My pastor told me to pray about marriage-- I'm only 19!!?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year, and we're both Christians in college who have prayed daily about whether our relationship is God's will for us. My pastor told me yesterday to pray to God "Is he the one I'm supposed to marry?" in those exact words. Pastor said that if I get an answer, great. If not, then no problem either. That makes me really scared. What kind of answer am I supposed to expect-- what kind of conviction if the answer is "no"?? What do I even look for? Please help us... Thanks. And for the ones who like to answer "just marry him!"... it's really not that simple... :-( We want to do God's will.

Answer 1

Keep praying for God's will, I do not see any rush here the two of you are attending college and trying to obtain an education. Congratulations for that by the way. What is the hurry? If the two of you are not to be together God will make his will known to you. Keep doing what you are doing, stay steadfast in prayer. The love you have for each other will obviously grow if it is God's will for the two of you to marry, but what would be the rush, finish college first. Unless of course the two of you are having a sexual relationship, then ofcourse you are to get married. Good luck and God bless

Answer 2

Is marriage even on the table at this point? Does it need to be? Why not just enjoy your relationship as it is for a while? What's the rush?

Is there some benefit he'll receive if the two of you get married? Unless you're leaving something out, he sounds really pushy. Why's he trying to marry you off while you're still in college?

As for whether it's god's will for you to marry - are you expecting an engraved invitation or something? Can't you make up your own mind?

Whether or not god is in the picture, I've always said that when you meet the right person, you'll know it. If you're waffling, then either he is not the right person, or it's just not the right time.

Tell your pastor to take a chill pill, and focus on your studies for a while.

Answer 3

This is similar to a kind of prayer in Islam that is called 'estekhara' or couseling when you pray to have enlightment from Allah concerning a step you are about to take.

It is not like a superstitious thing or that you will hear a knock at your door or so. But if you are tuned with yourself and with the world around you, you get signals and someitmes revelation in your sleep, something you feel in your heart that leads you to the point of a final decision and the relief it brings. At other times, you get nothing of those but as you are proceeding to do the thing, you face all kind of complications and things just don't work.

Allah is always there and is ready to help us. Just stretch out a hand and He will help you out. Remember that you are both still very you young and there is no ruch.

Terrorismbuster: what does your long answer have to do with the question?

Answer 4

How long have the two of you been dating? Are you sexually active? Living together? Maybe your Pastor just wants to make sure you both are ready for what may happen. If you're sexually active and living together (not that I'm saying you are, I don't know), he could be worried about you. Or, if you're not, he might think the two of you will make a great couple. Finish school first, look for your sign while you're at it. You're still young. I didn't notice your Pastor saying, Marry him, just to pray to see if he's the one.

Answer 5

I think you should pray for knowing if he's the one. This just comes to you sooner or later. That is what I'm sure your pastor meant. You can also pray to find a good husband, the one God wants you to live with, and also pray for to be a good wife for him. Of course, this doesn't mean you have to marry him as soon as you know. Anyway, the answer you'll just know, like a simple knowing as in other situations. That's how it happens. Take care, my dear

Answer 6

You have plenty of time to decide. You are only 19. Take it from someone who married too young myself. I married at 20 and that was way too young. I am not the same person I was then. We all change. People are still kids until about age 25 or so.

Main thing about marriage is both people need to be compatable, but that is not the only thing. Your dreams and goals should be the same or very similar.

Main things to agree on is children, how many when and can each put up with the others family. I strongly suggest people marry someone of the same religious faith and need to agree on these. My mother was Baptist and my father was Jesus only Pentecostal and it was torment growing up in that household. That being said I was church of Christ and my second wife Baptist but I baptized her 2 months after marriage and we became one in faith but now she is still Christian church of Christ and I am now pagan Wicca to be exact, but we still get along because she respects my decision but does not agree with it. She has never tried to change me at all, nor I her.

You need to be able to sit down with your husband and talk things over, and both come to a decision together. Contrary to popular thinking, Marraige does not have a boss. You are equal partners. Also if you cannt agree on something then you both must agree on the compromise. If you cannot do this with anyone you are considering marrying, then do not marry them no matter how you feel after praying.

I stayed with my first wife 19 years due to my religious beleif at the time and I did not beleive in divorce. I should not have married her, but I was young and did not know myself or her.

I have been with my second wife will be 14 years this December 15. and we have a very good strong marriage. This time I made sure who I was what I needed in a woman and made sure she was doing the same. I am 17 years older than she is but that works fine for us. It sometimes makes me mad when people think I married young to recapture my youth. I did not date anoyne younger than 5 years younger then myself for a long time and I did not find anyone I was compatable with. I married her because of who she is and how well we get along not because of age.

I advise against marrying anyone who you feel the need to change. I know you did not mention this, but far too many women try and change their husbands. If you feel the need to change him, then don't marry him.

Praying is okay and nice but far too often people feel good or bad after praying and believe God has answered then wonder years down the line what happenned. Prayer and feelings afterward should never replace common sense and judgement when making a decision like this.

Answer 7

i believe your pastor is right - if you don't feel he's the one you should marry then you shouldn't be wasting eithers time and getting yourselves in the possibility of "trouble". you seem like a strong gal who is morally astute - going to your pastor at all it a huge plus! no one can tell you what to look for as it's different with each person. God will impress upon your heart - as long as your heart knows Him - what the asnwer is to be.
God Bless you!!!

Answer 8

o, every situation in a Christians life is a matter of obedience and submission in his/her Lord. I think it is very good that you seek to find and do God's will. I'm sure He will show it to you, since you want to obey. However, mind that during the process of finding His will, you keep your vessels in "sanctification and honour".
But learning how to handle our bodies properly is not always easy
We all know (and "been there") that, included in the gift of our bodies is a remarkable capacity to churn out certain hormones that pour into the bloodstream (now, I don't mean to teach chemistry to a prominent chemistry student, do I?). Those hormones have a profound effect upon the way our bodies function. At puberty, new hormones pour into the bloodstream and we experience sexual changes, along with which come very powerful drives that urge us, and almost seem to compel us, to certain sexual activities. Sometimes, handling our bodies is the most difficult and undesirable thing in the world.

I think, a better order of the things would be first to pray if you both are for one another, then start relating in holiness and self-restrained having in advance the perspective of getting married. Since you want to do God's will, you have to be ready and grateful for His "yes"s and "No"s.

I think your pastor is right in this, because maybe he is moved by what the scriptures say... "For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and honour, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don't know God; that no one should take advantage of and wrong a brother or sister in this matter; because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as also we forewarned you and testified. For God called us not for uncleanness, but in sanctification. Therefore he who rejects doesn't reject man, but God, who has also given his Holy Spirit to you." (1 Thess. 4:3-8)
Moreover, Paul, through the Spirit, says in 1 Cor 7:9 about the unmarried... "But if they don't have self-control, let them marry. For it's better to marry than to burn."

I don't want to go deeper into it because I might seem indiscrete (if not already). I do not presume any of your acts and it is not any of my business at all anyway. I'm sure that God will lead your path.
God bless you, keep you and strengthen you.
“Good luck” with your studies.

Answer 9

Me and my boyfriend have been together for three years...he's starting college next year and I'll be a sophmore....You've only been dating a year...we didn't want to even talk about marriage at first,now we know that it's what we want after school...disregard people that say your to young...you know love when you feel it.
If your not sure now,just give it some time....your relationship will grow.

Answer 10

If you are questioning the wisdom of marriage, then God has given you your answer. At least wait until you are both older, finished with your education, and there is no doubt in your minds that marriage is what you want.