We have been a relationship for over seven years and we have a child together. We recently just moved in together and since then he moved out twice to go back home with his parents. Now he's wanting to come back to me!! What should I do?? And to make matters worse I am talking to someone else who I now have strong
feelings for.
2006-10-19 02:31:51 · 19 answers · asked by T.J. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no, because he will do it again, and again!!!!
2006-10-19 02:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question you need to ask yourself is if you still have strong feelings for him? If you do, then maybe take him back but as far as letting him move back in. I say no you shouldn't let him do that.
If you are talking to someone else now and have strong feelings for him then don't take the other guy back. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean that you have to take him back. You deserve to be happy. If you're having doubts of the happiness of the relationship then take the time for yourself.
7 years is a long time for a relationship. Sometimes you just get caught up in it all that you may think that it has to last forever even when it's not going well. That's not so at all.
It sounds to me he is confused in what he wants. If he is then don't get caught up in that. Leave him be, go on with your life. He needs to figure out what he wants. And if you continue to take him back each time then he's having the upper hand and basically walking all over you.
Be strong! Let him know that the come and going isn't acceptable at all and you won't let allow him to do it to you any more nor your child you share together, it's not fair to you or the child.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
2006-10-19 02:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by Lori D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lady who recommended counselling is right on. The counselor is the best one for you to ask, maybe a lawyer too.
There is so much that you haven't said. Did he beat you? Did he cheat on you? Did he spend too much, rack up too many bills? Did he abuse drugs and alcohol?
You have to take all this into consideration. What are the chances the former bf will reform his behaviour? And the new guy? What problems will he bring to your relationship? Is this new guy really that much better?
You have to be able to separate your feelings from your reasoning, and think clearly and carefully, what will be the best for you in the long run. Because if you don't think and decide based on the evidence at hand, and what your counselor advises you, then your feelings are liable to be trampled anyway.
2006-10-19 02:59:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him one more chance. Relationships are very difficult & even if you have tried already looks like you need to try one more time to make it work (if you love him). IMen are unfortunately not as mature as women and most probably it is difficult for him to realise what is going on (the child, moving in with you). Try & if it doesn't work out go on with your life. However, in case you decide to take him back shake him up a little bit. Like tell him that he is back in on a month trial basis, scare him & make him understand that this is his LAST chance. As for the other guy, I do not really know, but it doesn't look like you are in the right emotional state to jump into a new relationship.
Best luck to you!
2006-10-19 03:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by marissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems he still does not have the maturity to become a father. But he is the father of your child, don't you want to patch things up? If that is not possible for you , then talk to him first and tell him the facts about how you feel. Don't jump into another relationship if you haven't resolved the first one. It will only make things complicated.
2006-10-19 02:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well after seven years I am guessing you should know better if he is a really good guy you should give him another chance for your baby sake.
But , if you feel that you truly have no more feelings toward him then talk to him and let him know your feelings so if you guys stay apart he will still have his relationship with his daughter.
As for the new guy if it is meant to be he will wait until you can fix this problem with your baby daddy
Don't open a new door unless you have completely closed the other one.
Good Luck
2006-10-19 02:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by Solitaire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the dude, usually when it's at that point where they have to ask for 2nd chance, nothing good comes out of it later. Especially that now you have somebody else to talk to ....
2006-10-19 02:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kisawanta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the guy go as you said you moved on with your life. SO why should you keep it on hold just when he needs you? Make him understand that it is over, you are independant, self-reliant, respected and dont need his sorry *** around. Be strong!
2006-10-19 02:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by Rock Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really up to you. If you don't want to be with him and want to be with this other guy, don't take him back. If you still love him and want to give him another chance, take him back and tell him if he does it again, that is it. You don't want people to play games with you
2006-10-19 02:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by Billys girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope. if he goes running back to mommy and daddy each tiem then u have a problem. just move on....u are better off with someone that is more grown up and can make it financially own their own.
2006-10-19 02:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face reality. This relationship is obviously on the rocks.
2006-10-19 02:33:40 · answer #11 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋