have different ways of coping but the real end result must me to find something that you can concentrate completly on and therfore having no empty concious space to use to focus on the "situation" that is bothering you. This may take some trial and error. First think of some of your stronger interests. Do you like to read? Work puzzles, play internet games? Find something that you can pour yourself into so deeply that you get lost in it. But you do know that you will eventually have to face this fear or situation head on for it to ever completly go away. If it is something that has alrady happened and you cannont cange it then you may have to be creative in how you "face it". This should not be attempted however until you are emotionaly stable enough to handle it.

Now for a quick fix: Go to www.postsecret.com and check out the problems that everyone else is having, sometimes it helps to see your issue from someone elses eyes!

GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

The key to this is exercise. Go for walks with a friend. It keeps your mind off things and it will envigor you. What I am saying, is keep yourself occupied in doing things. Take up a hobbie, spend more time with friends. Isolation can lead to a lot of thinking. Carefully plan a vacation. When you feel that thought coming along, call a friend or relative and talk about the weather or news. If nothing works then seek professional help.

Answer 5

Well, drinking doesn't help ANYTHING, nor does drugs. Take a nice walk, try a good book. Something that helps. I'm bipolar so trust me I get bad thoughts ALL the time.. Music helps. Pick up an instrument. I picked up the violin. Just 'saying' stop doesn't always work, as much as you want it to and I know that seems harsh but it's the truth. You have to DO something not just SAY something. I hope that helps hon.

Answer 6

I usually give advice but dont share much about my personal feelings on here...but I will make an exception for you because I have exactly the same problem longterm and short term. When my dad died a couple of years ago we had been estranged for 11 years, I never saw him or knew where he went etc. for 11 years I wondered and then a friend of his called to tell me he was on his deathbed...I immediately drove there and when I saw him he was conscious but unable to talk (I never had the answers from him)and That night I went back to the hotel and I told him I would be back in a few hours in the early morning...he died shortly after.....I could never forget his eyes how he looked at me the last time I saw his face ...he had striking eyes so that picture keeps haunting me even nowhe was 58. I can never get rid of that . I have many heartbreaking memories of death, abuse,illness,children,and so many other variables. They haunt me , haunt is a perfect word for these thoughts. They never leave me alone I can never forget because they are so shocking and sad or violent. The only thing you can do is do your best to ignore them . You could write about the memories as well, whenever you find you cant get it out of your head write it down.I am writing an autobiography about mine. It is ok to dwell and grieve about these things openly too, despite what anyone tells you, you can get angry or cry or hurt. If it really bothers you too much and distracts your everyday life then you will have to go to a psychiatrist and a behavioral therapist to take the edge off. all you can do is talk about it with a person that can respect you and care. Over time they will subside the more you talk about it. If you keep hiding or avoiding them they will only keep popping up. I can tell you painful memories dont disappear but they do fade in intensity with time. I hurt all the time from these deeply so. but I have to try to go on with my life because I have to carry on thats the only way I can cope. I dont know the types of things you are interested in but you might want to volunteer in hospitals with elderly and children...you might want to volunteer to be a hotline counselor on the weekends for abused women. When you are working with people who also suffer and you can make a difference some of your own pain will be replaced with these memories. You can take my advice or not but i am very sincere in what i wrote.

Answer 7

A good book or film the company of others helps the only problem with tricking your mind is that some times is does jump out on you some times. The best way is to work the prob out in your head a point that you are happy with.

Answer 8

When i start thinking back on bad things that has happened in the past i get outside into my garden as fast as i can. There i start weeding [yes, i know old people do it] i used to laugh at my father when he used to tell us it helps him to relax, but it is the truth. I take my camera and start photographing plants, insects anything that i find interesting and within seconds my thoughts of the past disappears. I also find reading a happy book specially books by Sophie Kinsella - Shopoholic, real light reading but hilariously funny takes my mind of things. Play with your dogs, they are always happy and keen to be patted and loved and they love you back like no other person can. Don't drink it just makes matters worse and you feel lousy when you wake up with a barby in the morning. Good luck to you and i hope you find lots of happiness :)

Answer 9

Go and see someone professoinal. Trust me, it sounds like you are at your wits end with all this, i feel so sorry for you. Try and go swimiming. When i get stressed out i go for a swim, you seem to forget about everything whilst in the freedom of water. Or, take your latest hobby to a futher extent, but i would still go and see the doctor, he/she will refer you to speak to someone.

Goodluck and takecare. xx

ps. You could try and duldge into a really good book, Martina Cole is a wicked writer, you never want her books to end, so chances are your mind will be in another world till you finish it. Why not try it, it might do you good to av a little read and go into another world. goodluck mate x

Answer 10

When a situtation that I cannot control bothers me, I take some time out and lay down in bed, propped up and think about it. If i need to cry, I cry. If I need to think of ways to solve it, I do that. If there is absolutely NOTHING i can do, I pray. I pray that God gives me strength to move past this. Im not a bible thumper, I dont even go to church, But Im very spiritual and Every time I've ever asked God to ease my mind, He does. Good luck to you!