My friend told me a few weeks ago that her husband has been looking at porn and masterbates. By the time they go to bed he is not interested in sex. She feels that she is not pretty as the women he looks at. Then later she tells me she needs money to buy groceries for her and their kids. Then today she told me her husband is yelling, screaming, slamming doors and sleeping on the couch. The problem is, I cannot believe all this. I do know he has had a problem with porn in the past, and sometimes it creeps back in and he has to stop it, but the other, I think is not true. She has a OCD diagnosis, & he would never withhold grocery money. She has a nail fedish. Should I tell the husband she is telling me all this even though she told me not to? BTW-I told her I had no money to give her, to go to the food pantry.
2006-10-18 15:39:05 · 8 answers · asked by angelica 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I usually tell freinds not to do something like this--but in this case since you know both people and seem to understand the situation I think it would be best to go behind her back and talk with her husband. It seems this would be in both of their best interests--though be aware it may cause problems between you and her--even if he says he won't say anything he will. She needs some help--if you think it is getting to a crisis point go for it.
2006-10-18 15:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by beckychr007 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her husband nothing. And keep telling her," I don't know." when she asks for advice. Or back off from her before she asks.It is a game for her, maybe a way to not make any decisions, maybe as a way to blame someone else when what she tries does not work. Either way, you lose, and end up driving yourself nuts trying.
eventually she will pull away when she realizes her game will not work with you. Let it happen. You can't help her anyway.
2006-10-18 23:17:06 · answer #2 · answered by bob h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not break a friend's confidential agreement. This is wrong and you should never think of it. However, if you are concerned I would definitely encourage her to discuss this with her doctor who diagnosed her.. Do not get involved with anything else. Express sympathy, tell her you know she will figure out what to do, and change the subject. You could just be enabling her to confuse the issues.
2006-10-18 22:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't tell her Husband, confront her with your believes. Maybe you need to cool it with her for awhile; but whatever you do don't get between her and her Husband, because in the end you be the BAD Guy(she would/could deny she ever said anything like that to you).
2006-10-18 22:49:05 · answer #4 · answered by lousylaus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-10-19 04:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is an akward situation that they are putting you in. In the end you know them better than we do. Just take a while to think about it yourself, and I'm sure you'll know what to do. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-18 22:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by xbluemoonfaeryx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen this happen to relatives and it ended in divorce. You'll make it worse if you interfere.
If you're a friend you'll respect her request not to tell, I don't see why you'd even think of it.
2006-10-18 22:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by unseen_force_22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you can tell her husband if you wanna help her further, however, for now, stop giving her anything..
2006-10-18 22:45:09 · answer #8 · answered by crow_nanc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋