has anyone lost their mother and father?

Question

i lost my mother at 16. i am now 26 and i just lost my father too, both due to illness.they were very young. i did not grow up with my mother so her death did not affect me to much but i was very close with my father and now that they are both gone i am lost, lonley, and hurt. my father got to meet 3 of my 4 children i named my last child after my father. he was in vietnam and he suffered dearly from being in that war but still he was very special to me. i have no other family and i am so very hurt and lonley. any spirit lifting advice or wisdom would be great to hear...

Answer 1

I will think good thoughts for you dear.

Look into your childs eyes. You can see pieces of your mother and father. Find joy in the little things they do. For they are now your family.

You have suffered a terrible loss. You have every right to grieve. Make your children top priority so you can focus on the now instead of what you have lost.

It will never stop hurting.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have lost both my father and mother. At first I was very angry. I miss them both so very much. Then I realised how lucky I was to have them both in my life no matter how short of a time it seemed. Not to get all emo on you, (Just to give you a little back round, I'm Catholic, and I try to go to church every week but just can't seem to make it. I believe in God and Trust in Him) I thank God everyday for them. My faith helped me through the hard times. Remember you are never alone. God is always there for you.

Now you can talk to your parents whenever and wherever you are. Keep the good memories alive. Share them with your children. Your children need you to be strong. You say you have no family. Your family is your children. Life changes. Make your children proud and be to them what your parents were to you.

I wish you the best.

Answer 3

I lost my mother a year and a half ago. It doesn't get any easier. I have just stopped dwelling on it all the time now. Not that I don't think about her often. As a matter of fact, I went out and bought one her favorite movies for my kids last weekend. We got "The Incredible Mr. Limpet". It was one of her all time favorites, and my kids have watched it no fewer than 6 times already. The worst for me was two days after the funeral my mother-in-law was over at our house, and we had the TV on to Deal or No Deal. A Marine in his dress blues was the contestant. I had to leave the room. Mom was a Marine and was buried with a full Marine Honor Guard. And guess what? All this talk about her funeral has got me crying again. It doesn't get any easier. I got a violation notice this weekend for telling some idjit what he could do with his hatred of the Corps.

Answer 4

i am 27 yrs old and i too have suffered losses like you. when i was 24 my father committed suicide. i was always a daddy's girl. i almost had a nervous breakdown. i think that you need to find someone to talk to about how you feel because until you can let go and give it to God then you will always hurt. i made the mistake of trying to get comfort from my mother. she seemed to be more interested in the fact that she lost her "greatest love" than the fact that her child just lost her father. (they had been divorced for 20 yrs) maybe you can find a good local support group.i am sorry for your loss but in time things will get better. just dont think that it will be tommorrow

Answer 5

Both my parents are gone - my dad when I was 26 and my mom when I was 35 - so not as young as you, but I do understand what you are going through. I was always sad that my dad didn't meet my son - he would have loved him. My son was four when my mom died, so he does remember her, and was around her a lot.
I guess I am fortunate, though, because I have five siblings and their families. We keep the memories alive through all of us. I suppose you had just better surround yourself with dear friends and workmates - have you no aunties or uncles or cousins at all?

Answer 6

I know how you feel. I lost my mom when I was 3 to a drunk driver. Then my dad died when I was 23 from leukemia. He never got to see me get married, or see my two boys. I feel cheated, and at times, resent my cousins for still having both their parents. It still hurts, even though my dad has been gone now for more than 13 years. All of our family traditions are gone, and now that I'm divorced, I don't know where I will spend Christmas and Thanksgiving this year. It helps if you have someone to talk to about it. My youngest sister and I are able to talk to each other about it, but my other two siblings won't talk about it at all. It also helps to have faith that you will see your parents again.

Answer 7

You will eventually deal with it, you will never recapture your loss. I lost my Dad back in 2001 and still think about him everyday. You have children so focus and concentrate on them. Lord knows that is a lifelong term. As it likely was for your Dad. Remember the good times and keep them close to you. When this world ends you will see your Dad again. Cherish the things he tried to teach you and the bravery he showed as a Soldgier and as a Father.

Answer 8

You sound just like me. 5 years ago I lost My Mother who was my "best friend", I had to make the descion to pull her off of life support, then just this past Nov. the EXACT same thing happenned to my Father. I had to pull him off of life support. 2 of the hardest descions to face me. I only have a brother, who lives far away, and no children. I am married, but a spouse is of no replacement for your blood.
I know how you feel. I had to go on antideppressants because of my deep depression. Please watch yourself for this. If you see it or feel it, go right to your doctor. It is so easy to feel this way.
If you are spiritual, that may help you get through this, but grieving is so darn hard. Especially when you become what I call the "orphan club". My heart goes out to you.
Call your friends, and couzins, or Aunts, or Uncles, or anyone left that will listen to you. I daily e-mail my brother just to hold the bond together.
Please be brave and realize they are where we all will be someday, and hope that you will reunite with them....
I am sorry I cannot help more than this, but I want you to know you are NOT ALONE, many of orphans out there....
Good luck and God Speed.

Answer 9

I lost my mom when I was 20. She will never see me graduate, or have children, or live my life. She died from cancer at 52... Who knew mid life was 26? She was the most amazing, giving, loving person I ever knew in my whole life. She was a girlscout leader for 15 years. She tought HUNDREDS of girls so much, and always gave her full attention and support to others in need. The only thing that keeps me going is that I KNOW in my heart that I will see her again someday.... Good luck to you.

Answer 10

i have not lost either of my parents yet, and i dont know what i will do when they do go. you must be strong, but tell someone that is close to you ex/ husband or close friend, about what you are feeling, or you could even go and see a psychiatrist, not that your crazy or anything they could just be someone that you can talk to without any biased opions,
i would say though that talking to someone about how you feel is very relieving, i may not have experienced the same things but i know what its like to feel hurt and lonley.
hope this helps and very sorry for the loss of your father
if you ever need to talk just send a message