Which sentence do you feel is more effective?

Question

Group 1
a.The funny cartoon attracts the reader's eye on the cover of the magazine.
b.The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye on the cover of the magazine.
Group2
a.The doctor promised on her way to her hospital to come and see me.
b.The doctor promised to come and see me on her way to her hospital .
So,which are more effective for people to understand?I hope to hear more about the reasons.Please help me. Thank you

Answer 1

Are you confused yet? Let me add to your confusion.

Group 1: Neither sentence is good English, but you can make some simple changes to make them both acceptable:

a.The funny cartoon attracts the reader's eye to the cover of the magazine.

(Note, this involves just changing the preposition "on" to the preposition "to." Remember the discussion we had a few days ago about some other prepositions. With the preposition "on" this sentence IS understandable and changing it to "to" DOES NOT change the meaning. It's just that "to" is the preposition that is currently correct BY CONVENTION. In other words "to" is the preposition that most people would use here.)

b.The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye.

(The second "on the cover of the magazine'" at the end is unnecessary and would never be used in either spoken or written English.)

Probably better than either sentence above, though, would be,

"The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye." (As suggested by greylady above)

or even,

"The funny cartoon on the magazine cover attracts the reader's eye."


Group 2: The correct sentence is

b. The doctor promised to come and see me on her way to her hospital.

a. is incorrect EVEN IF the meaning intended were that she made the promise to you while heading toward her hospital. If that were the case the sentence could be salvaged by adding commas like this,

"The doctor promised, on her way to her hospital, to come and see me."

But even that is awkward. You might see it in written English but you would never hear it spoken that way. A better version would be,

"While on her way to her hospital the doctor promised to come and see me."

Hope this helps, Gone Car

Answer 2

In group 1, Neither sounds right. It should be, The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye.

In group 2. b does sound more appropriate.

Where is the funny cartoon? It's on the cover of the magazine. What does it do? Attracts the reader's eye. It's the placement of words that grounds the idea you want to communicate.

Now, The Doctor promised to come and see me on her way to her hospital has a more even flow to it. A, is rather hard way of speaking. These are things someone is doing in steps in be but in a, they are out of sorts.

Answer 3

Hello.

In Group 1, 'a' is the more effective. One problem with 'b' is that it's redundant. You say, "the cartoon on the cover attracts the readers eye to the cartoon that's on the cover." Another problem is that 'b' is vauge. The first clause establishes that the funny cartoon is on the cover. But later, we talk about about "attracting the reader's eye on the cover." Are we still talking about the cartoon, or is the reader's eye on the cover?!? Sentence 'a' doesn't have these problems.

In Group 2, 'b' is more effective. In this case, the problem with 'a' is that it isn't clear if the doctor made a promise while she was on her way to the hospital (from her cell phone?) to come and see you at some point in the future, or if the doctor promised to come and see you as a stop prior to her arriving at her final destination (the hospital). Sentence 'b' makes a stronger impression that the doctor made a promise (in the past) that while she was on her way to the hospital, she'd make a detour and see you.

Hope this helps.
mz

Answer 4

I think there's a typo in group 1 (the repeating of the phrase "on the cover or the magazine") If 1b says "The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracts the reader's eye." It is the better choice because it's the cartoon, not the reader's eye, that is on the cover of the magazine.

In group 2, as one respondant said, it depends on the context. But I believe 2b is the better choice meaning the Doctor would visit the patient while the doctor was on her way to the hospital.

Answer 5

Group 1 - neither
If you are trying to say that the reader is attracted to the cover of the magazine bcos of the cartoon, how about "The funny cartoon on the cover of the magazine attracted the reader's eye."

Group 2 - Depends
"a" means that while the doc is going to the hospital, she promised to go see you
"b" means that you are in between the doc's starting point and her destination (hospital)

hope it helps

Answer 6

Your examples are all about the placement of descriptive phrases or clauses. In Group 1, b. is more effective, but only if the redundant "on the cover of the magazine" at the end of the sentence is deleted. In Group 2, either a. or b. could be correct depending on the writer's intended meaning. Did the doctor make her promise on her way to the hospital? Or did she promise at some other time to come and see me on her way to the hospital? In other words, were the words, "on her way to the hospital" intended to describe when the promise was made or, instead, when it was proposed to be carried out?

It's analogous to the scene from the movie, "Mary Poppins," when Dick Van Dyke, in the role of his own grandfather, the president of the bank, got a huge laugh out of a joke about "a man with a wooden leg named John," to which he replied, "What was the name of his other leg?"

I guess you had to be there.

Answer 7

Group 1
They both suck. In the first one, your preposition is misplaced and confusing; the funny cartoon is on the cover of the magazine, not the reader's eye. The second one is better, or, would be better, rather, if rid of the repeat of the phrase "on the cover of the magazine" at the end.

Group 2
This one depends on context. Is she coming to see you, as she's driving, on the way to the hospital? (b is better). Is she making you a promise while she drives to the hospital? (a is better, though it needs commas after promised and hospital to clarify.)

Answer 8

Group 1 B
Group 2 B

Answer 9

The reader's eye is caught by the funny cartoon on the magazine's cover.

I am not sure what is going on in the bottom two sentences. Maybe: On the way to the hospital the doctor promised to visit me. (?)

Answer 10

well in group 1 I would say a. though the word "on" should be changed to well (to)

possibly the repitition of " on the cover of the magazine in b.

in group 2 I prefer b., they are brobably both equally effective, just like the order of the statement better: who promised, who they promised, what they promised. Just seems more of a logical order.