My son is almost 16 months old. His whole life, he has had sleeping issues. (much like me) I held him until he fell asleep until he was about one, and then I started putting him to sleep on his own. It was hard for him at first but after a couple of days he seemed to get the hang of if. Well, now, it's like 4 nights out of the week that I have to fight with him. I put him in his crib and he screams and cries for about 45 minutes before he falls asleep! Every few minutes I go into his room and hug and kiss him and lay him down but he continues to fight me. Do I let him cry or lay with him? I feel so guilty. I feel like a bad mom when I let him cry, but at the same time, I think if I go and get him, I'm failing as a parent.
2006-10-18 20:56:42 · 9 answers · asked by munkees81 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
For my daughter, once she got to about that age, I just put her in bed, sang her a song, etc, and let her go to sleep. She would cry, but as long as she was full and dry and nothing was bothering her, I left her alone, to learn to self soothe. I dont think thats ok for infants, but toddlers of that age are already learning to manipulate. It only took a couple of nights for her to get the point. She would only cry about 10 minutes. I think you should try and hold out. By going in there and soothing him every few mins, you are dragging it out, and teaching him that crying gets mommy wrapped around his finger. Its hard, but now my daughter just gives me a kiss, lays down, and says "ny ny mama" Shes 19 months, and this started at about 13 months after I weaned her from breastfeeding.
2006-10-18 22:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes!!!! Common problem. All of my kids were like this. It's nice to know i am not the only one. Your son is use to having you to put him to sleep. You are his security so to speak. You have to remember, it's a scary thing sleeping on your own when yor soo young. Try to do up his room in his favorite character. Let him pick out with you and help you get the rm ready. Although he is so young it will bring some security. Get a night light too, this helps with the fear of being alone in the dark. Read a story before bed and sleep in there with him a few nights only you don't sleep inbed with him ...try the floor. then after...a level of security in the rm should be present. Still read to him, and tuck him in, then leave the rm and leave the door open so he knows mommy can see. Then if he gets up put him back. They say 10 mins is the rule of thumb to let them cry before going in there. I know you hate making him cry, i did too. You aren't failing him as a mommy. You are establishing good sleep habits for him. Good luck and if you find it too hard to let him cry, go with what you are comfortable doing. He is your baby and you know whats best, don't let society or anyone else tell you what to do. He will come around in his own time, my kids did.
2006-10-19 04:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by amandaped25 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not feel like a bad Mommy... you held him in your arms for almost a year and he's just used to that. He may cry but he'll be okay and so will you. Reaching out for advice and or support is the best thing you can do and you've done that...
As much as I wanted to hold my son while he fell asleep and through the night from the day he was born, I knew I couldn't so I didn't. My son is great when it comes to naptime and bedtime so I can't complain or offer first hand experience in this area.
I just wanted to say that I do feel for you - anytime my son cries I just want to fix it or go back on my decision that has caused him to put up a fight but we can't always do what's in our heart. We need to think and look beyond the tears and what it means for everyone including our children. I think you should do what's right for you and your family... why are you changing the bedtime ritual?
Do you think his resistance is about your attention or about having to go to bed? Knowing why he has his fits is huge in figuring out what you can do.
One more thing - I love that you check on him but does he know/hear you checking in?
Also, I highly recommend:
Fisher-Price Flutterbye Dreams Lullabye Birdies Soother
http://www0.epinions.com/content_222317022852
It's nice because they can control it themselves, it has a sensor for fussyness in the middle of the night and it has a timer.
Best of Luck!
2006-10-19 04:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by PopcornMommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've got to let him cry himself back to sleep. this will not go on for long before he learns to just go back to sleep if he wakes up in the middle of the night. it will be hard on you at first, but it will get easier. it is for his own good. no child has ever died from crying, ok. he'll be fine just let him cry.
2006-10-20 14:46:30 · answer #4 · answered by HazelEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some times you need to let them cry!You don't want them to cry or throw a fit every time they want there way.
2006-10-19 05:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by cat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason to feel like you are failing!
We are biologically wired to want to keep our babies with us and safe... leaving them alone to cry is going against nature.
Lay down with him until he is asleep, he is still a baby.
2006-10-19 04:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by sheila 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well when i couldint sleep when i was a baby my mom would pick me up and go take me a 10 min walk arond the naberhod and give me kisses wall walking and be holding me and tell me its ok its ok try that it realy does work
2006-10-19 04:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't start to lie with him it will be one more habit to break. Go to this site. They helped me get my daughters sleep under control at this age
2006-10-19 06:20:40 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take him in your arams and sing a sweet song.
He needs it.
2006-10-19 04:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by SKG R 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋