I started dating my bf when I was 16 yrs old and he was 20,I am now 19 and he is 23,and my family thinks just cause he started dating me when I was only 16 that he is a pedophile but I kno that hes not like that at all,but it still bothers me and makes my bf uncomfortable around my family
2006-10-18 19:42:27 · 21 answers · asked by carameldlight_69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your family is wack to hold that against him.
pedophiles don't enter into LONG term relationships.
they keep fixated on one age.
Tell your family that they are making problems where there are none and to focus on other things. you are legal now and you have been together three years and that is a long time for someone your age.
Give them time and space or call them on their UNreasonable
arguments. Are they just trying to pick a fight? is that the patern?
If they have concerns let them speak the real ones. Are they afraid he does something else but they don't want to say that so they pick this as a dummy argument...
You can move out soon if you haven't already so they will have less say in your decisions...Just keep being as grown up about this as you can and eventually they willl have to warm to him.
2006-10-19 13:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by mysticathiest 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you've been together for 3 years shows that this isn't some silly fling. I think your parents need to get over it, when I was 16 I went out with a 23 year old for a while. My parents were a little worried about the age difference & we didn't last all that long but we remained friends for many years. It's nowhere near as bad as a guy I know who is 30 with a 14 year old who I am sorely tempted to tell the cops about because there is a reason why the statutory rape laws apply but it doesn't sound like it would apply in your case. I guess all you can do is hang tight & try to ride this out, even though it isn't easy. You're an adult & will probably be venturing out on your own soon (if you haven't already) so it won't be such an issue. As long as he treats you well & you love each other there's only so much influence your parents can have over you if you're dead set on each other.
2006-10-19 02:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your family does not know the definition of a pedophile or the behaviors involved there. They are still carrying a grudge over the fact that at 16, when you were still a minor and under their care (I assume) that you defied them and continued to see a 20 year old man. Had they warmed up to him, they would not have had a problem - even if he was 25. Your parents are acting childish since you are now of age and can make any choices you want - unless you are still living under their roof and support.
If b.f. was a pedophile he would have targeted you when you were 13 or 14. Sixteen is a bit long in the tooth for a pedophile to be interested. You can discuss this piece of commonsense with them if you wish but the base problem is your defiance at age 16 and their not willing to give it up. Best wishes.
2006-10-19 03:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you need to educate your family on what a pedophile really is....
My sisters husband is 3 years older, that age gap is about the average for a couple. I would only be worried if he was 29 when you were 16....
Anyway tell your family to mind their own business and to stop talking nonsense and tell your boyfriend you love him with all your heart.
2006-10-19 02:50:43 · answer #4 · answered by wickedly_funny66 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
that's stupid a pedophile is 40 to 60 years old and like to play with children with the age of 7 to 13 years old .but your boyfriend is 23 years old how can he be a pedophile unless u saw him touching a young girl like 5 to 8 years old and ur 19 his 4 years older than you so that's not bad to have a boyfriend at that age okay.
2006-10-19 02:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by nicoboy 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well if you live in the USA you are lucky he did not get put in jail due to dating an underage minor. That is irrelivant now, but I think you need to sit down and talk with your parents, obviously if he was a pedophile, he would not be with you any longer. Parents always freak out when an older guy dates thier daughters.
2006-10-19 02:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by daggermouth 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Four years difference? Your parents watch too much "America's Most Wanted". They are still treating you like you're a child. Since you both are still together and are adults now they should be used to this relationship. Or they better get used to it. Don't worry. This will fade in time. By the way, what are the age difference of your parents? They aren't the exact same age are they?
2006-10-19 03:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by quantumview 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
May just not be a "classic" pedophile just a weak ignorant loser that has control problems...needs having a subservient partner to do everything she is ordered to by her master....
on the other hand he could just love you...
2006-10-19 03:45:42 · answer #8 · answered by chiefof nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear 4-5 years gap doesnt means ur BF is pedophile, there r lot of couples in world, of big age difference, so u try to convince ur parents, try with ur mother first, best of luck
2006-10-19 02:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by anand 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well if you were having sex with him while you were 16,then they have a valid point.a 20 year old shouldn't be having sex with a 16 year old girl.if you were my kid,his nuts would be hanging on the barn door or i would of "stumped"him and left them laying.
2006-10-19 03:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋