They know more than we think they do. My son is 8 and came home today and said?

Question

"some kindergarten (prep) kids are saying that sex is when you put your front private inside a girls front private" I just looked at him and said "really! is that what they think?" He left it at that... and so will I for now. It seems too young for them to know the nitty gritty. What do you think?

My son is in year 2, he overheard some kindergarten boys. My son knows the correct words ie penis and vagina. He was repeating what the boys said.

Answer 1

yes i agree its way to young some people don't care what there kids do or say kids should be kids the real problem is the parents who have there kids and don't care what they are doing or saying they are the ones who shouldn't be having kids

Answer 2

Here's what I learned - answer your child's questions, but don't read into them. If they ask what sex is, say it's something that adults do when they are grown. For all you know he heard the word on TV and didn't think of it as anything different than the word "marbles" for instance. Of course this could lead to other questions, but be careful what you say, answer his questions, but don't give him more information than he asks for. When you are ready to have the "sex" talk (as he gets older) you might have to bring some things up - but I think you'll be surprised how much easier it is at that point if you answer his questions, and don't dance around them now. Today he didn't ask you a question, so you did the right thing. And you're the parent - you could have told him that's completely wrong if you choose.

It's a hard world we live in when some parents are teaching their children about "front privates" and "sex" when others just want their kid to go to school and bring home their latest handwriting page to show us what a great job they did.
Good luck!

Answer 3

NOt an easy topic to approach at any age with a child but at a minimum you should talk to him about it in a way he will understnad that sex is a gift that God or Nature has given adults to expres their love and its something private with a lot of consequences when not done in the right context. And that as a gift given to him by God, he needs to guard it and make sure no one else tries to take it away from him. And that is why he should not let other children or adults touch his private parts (except when he is sick the doctor may do so) and that he should also respect the gift of others and not touch their private parts either. When the right time comes, if he waits, tell him that it will feel like Christmas opening the most wonderful present. And that listening to wrong stories from others may ruin the surprise by confusing him...That in the meantime, he should continue to come to you with all questions because you want to make sure he is ready and healthy for that special day...
I think this may prevent your son from falling an easy pray to pervs out there and from being gullible and believing everything the kids out there are saying.
Hope it helps (to be honest, I haven't dealt with this issue yet, my son is only 2!)

Answer 4

That was the perfect opportunity for you to start talking to your son about sex and you handled it perfectly. But it is also a perfect example of why parents need to be flexable about the subject and when is the right time to talk about it. Your son was not interested in taking the conversation any further and that was just fine. If he had asked questions, answering them then and there , in a simple way with just the information he asked for, goes a long way to buiding a rapport that will serve you well later on when the questions get more complex. Once you know your child is getting info at school, you want them to know they can come to you to find out the truth of it all. This gives them the right answers about reproduction, safe sex and the opportunity to talk about your family's personal feelings about what and when the proper time is to choose.

Answer 5

It's normal and unavoidable. Some kids know more, or think they know more, then they go to school and repeat what they think to their friends. You did the right thing, I think he was hoping you'd clarify things more. You might want to do that so he isn't getting false information, but you should decide at what age he knows that stuff. Parents are having to step in sooner because of what kids see and hear from movies, tv, games, etc. and because other kids don't have parents who are guiding them in the right way so their kids go out and spread their ignorance. One time I had dropped my daughter off at school and was walking out and there were three little girls walking by me, maybe 8 at the oldest, and I heard one of them say, "Well, that's what happens when you have sex." I'm not sure what exactly they were talking about that happens, but she said it so confidently as if she were an authority on sex or something. I felt like telling them they were too young to be talking like that, but it wasn't my place. I know last year when my daughter was in kindergarten one little girl in her class was interested in sex and would talk about it at times, one time she was peaking at another little girl in a public bathroom and she told the other little girl she was sexy. I walked into the bathroom and told her she needed to stop it and get out of the bathroom. It's sad that kids know so much, but unfortunately it's the reality we have to face now.

Answer 6

I think better supervision of the children wouldn't have provided the opportunity for them to be discussing what they think sex is.

I tend to also think that there is a good reason why parents shouldn't be talking about sex to their children too soon, and that reason is that they aren't always capable of even understanding the "nitty gritty", but even if they are they don't know enough not to be bringing the subject up in public.

Oh - to have back the days when kids were 11 and still didn't have a clue.....

Answer 7

He should have known this information from you already - it's always best that this comes from the parents, in order to dispell myths. Most parents start around age six with the truth about where babies come from. Sounds like your son needs some further talking with - answer his questions honestly. It's probably time to introduce the emotional component, too, not just the biological. \
And you are right, they do know more than we think they do. It's our job as parents, though, to make sure they get proper information about the biological stuff, and then whatever values our families hold about sex and relationships.

Answer 8

You son is one year older than my husband when my husband lost his virginity to an older girl. Don't be blind. He probably knows more than you think, and that he realizes. I would have the talk with him ASAP and keep it light, no lecturing, just stick tot the facts. Tell him about sex, how it happens, how babies are made, how babies are HUGE responsibilities, that sex is meaningless unless you share it with someone that is loving and kind and during a time in your life when you are capable of dealing with all the consequences that are possible with being sexually active. I would definitely tell him about the diseases that can be transmitted during sex too, and ways to protect yourself. It will be embarrassing a little, and it will seem like you are interrupting his innocence. . .but he needs to know now from you on how to view sex both responsibly and with some knowledge. He will learn about it. . .let it be from you and not some kid on the street like me. . .it set me up for years of confusion, depression and stressful situations. . .talking to him now and maintaining an open relationship about sex will be the best gift you could give him. Be brave, this is one thing that goes along with being a parent. And, yes, you ARE up for the challenge. Good Luck and Goddess Bless!

Answer 9

When my son came in asked a very similar question at the age of 8 I figured it was time to teach him about procreation. We went to the zoo and watched the animals. I asked him if he understood what they were doing as they were mating and he said "Yeah, they are making babies". I taught him the principle of animal sex vs human sex, and that in the world a male and a female must get together to create babies.

Being a deeply religious family I explained that while animals instinctually have a drive to procreate, that man must choose to responsibly engage in this activity and be prepared to take responsibility for the children he creates. I told him that it is best to wait until he was married to the girl of his dreams, and I also briefly explained that not everyone believed that and that sometimes children are born without Fathers to take care of them. I cautioned him to do what Jesus would do and left it at that.

I allowed him to speak openly and answered his questions the most open way that I could...I have to admit that some of his questions were quite candid and took me by surprise, but nonetheless I answered than openly and casually.

I only wish that my parents had taken the approach that I did...When I was 16, and had learned from my friends all there was to know about sex my dad decided to enlighten me, but it was in vain. Also there was a tension that made both of us uneasy and left me with the feeling that he thought that sex was dirty, which quite confused me. I have learned that children don't need a rocket science answer to be satisfied.

My brothers 4 year old son walked into their bedroom one night and caught them making love...When he asked what they were doing my brother calmly said "We're making a lil sister or brother for you to play with." Jonah said "okay, can I get some water?" and left it at that.

Be open and candid, and allow your child the same and all will be well.

Answer 10

The best time to answer children's questions about sex is when they ask. He was asking you for advise, yes 8 is young,but obviously at his school the topic is out in the open and being discussed, the best place for him to learn the truth is from you, not from others,and you don't have to do into huge details an 8 yr old will be happy with the answer " yes that is correct,but it is something for adults who love each other". then when he is older with more questions he will come to you because you have already talked about it.sometimes things have to be discussed when they happen, even though we may have prefered it to be later.Death and sex are things that confuse children and they just need a little clear answer from us.

Answer 11

Yes they do know a lot more then we think lol. Figure it this way, a lot of these kids have older siblings that tell them their "version" of stuff. Or, they overhear parents/adult conversations or just what they picked up on tv.

I remember when I was about 4 or 5, parents were watching I think it was called Vegas(?) and I was playing in the background. Some woman had gotten raped. I thought they meant she was raked, like someone raked her with a rake. Took me a couple years to figure it out, but I thought you could rake someone, like leaves. So, kids hear things and interpret it in their own way.