We live together and we got in a huge fight about a week ago. He got flustered and said he wanted to break up, so we haven't been on speaking terms for days. I've been staying over at friends' houses for the past couple of days, and that's the only time he's contacted me (to see if I'm with another guy). Two nights ago he said he wanted me to come home and spend the night with him, and I told him I was concerned he'd just discard of me again, and I didn't hear anything from him after that. So I came home last night instead of going out hoping that he would initiate contact, but he ignored me the same as always. I am at a loss at what to do. I don't want to lose him and we have 10 months left in our lease together, but he is sending me mixed signals that I don't know how to interpret. I am afraid to talk to him in fear he will reject me, yet waiting for him to come to me isn't working either. Why is he acting this way. And what should I do? :(
2006-10-19 00:47:13 · 17 answers · asked by 123123123 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh .. and if you are going to respond with something sarcastic and mean just to get your points, I'd rather you not answer at all.
2006-10-19 00:48:39 · update #1
i think you really love this guy and he knows it and you are letting him abuse you emotionally and if you stay with him you are up to more hurt so if i am in your place i'll just dumped the guy and get another boyfriend who will treat you better, not take you for granted and give you love the way you love him!
2006-10-19 00:52:14 · answer #1 · answered by livinhapi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, and not being sarcastic. Dump him, hon. He's an immature, insecure fool who isn't worth your time. He calls and asks you to come home, then ignores you? Baby, he'd last about 5 minutes with me. Kick his a** to the curb and find yourself a room mate to share the lease with. You say you don't want to lose him, but what's to lose? You deserve better. Some things really are deal breakers, and this kind of behavior is one of them, because it won't change.
Best of luck.
2006-10-19 00:53:59 · answer #2 · answered by Nightlight 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a look at this book: Same Words Different Language by Barbara Annis. The fact that he ignores you maynot mean that he doesnot care for you. Of course, you are the best jugde, but the book may help you judge best.
Of course, by reading the book you will be taking a break and this may help you clear your head.
2006-10-19 00:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by Totally Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm sweetie it sounds like he has already broken up with you.. So I would give him a taste of his own medicine.. Ignore him when you are around.. like sit on the couch and read a book and act like you don't even know he is there. Pretend it doesn't even bother you that he isn't talking to you.. Go out to lunch with friends and movies .. just go live the "single" life.. and when he finally comes over to you and starts talking to you just tell him.. Hey you didn't want to be around or talk to me so I'm not going to force someone to be with me.. I bet his tune will change when he is on the receiving end of the neglect.
2006-10-19 00:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by Steph y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long were you together before you decided to live together and did you both make the descision? And what did you expect him to do when you went home did you initiate any contact or just expect him to do it. I';d ask him what he wants and ask where he see's himself in 5 yrs are you part of it and if he can't give you any kind of answer your looking for then leave. Have you to tried communication?
2006-10-19 00:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by sez75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go home and try to talk to him about it. it might be he is scared about commitment and of moving too fast (since it sounds like you all just moved in together). if he rejects u then u are still in the same boat ur in right now (since he isnt talking to u at all right now either) and if he does reject u then move out before he does. (hopefully both of u didnt sign the lease, if its just his name then leave him standing with the bill...guys understand financial more than emotional. if its in joint names then u might be stuck. if its in ur name then kick him out! and find a roomie)
2006-10-19 00:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fear of rejection is sometimes worse than the actual rejection, has all to do with our own insecurities, go to him talk to him from your heart, if he still rejects you than it's his loss not yours, atleast in your mind you will know you made an effort. he acts this way bacause he also fears rejection from you, so be the first to go to him, lay it all out, be honest about how you feel, and if he rejects you than move on. right now you have a chance to communicate with him, don't wait till he finds someone else to ease his pain.
2006-10-19 00:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to be cliche - but treat yourself the way that you want him to treat you. If he can tell that you are a train that is moving (and I don't mean that you are necessarily moving out of his life) but that you are fulfilled regardless of what HE does. That your happiness is independent of his affection - but that you VALUE him regardless, there will just be something that he won't be able to put his finger on - but will find himself more attracted to you.
Love yourself (not narcisism) but truly enjoy yourself and the world will love you too. It just can't help itself.
2006-10-19 00:53:37 · answer #8 · answered by Wae 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u shld let down ur pride n talk to him..if he doesnt respond at least u tried..then u can take drastic decisions like dumpin him....if u knw u won t regret it..or u cld keep on the game n see who will break first..
2006-10-19 00:52:15 · answer #9 · answered by lady c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he's man enough to live with someone then he needs to be man enough to work out the problems. If he can't, then he's not the right one for you.
2006-10-19 00:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋