What is your opinion on spanking a child?

Question

I have to do a paper in college about the different ways parents punish their children. If you don't believe in spanking, tell me why? What are other ways parents punish their children?

Answer 1

Children should be spanked. I am talking about a little spanking, not abuse.

Some people say no good can come from spanking, but in reality, children that are spanked develop a great sense of respect and obedience towards their parents and grow up to be people of good.

Things are tough these days, if you wanna play Modern parent, letting your kids on their own, thinking that only with Trust they will follow a good path, you're wrong. They're just kids, they really need guidance,they need help, they need someone to show them whats right or wrong.

Answer 2

Some people say I am oversimplistic. But I strongly believe there is way too little spanking. And what spanking there is, is often done ineffectively.

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.


I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get. And I don't mean for every little thing but not just as a last resort either. The real key to making it work is consistency.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents. For more of discusion of this see what some of the research actually says at http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

There is a reason parents have been spanking since time immemorial. The anti-spanking movement is very new. And like a lot of new untested ideas I am convinced it is wrong.

Answer 3

There is a difference in spanking a child and beating a child. Yes I believe in spanking BUT only after other methods have failed. I always start with time out or the loss of privledges. When I do spank them it is always with a hand and only one or two swats on the bottom, this way I can feel how hard they are hit which isn't hard just enough to get their attention. Using a belt or a paddle is ok I guess only with these you can hit harder than you intend and you wouldn't know it. NEVER spank a child anywhere except on the butt. I was in high school back in the 80's. I got spanked my friends did it was the way to go and we had problems as all kids do but we were not near as rude and disrespectful as kids are now, we didn't have kids coming into schools with guns killing classmates and parents not the teachers were the ones to teach a child right from wrong. Not everyone agrees and feel spanking just shows a child that hitting is ok and all I can say is to each their own but I know how I turned out and I know my kids are well behaved, respectful kids as well.

Answer 4

As a child, I was spanked. Not excessively, and always with an explanation of what I did wrong, which I think was important. It doesnt bother me at all that I was spanked, I turned out to be a loving mother, and I know my parents loved me very much. Most of the time, just the threat of a swat was enough to keep me in line. And they didnt spank me when I was old enough to be humiliated by it. It really depends on the child. For my brother, spankings didnt bother him. Grounding didnt bother him. Lectures didnt bother him. Reasoning didnt work. Nothing really worked. My parents finally figured out that the only way to get thru to him was to take away something important from him. Like a favorite toy, or visitation with his dad, or going out with his friends. I think punishment has to be different for different kids. They respond in different ways. The important thing is that along with punishing them, you explain WHAT they did wrong, WHY it was wrong, and what they could have done differently in the situation. Like example: "you are getting sent to your room because you hit your sister. It isnt kind to hurt other people. If you were angry with her, you could have talked it out with her, or found something else to do, its not ok to be violent."

Answer 5

I am very much against spanking your child. I'll paste my answer to another spanking ? I just responded to:


I was spanked growing up, as a means of punishing me and not beaten in any way, and yes I do think it had a large negative impact on me. That isnt the case for everyone I know, but for me I really do think that is part of the reason I was an unhappy child. I'll explain a little about why:

I never had a very close relationship with my father as he worked over an hr from where we lived and I really didnt see him that much. When he was there, I guess we never had much in common that we could do together. My sister and brother had different relationships with him though as they had things they would do together like play hockey, basketball, fix cars, etc. I wasnt the tom boy my sister was and preferred to do more 'girlie' things I guess which my dad wasnt interested in. For me, all I saw him as was the man who spanked me. My mother would spank us too but nothing like what my father would do. He would make me pull my pants down to get a real stinging slap on the butt, and depending on what we had done we could get up to 10 of them. If we didnt bend over right away we would get additional spanks. It was humiliating, it hurt, and NO, it didnt change my behaviour much other than make me want to stay away from my father.

I'm now 29 years old, and have a very poor relationship with my father to this day. I cant say this is a direct result of his spanking me, but I still think of the way he treated me as a child and I think he was very much wrong. My mother comes from a family where beatings happened everyday, and I know she didnt want that for her family, but I think she should have stood up for us children a bit more than she did. She could see the effect it had on me, and yet she did nothing about it except for apologise afterwards and occasionally ask my father to hit a bit less hard the next time.

I am NOT planning on spanking my child. She's only 1yr old now and perhaps I will want to at times, but I think there are many ways to educate your child without resorting to spanking.


Now, as for what other ways there are - time outs, taking away privileges (phone, tv, computer, etc), giving extra chores around the house are all very good ones. The punishment should depend on the child and what works with them. I really dont think that any increase in unruly children is a result of parents not spanking them. It is parents not spending the needed time with their child, teaching them all sorts of things from reading and writing to the proper way to treat others. How do you explain then the children who ARE spanked and lack discipline? And the children who ARENT spanked and are perfectly well-behaved?
I'd be interested in reading your paper when you are done, do you think you could post a link to it here when you are done?

Answer 6

I think I tap on the hand or a rap around the bum never hurt any one.. but I think you should always give a warning and make sure the child understand that this is a warning and that if they continue to do what ever it is they are doing then you will put them away for everyone else. I think the main thing with kids is you have to look and sound like you mean it and stick to your guns and parents need to work together as well as grandparents need to be told this is what happens when the child misbehaves. that way the child understands the rules...

also you need to praise and hug and tell your child you love them .. when ever they are not mis behaving ...... shower affection on them....... they only want attention in most cases and kids only do what they can get away with.

Answer 7

I don't think any child should be beaten or abused, but if all else fails a swat on the butt will get their attention! A child without discipline is not good .Children need to know that "no" means no. And where there is no fear of punishment,what is there to Deter the child from misbehaving? One only has to look around at the overflowing prisons today and realize they are filled from the generation with no discipline!

Answer 8

I don't believe in violence against children. But there are times when a child deserves a spank. What I've noticed is that when a child misbehaves to that extent, they're basically testing their parent - to see how far they can get away with their mischief. Parents should always try reasoning first, threaten withdrawal of privileges next.

But children are uncannily smart and intuitive - more than what most adults give them credit for. They can sense when a threat is empty or when their parent is losing control. So in extreme situations, a light smack isn't misplaced. Children need to learn that there are consequences to their actions and that they can't get away with everything.

Answer 9

i think if more children were raised the way they used to be and get spankings and have consequences for wrong doings,these school shootings would not happen.All these crimes kids commit would not happen as much if we raised children like they used to.Now we give them every video game they want and every toy and they sit in front of computers all day and when they get home.Families don't eat dinner together anymore parents don't ask them about their day or even talk to them and then when they do something wrong they don't get punished for it.Its really the dumbest thing to say children don't need to be punished look how our youth has turned out because we don't need to spank their little behinds.I will spank my children and they will respect my husband and i and its that simple.It is not all about dicipline if you spend time with your children and play with them and show them that you love them when you do spank them it will sink in that they did something wrong and mommy and daddy are disappointed,but they are raised in a loving family they will put the two together and be more compassionate people in the long run.

Answer 10

Spanking is just wrong---Hitting a child is nothing more than physical abuse that send a message to the child that the inflicting of pain is ok.
Communications with the child---and consequential dicipline are more accepted. Time Outs---controlled sits---(minutes in these session should = the age of the child example 10 yr old 10 minutes in the time out place!

Older children ---priveledge taken away---no cell phone, no home phone usage- no car---no activities---Just thinking time in their room. These kinds of punishments should be given and communicated so that when the consequential punishment happens the child is full aware of the boundaries and guidelines that have been set forth in the family home rules.

Last year my daughter stole the family VAN----she was 13 at the time. Her consequence was handled by our local Sherriffs department---I pressed charges---she went to juvenile hall and was placed on conditional probation for over a year. She just recently got off probation and is now 15. I have told her You do the CRIME you pay the time...and the time she spent was well deserved.

She knows now...if she does a CRIME again...she won't get conditional probation she'll receive time locked up in the juvenile detention center and will have to report 2-3 x a week to a probation officer ....or if and when she turns 17 she could be sent to the department of corrections for women....

Consistency....is the key.....If you tell a child they're going to receive a punishment for bad behavior, a parent MUST follow thru....THREATS are like running water...if you pour that water you better have a glass to catch it!