How do I get over a crush?

Question

I'm a female and I work and go to college. In my senior year, and I always thought that once you reach a cetain age you stop getting crushes on people. Well, there is this guy at my job I am seriously crushing on. I have been working there for about 2 years, but he just recently started working there. I think he may be interested, but I am way too shy to actually find out. I actually almost asked him if he was also interested, but at the last moment I lost my nerve. I feel really bad now, because I have kinda avoided him lately and we used to be very friendly with one another. So how should I get over this guy? Usually after I tell a guy, if he says he is not interested then my crush soon disappears, but I can't even get up the nerve to express myself this time. I think the fact that he works with me is the reason I have held back. Anyway, what should I do? If nothing else, I would at least like to go back to having nice conversations with him.

Also, as I forgot to mention this, my crush is of a different race than I am (he is white, and I'm black). This is probably another reason I have yet to say anything. Interracial relationships do not bother me, but if I were to be rejected based on my race it would probably hurt more than just because he is my co-worker and he could tell others at my job. Taking this into consideration, what should I do?

Answer 1

Hi,
It is not true that after a certain age u dont have crush on anyone. This is something which will be in every human. Now it is true that u are having a crush on this guy. Since he is working in the same office u are scared to express your feelings. All you need to do is try to finsih your work by the same time when he does. Then leave for home & just pretend that it was a co-incidence that you both are leaving office at the same time. If his house is in your way to home then walk with him. If not, then walk his way; when he asks you - where are you off to - you can say that you have some work at the same area where he stays. You two can then have some quite walk. Make this as an everyday practice (almost everyday!). Soon (say after 2 days itself) if you are not talking with him then he will. And if he is quite then you can start a chat. Just dont discuss office only, try discussing about some of your old friends - ur old classmates etc. that will make both of you comfortable with each other. When all these things are going smooth - either of you can ask for an evening walk on Sunday rather than just asking dinner. Because that will be too quick. Once you guys are at walk just talk how much you value friendship & how much you value feelings. Later it will be easy for you to ask him staright that you kinda like him & what are his thoughts about you. This way you will have a friend & even if he denies liking you - he will still want to be your friend because he has been sharring almost his regular stuff with you.

All the best !

Answer 2

No, crushes never go away, that's good and bad. I think you are old enough to get over the shy and can't talk, or make a move or any of the above. So what if you strike out? Is this really any better? At least you'll be able to sleep at night. And if you are actually putting this out there for people to help you with, are you really ready to be over your crush? Tell him no matter the outcome. As long as your mature in your nature, and clear to him either way is acceptable, there won't be any uncomfortable feelings. How do you know he's not on this same website somewhere asking for the same help? Stop being shy right now at this point in your life. You'll be so much better off for it.

Answer 3

Hmm.... Do you need this job ? If no, then go and ask him indirectly by sending emails or writing notes to him.

If you need this job, can you find other jobs easily if you need to leave ? if yes, then go and ask him indirectly by sending personal emails and writting note to him.

If you can not find job easy and need the job, I will say think of the situation that should kill your crush.
Imagine
1) you express your interests, and he rejects you. And other colleagues knows about it and talk to others about it. Will you be too embarrasse to work there ?
2) You and him get going. He is actually a player. he used you and talk about you to other coworker. What will you do ?
3) You and him get going but things doesn't work out. You fight and you still see everyday. Will that affects your work everyday ? Will that cause you the performance at work ? What if there is another new female employee come in. She is interested in him also. How's that affect your work ?

You think about your bread and worst consequence. You will cool down fast.

Answer 4

Kit! Getting crush doesnot stop as you grow older...thats my experience! Dont feel bad for anything as you just did nothing wrong. Are you afraid of rejection without even knowing the result. What if he really wants you and he too is unable to tell you. But if he doesnt want you and he says he is already occupied or something like that - nothing is going to fall on your head...Be good as you were earlier with him and express to him coolly that you have a crush on him and see whats his answer - but dont get disappointed at negative result. Best of luck!

Answer 5

You gotta take in consideration the facts. Is he single? (you don't want to destroy a relationship) You gotta be careful too since being at work might cause problems.
See if you can get a group from work to go out for a happy hour or so and see how things go outside from your work area.

Answer 6

I really feel for you. Dont stop talking to him. What you can do is say, would you like to go for a coffee. If he says yes, then see where things go from there. But if he makes excuses then he really isn't interested. If he agrees to go for a coffee, he may be interested, but don't push it too much. Just be yourself and enjoy the moment. Good luck.

Answer 7

He would crush all the wood that a crush could if my crush could crush wood.

Answer 8

Just tell him! If you're halfway decent looking then he will be interested. Guys have big egos. They love it when a girl goes after them.

Answer 9

if you like him then go for it. dont let your nervousness or anything hold you back. you'll never know unless you find out for yourself. and i know many people who get over their ex's by finding someone new

Answer 10

i can realize your situation now because i have a similar problem..thanks for the question.