I've been in a relationship almost a year now, I've told my girldfriend I love her (which I do) about eight months ago. She still hasn't said it to me. I am not flawless, and neither is she however I try my best, I randomly buy her flowers, I tell her I love her a million times and I'll randomly call her just to make her smile. The only negative aspect about me is that I tend to get upset very early.
I sometimes think she loves me, however at other times her actions prove to me otherwise. She is a very kind and considerate person however, I feel like she puts me on the back burner at times. When I tell her this her reaction is, "How do you know if your on mind or not", but her actions prove that I am not to me.
I don't know what to do, its really bothering me. Before when I told her this, she couldn't sleep for days thinking of why she didn't love me, now I don't even tell her because I don't want her to suffer but its killing me inside.
What should I do.
-Thanks
-Jack
2006-10-19 01:44:48 · 19 answers · asked by Jack 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ever hear the saying "Don't throw pearls before swine"?
Pull back a little bit and see if she persues you (and stop telling her you love her so much - you can't convince someone to love you back!).
If she doesn't, find a girl who will appreciate your efforts.
2006-10-19 01:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by NEWTOME 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If her actions prove she really doesn't love you then I guess she doesn't. However, you're right not to pressure her to say it and stay with her despite the fact it's been 4 months of her silence. Perhaps, she cares about you a lot and being kind is in her nature and for those reasons it sounds you want to be serious. Maybe she's not ready for that much commitment...perhaps she likes being single and going out w/ girlfriends on the spur of the moment and this is why you feel left out/ on the back bunner at times? I guess my general impression is she really cares about you (perhaps is a little scared about saying she loves you?) and isn't ready for any commitment. However, one half of the relationship shouldn't suffer. If you're really hurting about this you should talk to her...think about what you want...more commitment...reassurance she cares about you...and tell her you want to feel that more and just need to hear it no matter how irrational that sounds 'cause love is irrational. Well not sure if that helped but I took my best guess for you Jack!
2006-10-19 01:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Jack, you need to back off a little. No one wants to be flogged with I love you... If you say it too often, then it becomes meaningless. You need to relax and chill a bit... Stop being in her face and don't be whiny and whimpy... a girl hates that!!!!
Be a little more elusive and not so much around, so that she will be wondering where you might be and what you are doing, instead of you camping on her doorstep.
You are invading her space too much and you are going to smother her and you will be history,,.
It is time to spend more time with your friends
and don't be so clinggy.....
You don't have to tell someone constantly that you love them, you should show it by your actions.
Mum's the word keep the "L" word a secret for a while. See what happens!!!!
2006-10-19 01:52:56 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Jack, I don't what her history is so it's a hard one to answer.
If she has had a bad relationship, she might be afraid to say she loves you.
You sound loving, attending, and romantic. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like you are getting these things in return.
Analyze the relationship. Are your needs being met? Are you happy?
We tend to want those things in return that we give, and it hurts when the companion isn't capable, or willing to supply these wants.
Only you know whats happens day, to day in your relationship. So only you can decide if loving her is worth the heart ache, or if you are being too sensitive.
2006-10-19 01:53:19 · answer #4 · answered by LucyLinnae M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That sounds to me like unreturned love. You love her too much perhaps and she is too blind to see it. Maybe you are coming on to her too strongly and she just wants things to be slower. If a girl really loves you, you will know for sure. Tell her you don't feel loved, and tell her you are taking the decision to take it slower just like she is. Have you told her she hasn't said she loves you? Tell her that and let her know you'll be waiting for her answer and silence would mean she doesnt feel anything.
2006-10-19 01:58:45 · answer #5 · answered by Sofia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the simpliest solution is just talk about it. Ask her why she hadn't yet said 'I love you' and why, in a restful moment and calmly. Try to - with care and gently - get out of her why it's happening so. Take care.
2006-10-19 01:50:04 · answer #6 · answered by Iguana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound needy and seeking validation. Can't imagine telling anyone a million times that I love them when its not reciprocated
2006-10-19 01:49:04 · answer #7 · answered by Cdn_Superdave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw....if she doesn't love u..it's her lost. u seem like a great guy. u should talk to her. tell her what u just told us. let her know that it's ok to say she loves ur or to say she doesn't. u'll still love her either way.
2006-10-19 01:48:52 · answer #8 · answered by Carmen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't tell, then she doesn't.
You need to work on yourself, not her. Leave her alone, develop your hobbies, skills, and passions, and she will come running.
2006-10-19 01:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by her 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She posted the other night that she doesn't love you
2006-10-19 01:46:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋