We are both in our mid 30's and have been together for a year. Although he calls me just before he leaves, I dont hear from him the rest of night. I don't call him because I dont want him to feel like I'm checking up on him. I have been cheated on before and have trust issues. He's mostly great but I dont trust him completly because I have seen him get a little too friendly with the ladies when he drinks too much (and I'm there!). I just get incredible anxious when he goes out. Just curious to know what is appropriate. Should he be calling to say goodnight as he usually does? Should I be calling? Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
2006-10-18 18:45:07 · 18 answers · asked by Llll33 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best solution would be to plan a girls night out. That's not always possible. I would call but I may feel worse if he doesn't answer or return my call. People...If you really care and know someone has trust issues, take a second to send a message or call. It really helps. When I go out I constantly keep him in the loop.
2006-10-18 18:57:17 · update #1
hire a PI or DIY
2006-10-18 19:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by sulaji84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you have trust issues and they are showing, Most men will get a little to friendly when they drink, but so do a lot of women( including me). I know it is hard to overcome but try to involve yourself with some project where the time will pass very quickly, and do not expect a call to say good night as his night might not end until very late, and he will be considerate of you. treat him as an adult and behave the same way. The past is where it belongs in the past.
2006-10-18 18:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a girls night out the same night. I wouldn't recommend calling him because then he'll think you don't trust him (even if you have a hard time trusting him). He should probably call to say goodnight - or at least ask him to; tell him you'd feel better knowing he was thinking about you before he went to sleep.
2006-10-18 18:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to know for sure. All you can do is go with your feelings. Either deal with your trust issues or let him know how you feel. Or just break up with him, if you are paranoid all the time that he is cheating then you are getting nothing out of the relationship than a headache and really thats not worth it
2006-10-18 18:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by sirelyas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make yourself busy. It's amazing how you will temporarily forget about him when you're having fun. Get the girls and go to a beauty salon, or movie, or dinner, drinks whatever, the busier the better. Don't call, just relax, have fun and talk to him the next day. The more space you give to him, the more attentive he'll be. So far this is working for me, best of luck!
2006-10-18 18:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Aussie Chick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, both of you should decide on this struggle of yours. Plan a perfect time, when he is in a good mood, to talk with him about this matter. It's healthy for your relationship to show him you're giving consideration to his opinion or what he thinks is the best thing for both of you to do in handling situations like this. Be very gentle and calm while you're having this conversation with him. Tame your emotions. You should keep in mind that you're not there to confront him but to resolve the issue. Be very honest about how you feel in a way that it'll not offend him 'coz more likely, he'll resort to defensiveness. In your conversation, always assure him your love and concern about him and your relationship. Never decide on an issue in your relationship alone. It takes two to tango! ...Two to make a good and wise decision!
2006-10-18 19:00:46 · answer #6 · answered by Corin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I first read this question, I thought it was from a 17 year old. I don't know about you, but people who need "girls/guys night out" is a deal breaker for me. It's a way to be single while being in a couple. It shows they are not ready to be in a relationship, move on to bigger and better things like family, community, etc. It's GHETTO!
2006-10-18 18:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
oooh, i know how u feel completely,
the best thing 2 do is get him 2 msg or call u thru out the night,
it wont make u feel completely at ease but at least u have an idea of what he is up to.
If any1 comes up with an answer 2 this that works id love 2 know cos istruggle with this too,
good luck
2006-10-18 18:47:28 · answer #8 · answered by another_gorgeous_chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to let him know how you are feeling, and let him know the reason you feel that way (past relationship). Then you need to get out of the house and go have some fun with your friends, it may help take your mind off the worry of what he is doing.
2006-10-18 18:48:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Side aside time when you're not anxiuos and you can just sit down and talk. Tell him you want to completely trust him and he needs to really assure you and help come up with ways. If he doesn't understand or gets defensive, he's the wrong guy. The wrong guy for anyone.
2006-10-18 18:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard facts of life. Relax or he will start to feel strangled and you will lose him. He should not be calling to say goodnight, I don't call anyone at that time of night unless somebody is dying.
2006-10-18 18:47:42 · answer #11 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋