Do you think my boyfriend is still in love with his ex?

Question

Hi all.
Yesterday, I've accidentally found a draft of a letter in my boyfriend's room. It was so obvious, half open on the desk, so I couldn't resist reading it while he was fixing breakfast.

What I saw there was a word, "mon amour," to start with. Even though I don't speak French, I know what it means. He's told me quite few details about the relationship with his ex - they went through a lot, during few years of living together, and separated in pain at the end of the summer last year.

He has been caring for me a lot, like nursing me when I'm ill, or trying to help my family members. However, I'm almost sure he feels the same about her. ...It was such a long letter.

Do you all agree?

I should leave him if he's not ready to move on, but how can I find out without him knowing that I've read his letter?

I'm very confused... :( Please help!

Answer 1

Hey!

Don't be jumping to conclusions already! You don't know for sure what it's all about.. Why don't you sit him down and ask him what he really wants to do.. Communication is key in every relationship.. Today you've found a letter, tomorrow god knows what you'll find... Talk to him about it before he does anything stupid like going back for her..

He's done so much for you maybe you should turm the tables and spoil him abit.. Make a romantic surprise dinner for him or take him out to do something fun.. Never seize to remind him how much you love him. MAke sure his mind is off her.. Get funky in the bedroom..if you know what i mean...

WHen you do talk to him about it, don't bring up the letter you found. Just talk generally about his ex and tell him that you want to be there for him and if anything, you understand what he's going through and you wan tthe best for him.. Pour out your heart to him... If he's sensible, he'll choose you!

Lots of luck! You're gonna need it :)

Answer 2

You need to let him know you found the letter, which was laying out there for you to see.
Mon amour could refer to a person he loves from afar, it doesn't mean he has to be in love with her now.
When relationships break up and go through alot of pain, the healing time is very long, and face it ,when you spend years of your life with someone, you don't forget overnight.
You might be jumping to conclusions.
But don't put yourself through alot of worry.
You should ask him, don't sound hurt or angry, but be an adult about it....Ask for the truth, as you deserve to hear it.
If he is still hung up on her, then yes, I would move on, because you will always be living in her shadow, no matter how much he does for you.
You want 100% of his love not leftovers.....

Answer 3

Ok... You read a letter in which your boyfriend called her ex MY LOVE. Does the entire letter give you FACT ORIENTED evidence that he is in a relationship with her? Or in the letter he is talking about all his fillings about her? Or he is talking about the past? Or maybe he is talking about a "coming back"?

In the first place, it was wrong to read your boyfriend's letter. Second, you should tell him. I know that he WILL get mad for that, but just telling him about it will let him know that you care for him and that you are telling the truth because you want to respect him; remember to APOLOGIZE FOR READING HIS LETTER.

Third... It seems that he loves you, for what you have said about him, but you should get this big QUESTION answered, and he is the only one that can answer. When asking him, and let me tell you again, ASKING, not arguing, look for his non-verbal (body language) answer, and then you'll see if he is telling the truth or not.

Respect him, that is the rule of thumb. You girls are attracted by love, we are attracted by how much respect we receive; NEVER FORGET IT.

Answer 4

Sit him down and ask him general questions about love and relationships then ask him how did he know he was over his last love...see what he says and read his body language if his answers are short. I dont think a real man would put himself in a new relationship and show genuine love and care for somebody if he wanted somebody else...but only you can know this for sure and you should find out by asking him.

Answer 5

Play it by ear. Maybe your are the rebound. Or maybe he does really care about you. Then you would be foolish to leave. I say Stay with him and see what good comes of it. My ex bf from 4 years ago loves me still and he is married now. I know nothing will come of it even if he wasn't married. He likes to stay intouch with me. Depends on how you view your bf's integrity. If he is strong they yes stay but if you know he is weak then it would be best to leave.

Answer 6

Any relationship has to be able to handle honesty. So be honest tell him you read the letter. Explain you concerns regarding his ex and take it from there.

Answer 7

You should sit down and talk about it. If he puts on the offensive and turns it around on you, "Why were you snooping around my room" stuff, then you know that he is guilty. But, if he is willing to sit down and talk about it, then that means that he really does care about you and wants to work through it.

Talking is hard, but its the best way to solve things.

Answer 8

if he still has stuff like that, then he isn't over his relationship. you can leave him if you want, but it will hurt him. although if he still IS in love with his ex. you don't want to be in the way of his life. Sometimes you have to whats best for your partner, rather than what you want.

Answer 9

I would give it al little time and maybe ask him about and tell him to be honest and say your not gonna get mad at him just please be honest. b/c i did the same thing with my boyfriend and i think he still has feelings for his ex b/c he used to talk bout what great times they had with each other and stuff! finally one dya i just said im tired of you comparing me to your ex and please tell me if you still have feelings for her! and he said yes and im trying to forget about her and he was like give it a little time for me to get to know you and start to love you and she'll be out of my mind! so basically what im trying to say is give it time and ask him questions about it!

Answer 10

Sounds like he is still hung up on her. Move on to new grounds. Find someone that wants only you.