How do I help my best friend get motivated and stop acting lazy and stupid. Please someone Help!!?

Question

My best friend found out she is pregnant.Shes 20 yrs. old. She is a very depressed, lazy person in the 1st place. She can't make descions by herself, she can't hold or get a job, and everything in her life in one giant excuse! She told me she feels like she needs someone to "hold her hand" through everyday things like work and stuff. How PATHETIC!
On top of it all shes overweight. i do SO SO much to help her. i give her advice. i even type up "motivational sayings and info." for her to carry with her. She thinks shes trying but shes not. its like no matter how much i tell her, its like shes retarded. i'm getting really fed up and i dont know what to do. i tell her to pray and to get off her butt and do something, get a job, and a place to live. How is she gonna raise this child on her own, when she hasnt even been raised herself? Please somebody help!!!!

Answer 1

Try giving up on her - if she can't help herself. It's not your job in life to be her saviour.

You have your own life to live hun...... don't try living hers as well.

I'm not joking - let her go. Be there if something serious happens, but people like you make people like her even more lazy because they think someone will always be there to pick up their mess.

Answer 2

you really sound like a great friend, however, it seems like your firiend is alittle lazy, or perhaps, so is just acting how she seen it as a child. Children learn what they see, so perhaps her mother was lazy, and didnt do much either. You really cant make someone do something they dont want to, all you can do is be there to help her, guide her, and be her friend. You cant change someone. It has to be done by themself. Offer to be her support person, go to the appointments, arrange to be there for the birth. Once you have set this up, get her active, go walking, shopping together, eat healthy together. Offer her information about services in your town. Anything you do will be helpful, even if she doesnt show it, she means well. Good luck, i know its hard to bite your tongue.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like perhaps she may have depression. If she is over weight, could explain lack of energy. At any rate, i see your point. I don't see how she is going to raise this child. It will be another drain on society with social services and if she doesn't straighten up her act social services will step in and take the baby. What the heck is she doing having sex? She sounds very irresponsible and i feel sry for that baby. Good luck with your friend. The only suggestion i can offer you is to adopt the child because you seem to have some kind of responsibility and stability to offer this child. Where is the father?

Answer 4

I think the best thing you can do for her is to stop DOING. Let her take some responsiblity and do stuff for herself. She's going to be very busy soon with this baby, unless you want to take care of that for her too.
She really needs to wake up.
If she's so lazy, how did she get pregnant in the first place? She had to have some energy somewhere.
Seems like it's an excuse for her to live off of other people.

Answer 5

Wow, you sound like a bit of a jerk about your friend calling her lazy, stupid and retarded. I'm glad I don't have friends like you. She's probably suffering from some sort of mental problem like anxiety or depression. Tell her to get into some kind of counselling or something. People who are ill have to try much much more than you do to do something as simple as get dressed in the morning or leave the safety of their bedroom. Please try and develop some kind of compassion for your fellow wo/man.

Answer 6

i dont think shes lazy, she has mental problems and this just compounds it, depression is a major problem which keeps people from getting out of a funk. she needs a doctor quick. stop doing things to help her, you are an enabler, a crutch, make her seek real help. praying does no help, thats foolish, she needs to have her brain chemicals in balance. she should have aborted the child, at least she should give it away, she cant deal with it at all. where is her family?

Answer 7

continue to pray for her, help her but dont be babysitter all the time cuz she is going to need to learn how to take care of her own child. she's still very young so that age thing and now having to take care of someone else on top of any hormonal offsets is goin cause the whole depression thing. but continue to be there for her and encourage her. when she gets a job, tell her how to stick to it. it sounds like ur annoyed and frustrated with her however, so you might want to ask yourself as well, if you still want to be her friend. if so u let all of that frustration subside, keep it to a vent blog and stand strong for your friend. she'll get it eventually but you cant force it. that could cause your frustration as well, just relax. she'll figure it out one way or another, just pray for her sake, it's not a harder route than necessary. keep ya head up.

Answer 8

Try some counseling groups or birthing classes. Try getting her family involved. Have some one who has had it rough raising a child talk with her.
Or get one of those mechanic babies that high schoolers have to care for so that she can get the real feel of having a baby.

Answer 9

this might properly be a tough one, and all i can rather inform you is to speak to the minister and notice what might properly be carried out. And, which you need to to speak to an expert in intercourse habit to get their address what might desire to be happening and why. there could be some thing your spouse sense is lacking interior the marriage or interior the mattress room that she is having a tricky time conversing approximately. each and every now and then attending to the basis of the situation frequently helps to get the undertaking dealt with and below administration. Even a counselor who's a christian AND a counselor might desire to help with this. the place I used to pass to church we had a type of. finding on your church and how it handles particular issues, which you need to to pass to a specialist exterior source first. those human beings would be objective with regard to the undertaking. each and every now and then human beings in a church have preconceived innovations or ideals approximately those varieties of addictions, and it would desire to hold approximately them being judgmental of you and your spouse; no longer that they're going to, yet you by no ability rather can tell. in case you sense you are able to have confidence them sufficient, you are able to tell a number of those friends what is going on and notice in the event that they might furnish help. i do no longer understand if I helped any or no longer, yet I figured that's properly worth a attempt. I applaud you on your honesty and admire in direction of your spouse approximately this habit.

Answer 10

Ask family and friends for support. Constantly encourage her to become a better person, and provide motivation. Don't talk negatively around her; always be in a positive mood, and don't be afraid to tell her the truth without hurting her feelings. Keep it up. Don't give up. I believe in you.