I just found out I failed a Chem exam and need to be cheered up, any good jokes or anything funny, I'm desperate.
2006-10-18 19:33:44 · 13 answers · asked by Myra G 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
No. I thought I did great. I'm going to talk to my professor tommorrow. It still stings though.
2006-10-18 19:40:00 · update #1
Well it could be worse....
You Know You're Having a Bad Day When...
1. Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists.
2. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned.
3. Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
4. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
5. You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.
6. You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.
7. Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.
8. Your income tax refund check bounces.
9. The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
10. You wake up and your braces are stuck together.
11. Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife/husband.
12. You put both contacts into the same eye.
13. Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
14. Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
15. You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard.
16. Nothing you own is actually paid for.
17. Everyone loves your driver's licence picture, but you think it looks awful.
18. The health inspector condems your office coffee maker.
19. You invite the peeping Tom in... and he says no.
20. The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money when she sees your future.
21. People think that you're 40 and you're only 25.
22. When the doctor tells you are in fine health for someone twice your age.
23. You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch.
24. You start to put on the clothes that you wore home from the party last night...... and there aren't any.
25. It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it
This site has some pretty funny jokes
http://www.ahajokes.com/
2006-10-18 19:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by mystique_dragon4 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Feel better! I searched some and I thought this one was kinda funny.
The Top Ten Lies Told by Graduate Students
(according to the Harvard Crimson)
It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
My work has a lot of practical importance.
I would never date an undergraduate.
Your latest article was so inspiring.
I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
The department is giving me so much support.
My job prospects look really good.
No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
2006-10-18 19:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by Daisy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remember being in the 10th grade and i was depressed about something..so i told my friends to tell me jokes. Then my friend said "2 peanuts were walking down the street and 1 'was a salted'. (like if the 1 peanut got assaulted,get it?)I could not stop laughing! lol. i know lame..but i cheered up.
2006-10-18 19:36:47 · answer #3 · answered by yahooaddict 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Failure is the stepping stone to success. Try harder - No shame in failing. You tried Better luck next time. But here is a joke for you.
wo elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
2006-10-18 20:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by zaazzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
an American undercover agent in Russia, pretending he's Russian, already knowing everything about everybody in the village, well prepared, speaking perfect Russian...
meets old lady Natasha:
- hello mama nattasha how are you, and the boys etc.
- we're fine mister american...
meets another guy:
- hey vania how's everything etc.
- it's good mister amercan...
the guy get increasingly nervous but continues. he meets a little boy:
- hey little boris how's everything in school, you still get those good grades?
- yes mister american...
the guy can take no more and he asks:
hey how come everyone knows I'm American?
well, mister American, you speak perfect Russian, you know everybody and everything about them... but you see, mister American, we in Russia don't have black people...
you can also look for jokes using a search engine... on the internet of course
2006-10-18 19:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by ╠╬╣ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look at Flava Flav pictures it always gives me a good laugh.
2006-10-18 19:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 hydrogen atoms walk down the street.
The first H says: I think I lose an electron?
The secon H says: Are you sure?
The first H says: I am positive!
2006-10-18 19:36:53 · answer #7 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Q: how are a pizza delivery guy and a gynocologist the same. A: they can smell it but they cant eat it.
2006-10-18 19:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Floats like a butterfly
Stings like a bee
I slep with YO MAMMA
NOW IT BURNS WHEN i PEE!!!
2006-10-18 19:36:17 · answer #9 · answered by kendra dowson 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's OK get used to it...life isn't a bed of roses!!if there are downs today you will have an up tomorrow...be patient and learn to accept everything....
2006-10-18 22:31:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋