I am muslim and I met a muslim girl and we fell inlove with each other, after a week she told me that she is not a virgin that she made a mistake and prays to Allah to forgive her for her mistake.. I understand that it was a mistake and I want to marry her, she never told her parents of her mistake and parents so her parents think she is still a virgin my parents also think shes a virgin. Now if I marry her is it 7araam on my part??? I want to Ostorha be because she understands her mistake and asks for forgivness from Allah.. now if I marry her do I get sawaab because I want to ostor her? also the wedding night as a custom both parents want to see her blood on a cloth the next morning. If I cut myself and put my own blood on the cloth and tell my parents its her virinaty blood and also do the same with her parents, would that be 7araam?? .. I just want to ostora is that 7araam?
2006-10-19 03:02:50 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
asalamwalaikum
what a beautiful human being you are to overlook her mistakes. you should definitely marry her. the loss of her virginity will be one night and one night only. it is the love and dedication you have already shown that will make a lasting marriage. she has repented to Allah who will decide her judgment, what does she owe to any of mankind? i would avoid the blood testing at all costs.... but this is just my opinion brother
Allah knows best
ramadan mubarak
2006-10-20 00:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by Submission 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Islamically, the only thing that binds you as a man is the chastity of your wife, not her virginity, contrary to what most eastern families teach.
Your wife could have been raped also, what were you to do then?
Most women will be raped and will never talk about it openly because families will not allow their sons to marry a girl whose not a virgin.
But marriage is between you and your wife. It is very sacred and trying to find out if she was a real virgin or not by seing her blood on the sheet is an IGNORANT and OPPRESSIVE behaviour.
I as a muslim woman will have to ask you not to break the sacredness of your marriage by letting your parents have their way.
Marry her if you love her and leave all else upto God.
Stand for your rights and her rights because it is very degrading to have to show your wifes proof of 'virginity' to people outside the marriage. The parents am afraid are strictly outside the marriage. Please support your rights and be afraid of breaking your wifes heart as God does not like hurtful people.
2006-10-19 03:10:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really like her and trust on her nature… what is that arrrraaaammm coming in between you??? Try to understand that you are living in the 21st century and trust your would be wife more than your superstitious parents! You should understand that certain customs and regulation --either for Hindus or for Muslims have been laid down way back centuries under certain compelling circumstances and if you and me {I am a Hindu Brahmin} still follow and relay on those rites and regulations then we are spoiling ourselves! Hence my dear brother accept my sister whole-heartedly and live along with her whole life with happy and hormone. When she has confessed her mistakes it is your humanity to forgive her and accept her as your beloved wife....
Assuming if you go after a wife {according to your parents} and do the "BLOOD TESTINS" and find the "TESTINGS" to be OK what is the guarantee that you will lead peaceful life after your marriage???
I am an astrologer who analysis the horoscope of every religions, Recently one your religion man- young and energetic man- approached me to get analyzed his horoscope because his newly married wife really wanted to marry another man of same religions and fighting with him daily-who tested positive in YOUR SO CALLED BLOOD TEST! Here the parents are satisfied but the boy and girls are at the verge of getting separated at any moments. However they are afraid fearing the parent’s outcome and they are still leading unsatisfactory married life!!!
Hence I suggest you that you live for your happy married life. Understand the heart of your wife, and lead a gentleman's life instead of leading a life under the pressure from the superstitious parents!!
2006-10-19 03:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by NUPAKRY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must really love that girl to be ready to cut yourself to make parents believe she is virgin. But are you really sure she is not that type of girl who just want to marry you and use you to cover her lost virginity before marriage? Beware, like Hazrat Ali said, women are scorpions whose poison is sweet.
It is not haram to marry her on the contrary it's a good act. Very good act. But again be sure she is not using you. Isnt Allah merciful? Then Allah will forgive her or has already forgiven her. I really admire what you want to do for this girl. Love is beyond good and evil my friend.
Good luck.
2006-10-19 03:08:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok how did this girl lose her virginity in the first place? If u lie to her parents and your parents that's not going to help matters at all. My suggestion is tell her parents and your parents and follow the Islamic laws regarding this kind of thing. What's the worst that will happen?
2006-10-19 03:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by baddrose268 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Commit the mistake again. What is the problem ? Oh life is full of such mistakes. Mistakes.. mistakes. mistakes.. repeat the mistakes so frequently that you become bored of mistakes..
and path of salvation will be opened to you.
Anything gone is gone. Raat gayi Baat gayi.. Do you understand me ? Nothing happens. Only your ideals and goals matter. Set your standards and accordingly decide your actions. Rest of things are waste of time and energy.
Eid Mubarak in Advance
2006-10-20 00:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by Deve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt have to prove to her parents or your parents shes a virgin, this is a cultural custom not an islamic custom, the bleeding one, she has asked for forgiveness from Allah, so its ok to marry her
2006-10-19 03:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a tough situation. I sympathize with you. I wish I could offer some advice, but I am new to Islam and I don't know a lot of these things. Pray to Allah for guidance, and best wishes to you both.
2006-10-19 03:06:35 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ terry g ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this question at the following website where answer is provided by Islamic Scholars:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1121601592958&pagename=IslamOnline-English-AAbout_Islam/Page/AskAboutIslamCounselingE
Allah is the most merciful and forgives all sins if the forgiveness is asked with an honest desire.
2006-10-19 04:14:16 · answer #9 · answered by Misnomer 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not 7aram to marry her, and cover up for her mistake...and on the wedding day, you dont have to show blood to anyone, it's not part of the religion, it's just stupid thoughts. Just tell them she's a virgin, and if they dont believe it, dont care about them, with all due respect of course, becuase she'll be YOUR wife, not someone else's
2006-10-19 03:14:07 · answer #10 · answered by AG 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋