How do I stop my 3 year old sleeping in my bed?

Question

I have a 3 year old daughter and made the mistake of letting her sleep in my bed from a young age now she comes in every night. I've tried putting her back in hers sometimes up to 5 times a night but she keeps waking up and coming back into my bed and its really affecting my sex life any suggestions

Answer 1

Make her bed her special place. Help her pick out a special sleeping pillow or blanket or toy that she uses just for sleep time. Make sure you read to her or whatever your nightime routineis do it in her room. Make a big production about her being able to sleep in her own room but let her know you are close by if she needs you but always return her gently to her own room. It will take a while but be patient with her. She really just wants to know you are close by and may just need reassurance.

Answer 2

My now three year old did the same up until a year ago. What I did was I made up a little bed beside ours on one of those fold out couches for kids on the floor. So when she woke up in the night I just told her to lay back down, and assured her that it was allright we were still here. She then got used to sleeping on her own. Then one day I did her room up, got it looking nice and preety (assure that your little one is looking on so she knows what you are doing), put a nice quilt cover set on, and encouraged her the whole time that this was her special bed, and this is where she was to go to sleep at night. I could't believe the results, she has now been sleeping in her own bed for nearly a year. It would help to put her to bed an hour or so before you and your husband go to bed so when she goes off to sleep she still hears movement and noise, this gives her the assurance that you are still there and that she is not alone, also don't close her door, and Oh don't forget to praise her when she does.

Answer 3

My son came into my bed until he was 9 or 10. I used to put him to bed in his own bed every night but he got into a routine of at 3 a.m. waking up going to loo and coming into my bed. When I started snoring he went back to his own bed in disgust and has been back since! I would suggest perservering with your putting her back to her own bed. I saw on the super nanny programe that if your child is scared of her room and thinks there are monsters/ghosts hidden, you must have a special monster ridding ceremony... speak to her first and find out why she doesn't like her room then make a big thing of going to buy some fairy wands and glitter and get all the family together to and rid the room of all the spooks. If she persists in getting up at night tell her they have all gone and there is nothing to worry about. But be firm and keep putting her back to her bed, even if it takes 100 times over a week or so. Good luck.

Answer 4

The biggest mistake was starting it in the first place. You will just have to keep returning her each time she comes in your bed- even if this means doing it the whole night. She will eventually give in when she knows that you are not having it. Try rewarding in the morning if she manages to stay in her own bed. This will be very painful but unless you are willing to go through with it- do not start it. Enduring will now be you biggest test. Good luck!!!!

Answer 5

What I did was, I tug them to their bed. But before that, I drum up the idea of having their own bed, and get them excited.

When they reach about 1 plus, before turning 2, I plan with them on the things to get for them, the soft toy, stickers etc. May sure it is something nice and attractive.

Now my kids sleeps on their own. I only allow them on my bed with I know I am not having sex, as a family time together. Anyway, they will soon lost the interest of sleeping with you, when they reach 9 or 10.

Answer 6

You created the "monster" now you're going to have to "un create" it. And if it means walking her back to her room 10 times a night you'll have to do it. As for your sex life that can be done with the child in bed with you...they don't know what is going on and will usually just go to sleep because it is of no interest to them. I know because more than once my daugther crawled into bed with my now ex husband and myself when we were "going at it". It wasn't until we were "finished" that she would be discovered...doesn't seem to have done any damage. BTW she's now 20 years old.

Answer 7

This is a very common question these days, and really it shouldn't be. I know it will be hard, but you have to set the law down and if she disobeys, discipline. I know there aren't many people who actually discipline, but why not? You kid isn't going to become a awful child if you spank her once in a while, or scold her. That is what is very wrong with children in this day and age. The bottom line is, if you tell the child to do something, and they come back a second time disobeying your orders, then you have to discipline!

Answer 8

I feel for you i really do, my only suggestion is to rapid return, when she wakes return her but explain why, second time return her but say very little, third time and all times after that return her with no eye contact and no chat. this may take several nights but she will learn that having her own space at night is lovely. Make sure her room is warm and cosy, she has a comforter e.g a favourite teddy bear and give her plenty of praise the longer she goes it alone. you will get there hun, it takes time and a lot of your patience, you may feel bad but you'll all feel so much better in the long run. I wish you all the luck in the world, please keep us posted xx

Answer 9

Tell her she's a big girl now and it's time she slept in her own bed and then make a huge deal out of it when she finally does. Or, don't sleep in your bed for a while, sleep on the couch where there's not enough room for her.

Answer 10

You really need to be firm with her. She needs to know that she has to listen. Tell her you will reward her the next day if she stays in her bed. Talk about her room and her bed in a way which she will appreciate it. Maybe buy a book about children's bedrooms, show her pictures of them, or even change something in her room to make her appreciate it more.