After talking on the phone for 3 hrs. a man told me I was very pretty, accomplished & could have any guy I wanted. I just got out of a relationship & told him I needed time to myself.
A month later, I asked him to go on work travel.
A week after that I asked if he was seeing someone special because I would like to call him every once in a while. He said no and said give me a "shout". I called him once a week for 2 weeks. We talk a long time but he never calls 1st. I finally asked if he was just being polite. He said no we had developed a relationship more than friends. He again told me he wasn't seeing anyone special. I said call me.
After 5 days he hadn't called. I left a message saying the reason I asked him to go on travel next week was I wanted to see him. He called back & seemed nervous. We talked about being together & being discreet. I said "you could call sometimes". He joked and said "okay sometimes" like that was my name. He never really answered about calling.
2006-10-18 22:43:11 · 13 answers · asked by coolstreem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only time he worked for you was in the beginning phone call. Ever since, you were the one picking up the phone and doing the work. And you said to call. He didn't do it, you left a message, than he finally calls to talk about being discreet. Doesn't sound good. He should be the one doing the heavy lifting, that way you will know if he really does care for you. Enough, don't you think? Look elsewhere, he has your digits.
2006-10-18 23:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by wondering 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First; If he said you were very pretty, and could have any guy you wanted, then you need to call him on this. Be straight forward, and ask him, "If I could have any guy I wanted, then is there a problem if I wanted you"? I have a strong feeling this guy is gay! I could be wrong, but there is something in the closet here, and it needs to come out before you end up hurting yourself, because you had this picture all wrong. He may even be married, and is afraid to tell you. I don't think anybody in the world is this shy, but it could be. I think I would rule out the shy thing, due to the fact he talked to you for 3 hours. He might be shy IF he had never talked to you before, but for him to not call you, he doesn't want to leave a trail his wife can follow, such as a number that shows up on his cell phone bill. I am 100% sure he is hiding something from you, and whatever it is, is not good! Stop calling him, and see what happens. Just tell him, you can't call someone who doesn't have the courtsey to call you too. This is not how people that are attracted to each other would act!! Ask him IF he is being honest with you, and why he won't call you. It is usually the guys job to call a woman, and not the other way around. Don't chase this guy, make him chase you, because if he thought you could in fact have anyone you wanted, then he is excluding himself from that list, and trying to be polite about it. Stop calling him, and if he is truly interested in you, he will start calling you. If not, then give it up girl. Good Luck!!!
2006-10-18 23:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man is not interested in a relationship. Sex' Maybe. But that's all. And 1 other thing. I bet he feels like you are throwing yourself at him. If he was interested he would call. Never call a man first' Let him call first. That way you don't come off pushy. As far as being "discreet". A man only wants to be that way when he is hiding something. If he doesn't call you from here on out don't call him. He will think you are one of those stalker types that can't take a hint.
2006-10-18 22:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm a guy just about like the one you described. I can never take the initiative, I can never call first. However if you call me, and once we got past the first several minutes the coast was clear and I could talk for hours. I think he likes you but he may have some deep problems as I do. He's got to help himself first, be care full this may be a Pandora's Box.
2006-10-18 23:18:36 · answer #4 · answered by tnagew 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like he likes you, but he is very nervous. He may be afraid of committment, he may be afraid of seeing you in person, he may be afraid it won't work out, or he may just plain be afraid. That fear can be more than enough motivation to not want to call you first, but wait for you to call. It's not that he doesn't want to talk to you, he probably just isn't sure of himself, or of the situation. Maybe he feels pressured by you, and that's making him uncomfortable.
Whatever it is, be patient with him. He may just need some time to feel comfortable. Some people can move very fast in relationships and be very comfortable, but others only feel comfortable moving slowly, sometimes very slowly, at least at first.
Think about what you say to him, how you talk to him. Is there anything you have said or done that you think may make him uncomfortable? Could you say or do anything that might make him feel more comfortable with you? Have you sat down and talked with him, and honestly told him how you felt? Beating around the bush about your feelings might seem romantic (thanks to Hollywood), but it works SO much better if you are open and honest about how you feel about someone. If he knows how you feel, and feels like this is a sure thing that is going to work out, and that he isn't likely to get hurt, he may loosen up and be more bold. Try to be encouraging to him too, and whatever you do, don't nag him about calling you, just push gently and carefully.
There is the possibility that he may have something to hide too... don't jump on him about it, but keep an eye and an ear open. Get to know him better, learn more about him, proceed with caution.
2006-10-18 22:58:59 · answer #5 · answered by The Link 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It seems that he is not interested but you can't be sure because there are persons like him. They expect the other person to play. Give him some time without calling him and see what happens.
If he doesn't call you, call him and talk to him. You will know.
2006-10-18 22:55:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
save yourself the grief. he sounds sketchy and is probably hiding something. He seems like he isn't that interested if he doesn't take the initiative to call you.
2006-10-18 22:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by Christopher45 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound as though he is leaping at the opportunity...and he obviously isn't much of a communicator. You might want to consider moving on here.
2006-10-18 23:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's probably married or otherwise engaged. At any rate shouldn't a man be fighting for the right to be with you? So yeah, let this one slide.
2006-10-18 22:47:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes save the grief --- he sounds like he is in a relationship already
2006-10-18 23:07:10 · answer #10 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋